You know you're a drunk when...

Your neighbors cat looks more and more attractive everytime you see it...

Rossanne looks good...

Your work is interfering with your drinking...

Every woman you see has an exact twin...(sometimes two)...

You know you're drunk when...

You have to hold on the the ground for fear of falling off the earth...

Lolz...One of my friends told me that 1

when you beleive you can fly + you try!!!
when you think that hen you close your eyes your invisible
when you have a fag in your hand and insist you dont smoke(happnend to a girl in my skul)

Every thought of food makes you feel sick and nothing has any taste anymore. And also you lose all senses. :) Happened to me many times :D

you now your drunk when...

.: your neighbor finds you making out with your cat or dog

.: you start talking to yourself/reflection

.: everything is moving faster than you

.: when all you want to do is sleep

- you slurr your words
- repeat yourself more than 2 times
- are willing to do anything
- willing to kiss n what not with anyone

When all of the plants in your house are also drunk from constant watering...

You know you're drunk when...

*You give a tree your phone number

*You fall out your bedroom window

*when you hide under covers because a moth is going to eat you.

*when the cop asks if you've been drinking and you say no sir (with a open beer in your hand)

*you wake up in a different state! (happened to a friend not me, thank goodness)

*when a four year old helps you get ready for bed, and points out that your holding your beer upside down, lol!

thats all i can think of, i'll tell you more if i can remember them.

your going to the bathroom in someones garden the cops drive past look at you strange drive away 10 mins l8r they drive by again then they arrest you for underage drinking.....happened to my bros friend :)

You know you are drunk when
*you sit in the tub with all your clothes on and ask someone to turn on the water for you.
*Gravity has suddenly taken a great interest in your arse and face! lol

You know you're drunk when...
you have stinky breath.. yuuuuckk!!

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

.: When you find yourself halfway up a tree and you have no clothes on!

^^ Hide your shame people^^

-Lyd

lol these are so funny!

When...

When you are surfing the channels with the remote backwards and the TV off.

When you think the un-flushed toilet bowl is a large margarita

When you find yourself shaving with a cheese slicing object and butter

When you wake up with another person the same sex as you.

When you can't seem to get rid of red eye.

When the lines on the road are dancing and you can't catch up with them.

When you're ordering aspirin at the dry cleaners.

When you're watching the wiggles on TV and your hand is down your pants.

~some are true stories, but none about me.

~PLP~ lil slam~

you have sex with a tree..lol jm but you know your drunk when ur 400 pound warthog of a neighbor starts looking mighty hot...*gag* or when u trip over a cord and fall on ur ass :-)

you know you are drunk when you try to walk up a long flight of stairs, and are still there the next day!

You know you're drunk when you have drank almost 14 beers within a matter of 20 minutes, and when you already have ten, and two smirnoff ices in you. I lead me to the next two things...but on the plus i had a very little hang over and i didnt throw up

You know you are drunk when you easily get tricked to think your urine is beer (bad experience okay, and i guess that makes it 13 beers considering one bottle was just urine.)

Or when you throw a bench into your friends tent because you claimed it looked at you funny (That was the same night lol)

Or when you get in a HUGE argument with your shadow (my brother)

Or when you smoke an unlit cigarette for over an hour and finish it saying, "Wow this cigarette is amazing it lasts forever" (my mom)

When you start hitting on your nephew and you try to sit on his lap but he moves and you fall down the stairs (my aunt)

When you crawl to the car on crushstone without shoes and then when someone gives you your shoes you get supper pissed at him for allegidly stealing you shoes, you then proceed hitting him on the head with you shoe. (my mom)

In attempt to butter bread you butter the cutting board. (my mom)

You hit on a cop by telling him that he's cute, the turn to puke on his leg. Oh then if you didnt impress him enough, you accidently fall face first in your own puke. (my aunt)

The Toilet seems to be so small to aim for and you end up pissing in the sink (my brother)

In attempt to insult someone else you accidently call youself gay (a friend)

You try to microwave a sausage with a freezer and get upset when its not working (my mom)

you wake up (drunk of course) and you start panicking that the bond fire that's been burning all night will burn the house down, so you decide to put it out with a coffee mug and the tap inside the house. (a friend)

When you're so drunk you end up going to you neighbours house instead of your own, and pass out on the couch only to find a little girl poking you the next morning. After that you puke in front of her and then leave. (my boss)

Now that i officially made everyone i know look bad i think i am good to go...lol If i think of more i'll come back

when you say drinking beer never makes you throw up, then stand up imediately after and puke all over the porch

When you say

I SWEAR TO DRUNK IM NOT GOD.

when you slap the guy behide the bar on the ass and tell he has a nice one.

When you go to the bathroom and realize you forgot to pull your pants down.

lmao very funny