My friend cuts too much

My friend cuts herself all the time and I never really thought about it untill I found out that she's in the hospital for cutting her wrist too deep. I mean I know what she is doing is bad...but once I found out that she cut herself I really wanted to. I mean I tried but I just couldn't do it. I did take a needle and scrape up my arm but not really like cut it. And even though I know what I did was wrong I still can't stop thinking about how great it would feel to be able to get the needle through. I don't know what to do because I've seen the consequences...yet I still really want to cut. Am I being stupid wanting to cut? I kno I am but...even so i still want to cut. Why do I still want to cut wven after I've seen what can happen to people?

I never totally cut...but I did try. I mean I only tried 2 times and each time I didn't really cut myself I just scraped my arm up wit a pin. I was going to cut myself the other night...but my mom was up untill I got to tired to wait for her to go to sleep and the I just went to bed...but I mean I did feel relly good after I tried the last 2 times.