Rights of a parent in Prison

Well Sunny, since your girls are older and can make up their own minds, I really think its their decision if they want to go visit their dad or not. If his family keeps calling you I would just let them know, its their decision not yours and if they decide to visit him then you'd take them to visit. I really don't think his rights matter at this point, he can't make the girls visit him, plus his crimes are toward woman and who in their right mind would make the girls go visit him. I seriously think its their decision and their decision alone. And I know that you as their mom would support them one way or the other. Good luck Sunshine, keep me posted. Email me if you wanna talk some more. Big hugs and lots of love to you and the girls.

I agree with everything Bob said.
My step father was in prison, we never turned our backs on him, we loved him through it. This may sound strange to some of you but he was one of the greatest influnces in my life... he showed our whole family how to love and what love really was. I wonder though, are you, or are you allowing anyone else to say negative things about him in front of his children that may make them not want to go see him? If so (and I am not saying you are) that is VERY wrong. He is their father. Put yourself in his shoes...what if it were YOU in prison? Wouldn't you want to see your girls even though you made a mistake? Don't you think it would tear you apart every day not seeing your children grow up? I think they should see him. He is still their father and I am sure he didn't stop loving them just because he went to prison. Do they write him letters or anything? Do they know how much a visit or even a simple letter means to someone in prison..just to know he is still loved and cared about? You know, my real father has never even been in jail ( as far as I know) and my step father was in prison for many years but he showed me more about life and love from his prison cell and in his letters and cards than my real father ever attemped to and he was 15 minutes away. Please don't let them give up on him because he messed up. He is still a living breathing person and deserves to see his children. He is already being punished for his crime by being in prison, don't punish him further by taking his children away from him. Families need to love each other NO MATTER WHAT!! That's what I believe.

I'm sort of neutral on this.

For parent not having rights:
If a person is found guilty of a crime, they lose their freedom. Part of denying a person freedom is denying their rights, (or most of them anyway). when a person is being punished in prison, they should be treated just as that, being punished. This punishment includes lack of all privileges and enjoyment, including family.
Not to mention the danger to the children and the influence the person could be setting. (Especially in this case. Exposing a sexist to young girls could definitely alter their future in negative ways.)

For the rights: the parent, no matter criminal, is still a parent. The children are still theirs by blood and if the children desire the see them then yes they have a right.

Actually, I just changed my mind. I don't think they deserve the right.
lol sorry

Alright. What I should say is the children have the right to see their parent. if the parent asks, or demands for that matter, to see their family their words should make no difference. if the children do not want to see that parent yet they ask for them, the kids have no obligation to be there.
However if the children do desire to see that parent, then yes they should be allowed to. But not for the sake of the criminal, for the sake of the girls.
The parent in doing wrong and violating the law has lost all rights and privilege of seeing family when desired. However the children have done nothing to lose their right of seeing their parent, so they have every right to see them when desired. but it is in no manner up to the criminal.

Of course, this is where law comes in that will most likely contradict my thoughts, but this is how I think it should be, not how it actually is.

I think you made the right decision in leaving it up to the girls. But i do advise you learn everything they discuss and do together while they visit, and that you supervise.

That's not the circumstance here. We're talking about a man who committed crimes against women being able to see his daughters.

And, if those rare incidents do take place, the other parent or guardian usually knows whether or not the parent in prison deserves the right, or is a danger, to seeing their children.

I guess I should have narrowed it down and said if the parent is indeed genuinely guilty of the crime. (not including war, I think that's ridiculous and seriously do not want to get into it).
But of course you can't always surely say a person is thoroughly guilty or innocent, so again it's up to the person who knows them most: the spouse/guardian of the kids.

He didn't commit the crimes against his daughters.

I don't think you should force the girls to see him, but I do think you should talk to them and encourage it. Can they at least write him? Even if it is just to discuss their feelings about this situation. Maybe hearing his side would help them to heal. Have they heard his side? Or just the media (which by the way, ALWAYS screws things up) and other people talking about what he has done? There is good in everyone, no matter what they have done. Maybe you should talk to them about forgivness. Forgiving him will be a huge part of the healing process.
Children NEED both parents in their lives. You may have to take control of the situation, teenagers can be very stubborn at times (I have 4 right now) I agree that they may need time to heal and all that, but in the end, he is still their dad...they need him as much as he needs them. They may not see that right now. I'm with Bob, if he had physically or sexually abused them then I would agree that they shouldn't see him. I am a firm believer in family sticking together through everything. You should be able to count on your family to be there for you in all situations, and you should be there for your family.

Sunny,
You know my heart goes out to you and your girls. They are teen-agers and I know they understand the extent of their Dad's crime. You truly always want what's best for your kids, I've always been taught You only have one Mom and one Dad and you should love them and stand by them through thick and thin not unless they have done some tragic things to their children. I think of my own Son If it were him in prison, he has a daughter and it would totally devastate him to know she didn't care for him enough to go see him or at least drop him a letter. Maybe talking to them you could suggest they write a letter explaining how they feel, Because with God's help maybe he now sees this is not the way he wants life to be. Anyone can change and everyone deserves a second chance, and I pray this happens for him. I'm sure your girls love him and if they would write him maybe later they'll agree to see him, I truly believe this would help them heal. You know I love you bunches and I'll support you all whatever you do, my heart is truly with you and I love you bunches.

Sunny,
Sounds like to me that you are a very good mother to your girls. I am happy to hear you say that you want he and the girls to stick together and rebuild their relationship. Give them time, the girls will come around. Your support in this matter is what they need and it sounds like you are willing to give that.
I can remember times growing up with my stepfather in prison when I would get mad at him for not being there with me for certain events in my life, but now I realize he was there for me more than anyone (besides my mom) He offered wonderful advice to us in his letters and during visits. The visits were the best cause we could hug him... I always wished I could do that every day.Well... I am sitting here crying now...just remembering his love for me. I just wanted to say, him being in prison doesn't have to be a bad thing (yes, it's bad he's in prison) but I mean as far as the impact he can have on the girls lives. You learn to appreciate every minute you get to spend together. And the letters become like gold. Just support them...you're doing the right thing.
Take care.

See, the fact that he is guilty of rape tells me he shouldn't be around the girls.
In this case, if they choose so, they should definetly be allowed to see him. But if you shunned them from their father (if he was not in jail) I would most definetly have no objection. As long as there is supervision he cannot physically harm them, so I see nothing threatening about it.
I do suggest you attend these visitations though

Sunny,
I know you're a loving Mother and you will support your daughters and that's truly what counts. I believe with my heart from this conversation and our e-mails that you are on the right path in trying to help your girls and I truly wish you all the best. You know I support you already and if you or the girls need me, I'm here. I pray for comfort for all of you and to their Dad, for God to touch his life and make him the man he needs to be--for his girls sake. God Bless you all, Sunny and give those beautiful girls a hug for me. Love ya bunches, *Ann*