My dad always beats me... WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!

Hey everyone. I've always been posting advice for people who are in dire need in this forum, but I also need help too, so I've decided to ask for help. My father began beating me when I was about 10 or 11 years old. He then walked out on my mom and I when I was 13. Now I'm 16 and he just moved in with us about a month ago... and all he does is beat me!!! I'm too afraid to tell my mom, thinking that if I tell her then he'll beat her also. My mom has no idea at all! I'm too afraid to tell anyone about it. I'm afraid of the consequences of my action. I'm just living with these bruises adding up, one on top of the other. I'm so afraid that one day he'll go too far and seriously hurt me. All these new cuts are adding because of him... and I know I'm stronger than that! I hate him so much! Please someone help me...

I have NOT posted this thread in order for people to post back, telling me to stop whining. I need some real advice... this is serious. I would really appreciate it if everyone posted me back with some advice... I really need it.

Thanks for reading ~ Tina

Well I think the most obvious thing would be to tell your mother. don't worry that he might beat ur mother, as im sure she is equipped to deal with him if he does. otherwise you could ring the police or whateva, or u cud leave. u could tell teachers at skool, tell ur friends, tell ur friends parents, tell the skool counsellor, tell ur mom, tell ur aunts/uncles, tell the postman. There are plenty of ppl who can help u but u have to ask for it.

Incognito: Thanks, your advice was useful... it actually never crossed my mind to tell my friend's parents, that might actually help. Thanks again.

Teys: My hatred towards you is burning inside. I've seen you in other threads, bashing on other people's posts. Seriously, there's something wrong with you. I don't think you have a heart. Stop acting foolish will you. As far as I'm concerned, you're the one thats getting ALL the attention because you're throwing out stupid comments, you know people are going to answer back insulted by your stupid comment, so it turns into a TEYS arguement. So... I've got a little something for you... if you think that the answer to my question is so simple and straight forward, then tell me what you think, give me some advice for a change!!! IF I KNEW THE ANSWER TO MY OWN QUESTION THEN I WOULDN'T POST THIS QUESTION IN THE FORUM!!! Do yourself a favor and stop assuming you know everything about everybody because you sure as hell DO NOT! You think I'm proud of the fact that I get beaten... maybe if you were in my situation you would know what position I am in. You really, literally disgust me. So if you want attention little boy, go cry to mommy and daddy, stop getting attention in other people's forums... those who actually, really need help!!! So Teys, please go ahead and answer to this post... I would like to see what you have to say now. I have been sick and tired of seeing your nasty, degrading comments in every single thread... you will NOT continue to post comments as such in MY thread...

Call me a "foolish wang"? As far as I'm concerned, your own words just came around and now YOU are labeled... have fun thinking of something to write back to me... I really am waiting.

Incognito... thanks again for the advice. I'll take everything you said into consideration. XOXO

~ Tina

Hi Tina
What your father is doing is wrong and he doesn't deserve the title of a father! You do however need to stand up for yourself- he may be beating your mother too but she isnt telling you aswell. Maybe if you told her you's can both take some action! You do need to go to an adult for help, you dont have to put up with it on your own!!
Be strong
Kayleigh xx

Matthew how the hell is a 16 year old girl meant to beat up a full grown man?
I suggest you call the police or at least tell your mum.

Kayleigh & Vadz - Thanks for the advice... but, unfortunately my mother doesn't deserve the title of a mother either. She tells me that I'm the one to blame for all the misfortune in her life (she actually just told me that today). Thank you though, I will take it into consideration. I might actually tell her in hopes that she'll listen. But if she doesn't then oh well...

Matthew - Wow, that actually put a smile on my face. My father disgusts me also... the whole beating his own flesh and blood. But I don't think I'm capable of beating him up... he's 6 feet or taller and very buff... and me, well I'm 5'5" and skinny. Lol, thanks though... you made my day by showing how much you care.

Rachel - I have considered calling the police also. I just have to gather up the bravery one day to actually call them. Hopefully it will be some day soon... Thanks again.

*Thank you for posting... I would still like to hear other advice if anyone still has any. I also just like the feeling of knowing people care...*

~ Tina

You really just need to tell an adult. Not one of your friends. Their parents was a good idea, the school teacher, counsler, nurse....anyone at school really. Just don't tell another student. They wont do much...most of the time...but spread it around.

