I know this sounds stupid but........

Please give me some advice - I am 20 years old and have lived through hell with my parents being abusive but i live life to the full and try to help and love everyone around. In no way do i ever feel sorry for myself. I am a really nice person who enjoys a laugh. Just recently i have started to feel pushed out by my foster family who have always treat me like family. I was young for my age in a good way but people take advantage of it by pushing me around. Since i have started to grow up a bit my family seem to be nasty to me all the time like yelling at me for things i havent done and letting my nephews hit and kick me and talk to me like dirt. I am not even allowed to tell them off for it. It sounds stupid i no but i have even started to get bullied at college because i am the smallest, quietest one there. Sometimes i just want to move out and be free but i don't think i'm quite old enough for that yet as i still need my foster mum to guide me to independance. I am so confused and i don't know what is going on. Yesterday i even scratched all my arm in temper but then i felt so guilty for what i had done even though i was so angry with myself. That is very unusual behaviour from me but i feel as if i have no one but my best friend and i don't want to upset her as were so far apart. I have made some wonderful friends on here so please try and help, i just need some friendly advice. Thanks :)

It may be hard, but try talking to your foster mum about this. She may be quite understanding. You probably feel young inside because you have all these emotion to cope with, and they've gradually bottled up inside of you making you feel young and vulnerable.

I hope this helps, if you need a chat i'm always willing =) Good luck and love to you. xx

Thankyou it really means alot to have someone to talk to :)

More than welcome hun =) x

Thanks everyone, And bob i'm not tough though thats exactly what i'm saying. I just wanted some support. I try to stick up for myself but something knocks me back all of the time. It sounds stupid but i have a fear of being shouted at. My parents used to always do it to me and i learnt to be frightened, now if anyone raises their voice to me i automatically cry. I wish i didn't but i do so i have to deal with it. (plz dont tel me thats stupid cos i know) It's a habit like sucking ur thumb. I love my foster mum but i just want her to know how much it is hurting me. We rarely talk cos she's so busy with work all the time. I try i really do. Now i'm :(

Well i aint dangerous bob......... I can promise that and i never will be. I'm 20 now and as calm, soft and kind as anything, i got my hed screwed on rite! Thanks though! I dont watch films like that, i'm very sensitive :)

as for fighting back......... I would run a mile and even if i did i would want to say sorry if i hurt them...... It's just me, i've never hit anyone. :)

well it sounds as though what u need is a hug!!! lol

Thanks i am a soppy, huggable girl! :)