im scared...

thats a tough spot...ive had some similar problems, but a little different. i was scared that if i was happy again, i would be missing something because ive been like this for so long. i decided what i needed was something to replace the sadness...replace the fear. it may work in a similar way with you, but i dunno cause ive never seen if it works...but in my case, id prefer expecting it...maybe ask some people who were never cutters or suicidal...see if fearing bad things happening is a part of being that way...then you just have to decide for yourself which youd rather have

okay thats a pretty simple one if you really think about... Being down for so long is hard. maybe you wont get so hurt when something happens if you are already down, but look at it this way. look at all the things you are missing being so unhappy. Those little moments of happiness are so important. they keep you going... Try to be happy as long as you can, and when something happens take it when it comes, dont worry bout it now...
Hope that helped! you can talk to me anytime you want! xoxox
Robyn