When he comes to beat you again, tell yourself to stand tall. If he ever gets you on the ground, I've learned that kicking the back of his knee will make him fall. When he does, run. Just get out of the house. Run to a neighbors house. If a friend lives near by, run to their house. Wherever you feel comfortable, but make sure that you run! Then bang on that door till someone lets you in. Tell them what happened, and get the police over there. Once they are there, it's a lot easier to tell them about what happened. All you have to do, is say "my dad" tell them where you live, and he's out of that house.

It's scary to think about, and I'm sure you have tears in your eyes right now, but sweetie, no one deserves to be treated like that! I use to think that when my dad hit me or my brother that it was because we were horrible childeren and made him mad, and that was his way of telling us that we were bad. I know now, that that wasn't the case. I never told the police on him, because he never really left any marks where they could be seen, but it hurt really bad, and my doctor found out. We all sat down and I told him about everything, and he went to get help. NOT saying that that is what will happen for your dad, but I think that my situation is a little different then yours.

But seriously...when I become a cop, it's people like your dad that I'm going to enjoy fighting with. Lol...I hope they let me play with my nightstick...I'll use abusive fathers for practice!! Lol.

Good luck girl, and just stay stronge. We're here for ya!

Oh and good job yelling at teys...nicely done! Lol.

tell a school resource officer or guidence counceller or call child services
id perfer a school resource officer or guidence counceller

SatinRisse: Wow... now that's what I call advice. Yeah, I think I'm going to tell an adult. I know it's not a smart thing to tell someone my age. I'll take your advice into consideration. Thank you SO much... thanks for showing me you care. And yes, I am proud of the way I yelled at Teys. =)

born2die: I wish that could be possible but unfortunately my father is WAY bigger than I am.

Sammi: Thank you for your advice... I will consider it. I'm beginning to see that everyone's advice is to tell an adult... I probably will do that.

Unfortunately, I'm so afraid of the consequences of telling an adult (for example, my father finding out and going further than just beating me), that I don't even have the least bit of bravery of telling a soul. I feel that the only people I can actually tell are the people on this site... and I would like to thank everyone for listening.

Much love to all ~ Tina

ur just acting like a wuss.. tell ur mum.. if he hits her take it to the cops.. i mean its that simple..

*TEYS READ THIS*

Teys: You make it sound like I enjoy getting beaten. Think about what you're saying for a second.

It's not that I have never thought of doing what people posted... of course I've thought of it. You obviously are not in my situation, therefore you can't tell me to just act!!! You think when I say "consequences" that I'm just talking about getting another beating??? No Teys, I'm not talking about another beating... you really don't know my father. When I say consequences I'm talking about something further than getting beaten... death maybe... is that something to fear now?

You're telling me to "shut the f*ck up and act"... it's not that easy. There are many consequences that only I know of... only ME! You won't understand because you're not in my situation. Maybe if you were in my shoes one day, you would see how difficult it is. Oh and don't post back telling me to stop whining because of me saying "you won't understand"... thats just the mere truth.

"How is it that you cannot think of doing what people in this topic have stated? HUH?! ARE YOU THAT STUPID?!" -- Now this statement was BEYOND stupid... how would you know if I've thought of it or not?!?! I have... I just chose not to act upon my thoughts because I actually DO want to live past these 16 years of my life.

Teys, genuinely... please stop assuming you know everything about everybody... thats clearly what you always do. Without knowing jack shit about anybody you begin to assume things about them. You're making this whole thread into a joke and that's not my reason of posting!!! I obviously want some help... so if you're not going to help me, just don't post in my thread!!! My father beating me haunts me in my sleep... it's a nightmare. Stop making my problem into a joke... I really don't appreciate it.

My fear: Telling someone about my father beating me, my father finding out, getting VERY angry (which I'm sure he will become very angry), and beating me very hard without even knowing it... ultimately killing me. Gosh Teys, think about it through my point of view for a second... I'm living with this fear every second of my life!!!

Now... I'm not trying to gain attention through this post... I'm just trying to make you understand.

~ Tina

NK: "ur just acting like a wuss"... it really gets me wondering... do you people think before you speak?!?! You're calling me a wuss for fearing my dad?!?! The man whose beaten me so many times, has made me bleed, has put bruises on my body... who is twice my size!!! And it really won't help to tell my mom because she simply just wouldn't care (or so I think)... she doesn't really deserve the title of a mother. Or if she did try to do something about my dad beating me, I'm afraid she would get beat also... and I really don't want that happening.

And no... it really is NOT that simple... you don't know my situation so stop assuming this entire thing is a joke. Have a heart dude... put yourself in my position... and think before you speak.

