Numbing the Cuts

Okay, well I have this stuff that is for your mouth, and it makes it COMPLETELY numb! But, I wanted to see if i cut a tiny cut and then rubbed that stuff into it, would it go numb? So I tried, but I just did a cut like.. a millimeter wide. Then I put the stuff on it. Then I tried to cut really deep and it worked!! I couldn't feel a thing! I recently stopped cutting and I haven't really wanted to, this was NOT a form of cutting I just wanted to see if it worked. You can barely even see the cut, anyway. But MANY times I've wanted to go REALLY REALLY deep so that EVERYONE would know what they put me through. I just haven'd had the guts to do it, because it hurt so much. But now that I have this stuff, I'm scared that I'm going to get really upset and use it! Then cut DEEP! What if I hit a vein or something? Or a main artery!? WHAT DO I DO?!

No, it's Oral Jel, for your toothaches.

GET RID OF IT!

Well I did stop cutting. But I'm scared that I'm going to start again. I have "relapsed" many times.

I know, but what if I start again??

It's so tempting...

I know you're right. And I'm dumb for doing it. But I wish I never would've found that stuff. Because now whenever I get upset I'm just going to think "it won't hurt"...

I would! I really want to but I can't, my brother uses it. Because he has all these teeth problems, and if he doesn't use it then he's in a great amount of pain.. And my mom would flip out.

You're right. I have promised so many people. I have enough things to deal with, and I don't want to have to deal with cutting, and EVERYONE being mad at me. Right? Will power.. hm..

"And I'm dumb for doing it."

That's the smartest thing you've said yet...

What the hell are you talking about ismail?

Wow...

The two of you are fighting...

yeah... I gUess