dead end points

Okay, I need some help or something. So my guy friend (we're not exactly dating- I don't know what we are.. lol) .. so we know we love each other, but we're not dating. But a friend, she likes him with a passion. He tells me that he doesn't like her in that way, but she's always all over him. I don't know what to do! She's always reminding me that he doesn't talk to her much, therefore I get what I want. No offense, but after every single day of her rubbing it in my face, it gets tiring and it makes her seem a b!tch. She's like my best friend, but I can't help but want to scream bc of this. So what do I do? He's going through some real tough things right now bc his best friend got into a terrible car wreck and stuff and he's takin it pretty hard bc of past incidents.. and one night he needed me to be there but family issues got in the way and I had no way to reach him, so he turned to my friend. I've apologized millions of times. He's kinda closing himself off from me right now bc of my not being able to get to him like I said I was. I just talked to my friend and she was rubbing the things that he's told her in my face and I won't even lie, I'm a little jealous. He usually tells me these things. Why is he acting the way he is? I was dealing with my aunt's heart attack and couldn't get to him. I don't know what to do. My friend wants him, and I want him. I kinda have him, but then I don't bc it's not official. Do I back off of him? or do I let the things she tells me slide and just brush it off? Please help. =*(