Read the above post also... the one for Teys... maybe that will help you understand.

I didn't put this post up to get answers back telling me that I'm a wuss... I put this post up to get advice on how to stop this from happening to me. If all you have for me are insulting words, then save it... I really don't care for them.

~ Tina

you people should stop with these stupid comments...being beaten is not easy to tell someone about or fight against...best of luck Tina

My gosh...there is so much hatred on this site!

Anyway....Tina....you're welcome for the advice. That's what I'm here for!! Lol...hope things turn out alright!

I just want to say one more thing...when someone is getting beat by someone, yes the thoughts of what to do go through your mind. You know that you have to do them. You want to more then anything. But then...as you think of standing up, and doing something, the vision of that person comes back into your head. Their eyes filled with anger because you told. They don't want to get in legal trouble, or any kind of trouble so they beat you up again. Worse this time to scare you even more so that you don't tell anyone. You're laying on floor, and they're kicking you and hitting you and yelling at you, and all you can hear is your own heartbeat start to slow down. You get weaker and your body doesn't stay as curled up. You start to go into shock. Your attacker keeps going. You can't feel or hear anything now. You just feel your body start to drift away. Before you know it...that sound of your heartbeat starting to slow down, just stops. You can't hear that any more either....

THAT'S the thought that goes through your head when you think of all the things that you can do to make it stop. If you've never been beaten before, then you really have no room to talk. It's a very scary thing to deal with and no one should have to. Sometimes, a person will go somewhere, like on here, or to friends, and tell them about their problem. Yes, they want to hear "we care" "don't do it" "it will be ok" because they don't hear that things at home. It is attention seeking but not that kind of attention. They want to hear these things because when you hear them, it gives you a little peice of courage. When you feel weak again, and think about that ONE person that said that they are there, it helps bring you back up again.

Go ahead and start in with the comments about how stupid I am, but I've been there before. I've been so low down that I've ran to someone that I don't know to ask them for help. And to rethink of them saying...."i'm here for you" "it will be ok" has helped me out so much. I'm as strong as I am right now from little comments like those. I still fall. When I fall, I fall hard. I don't want anyone to pity me. I just want to hear that one voice yell out from the crowd of caos, "I CARE".

Ok...I'm done. Thanks for listening! And like I said...go ahead and say what you wish...I can take it....I never back down on my opinions so go ahead and try....

You could hit him round the head with a comedy kitchen utensil such as a hand whisk

Teys: You're really disgusting, in every way possible. There's not much else to say about you. You're just so... eww. How in the world can you be so heartless?!?! You really think I'm hear just to be like "oh my daddy beats me, someone, I NEED ATTENTION"... you're the attention hungry one you asshole! Just think about what you're doing... you're turning everybody onto you, therefore gaining all the attention. You must be really stupid if you don't see that. I may not know anything about you're life but it's VERY clear that you've never been beaten by any of your parents, so save your bullshit. Unless you've been in this situation, then you don't have shit on me! You're parents raised you in all the wrong ways. I do NOT want you posting in this thread anymore... if you didn't notice, this thread was posted in order for me to get help, not here what you have to say, and I really can care less about your opinions... so just don't post.

I feel bad for you though, having nothing better to do than bash on someone whose asking for help. You're sad... VERY sad.

Amazing how you have the ability to turn everyone against you. Even though you're not asking for advice Teys, I've got advice for you: GET A LIFE!

Matthew: You kick ass!!! Thank you for understanding, and thank you for standing up for me!!! I really appreciate it a lot.

MARRY ME!!! hehe, i'm just kidding. You're awesome though, so don't change!

A big THANK YOU to everyone who responded with advice on what to do about this problem of mine. I do have some good news though... I decided to tell my mom. She didn't believe me at first but then I showed her my bruises. I'm surprised to see how my mom actually showed me that she cares, because she began to cry. As of right now, we're both trying to figure out how to do something about my dad. I can tell she's afraid of getting beaten now too... she just confessed that my dad has beaten her as well a few times. My mother and I have conversations, trying to come up with a safe way we can get rid of my dad. But it seems as though my dad has a feeling that something is going on, because he's always by us now. He doesn't leave the house as much, and it's difficult for my mother and I to have a discussion because he always seems to be lurking around the corner. I'm just hoping and praying that everything will turn out fine for my mother and I.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!! I appreciate everyone's comments (except Teys')... Thank you to all.

i think what you should do is tell a friend, someone you can trust the most, because think about it, who is the easiest person to confide in? its always a friend. once you tell a friend ask her if she'll go with you to talk to a school counsellor or her parents or even your own mother. see once you have a friend by your side your not fighting this on your own and you dont have to confide in whoever you choose to alone. hope things work out hun!
take care

i just read that you told your mom and im very happy for you:)... it can only get better from here

That's great that you told your mom....thats awesome...I'm sorry that you guys can't really talk about it anymore though....I wish that I had an idea for you about that, but I can't think of anything right now. If I do, I will let you know ASAP. OK?

