funny text messages

i don't know how u r, but i like to send funny messages on my friends cell-phones. if u have some funny ones, u can share.
i'll give u several examples:

*i really need to talk to u. and u'd better sit down. i just can't keep in secret that thing anymore. i think it would be much better if u'll hear it from me, and not from anybody else.
Santa Clause doesn't exist.

*lift your head up a little bit, please. i can't see you good enough.
Sniper

*why are u looking at me that way??? that's me, your phone.

hehe..I like the sniper one too, here's a funny text message...

"A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home"

"This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience"

"If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!"

hehe...my friends loves me, doesn't it shows?

these are all cute lmao

this is your local vet. im sorry to tell you but you were an accident. please report to the main office to be put down immediately

"congratulations your aplication for extreme make-over has been accepted....Your paper bag is in the post"....
You can tell that my mum loves me right? lmao...heres another one....

"Those seductive eyes...Those kissable lips...That sexy smile...Saucy ass...The perfect walk...Smoothest talk...Enough about me...How are you?"

yeh yah hard out....hope ya like em'

those are too funny!

lmao nice one Zen Master

the sniper one would work, too! i can think of no one that would duck under a table or something. most ppl would lift their heads to look around for the sniper. wow... why isnt america dead, yet?

LMFAO....Those are all funny. I must try them. I send messages from the nextel website to all my friends because they'll never know who it is. HAHA Funny stuff.

*NEWSFLASH* Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry (where do you think i shood hide?)

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!

T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network

From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………. NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!

Heee! *copies down for further use* Hilarious!

i love these...lol