Good luck!!!

*UPDATE*

After telling my mom that my dad beats me, she decided to take it into her own hands without telling me. She went to the store one morning (or at least thats what she told me), and brought back a couple of police. In reality, she actually went to the police station and filed a police report. My dad had beat my during that short period that my mom was out of the house, because that was actually more evidence that my dad beat me when my mom found me crying in my closet (where he usually beats me). So they took my dad away... they have him in custody. We're going to go to court in a couple of days to testify. I have to show my bruises and everything.

GOOD NEWS!!! THIS MAY BE THE END OF MY DAD!!! I know that sounds horribly wrong, but I couldn't be any happier right now.

To everyone who posted in this thread... all of you are what gave me the courage to go tell my mom in the first place. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Teys: Yes, even you helped me. All your remarks (though very hurtful) made me realize that I actually can't wait forever, or else my dad would have just beat me more. But please, don't criticize me for what I'm going through... that, I have no choice over.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! =)

Tina that's awesome that he's out of the house. I'm very proud of you and your mom for standing up for yourselves. I'm sorry that you had to go through all that pain, and the stress that is yet to come from doing the court thing, but it will all be awesome in the end. I hope that you and your mom get closer because of it.

Again, congrats on standing up for yourself and your mom. That's so awesome! Good luck in court!

well tina,

i don't have much good advice but i can say you need to get out of this situation and tell your mom and get some help from the police or something

sorry i can't do more

If you would like to email me my address is
sweeetbabygurl1989@yahoo.com

so let me know

talk to ya L8ter5
bye

candi ann

hey gurl im am going thru kindof the saem thing as you and trying to get some info on emancipation.

so please help

if youre afraid your mom wont do anything go to mutual grounds or something, ive been through all this so if you need someone to talk to email me at Twisted_princess10101@yahoo.com
be strong

My dad used to beat me. I didnt know what to do. I see a thearapist now. But I box and take Jujitsu, so if he messes with me now... I'll break him in half.

Tina..I hope you like this :)

Looking at this sweet girl
Who has not a clue
The people who love her
Cannot see her blue

I’ve seen you on forums
I hear what you say
You tell everyone else
They push you away

Hearing is different
From listening to a soul
I'll Listen to your cries
I’ll fill your heart’s hole

For an innocent child
Deserves not this pain
This torture and betrayal
May leave her insane

Come into arms
In which God will guide you
Listen to his answers
And you’ll find the Truth

For someday, Little Tina
God will punish your father
Don’t you cry tears
Don’t even bother

The punishment he needs,
Will come from only He
The maker of the universe
The passion, of thee

I pray for you darling
Little Tina, Little Tina
I pray your life changes
Love your sister,
Hina

Thank you everyone for all of your help. I should let everyone know... today was the day we went to court for the testimony. It was horrible... I had to show my bruises and my cuts because they thought they were because of my dad, but I confessed and said that I had cut myself, but that it was a result of my dad beating me. Another court date is scheduled to a day from now, and my dad is in jail at the moment. I can't believe its really happening. I'm so proud that I was able to stand up for myself.

I'm working on a poem about how I felt while I was in court. Maybe it would interest some of you. I haven't posted it yet, but please check back often.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Much love to all ~ Tina

P.S. - I'm feeling happier than ever before! And it's all because my dad is in jail!!! WOOHOO!

*LAST UPDATE*

That's it!!! My dad is gone!!! The verdict came in... he's guilty! He's in prison... I've been waiting for this day for all my life! I'm so happy!

Thank you everyone!!! All of you gave me the courage to make this happen!

I'm finally able to come home without being afraid to actually be at home. And, the relationship between my mother and I has been closer than ever before. =D

*jumping up and down*

~ Tina

I'm happy for you, wish I could get my dad convicted like that but it doesn't matter anymore but.I'm glad your doing good, its nice to know someone can find peace out there.