he doesn't care

hey guys...im not usually one to ask for relationship advice but this is really bothering me right now and i dont know what to think of it, or even if it should be bothering me this much.

ok i've been with this guy for a lil over a year now, i love him and its been going really great...he shows me how he feels and we talk about everything, we're really close. we have an understanding of eachother and we've been able to work through everything thats come our way.

yesterday i found out that im not going to see him for about a month straight...this might not be a big deal to a lot of people, but i'm used to seeing him the majority of the week since our families are friends and stuff, so its a long time for me. our vacations w/ family and sports tournies are back to back for a month, so basically everytime he comes back i'm leaving. when i found out about this i was upset...im going to miss him so much--but he didnt seem to care at all. he was indifferent about it...and he acted like it wasnt a big deal and that he was happy about the whole thing. this upset me further, its like he would be fine w/ or w/o me...and after a year, that really hurts. so, we arranged to see eachother tonight for the last time for a month, but due to unforseen circumstances, i can't see him tonight. i called him to tell him this and he showed no feeling whatsoever...he was just like, oh...ok then. then he goes "colin (one of his friends) wanted to hang out tonight anyway" this made me feel really bad...like he could care less that plans were broken and he can just replace them in a second. i dont know if im taking this too seriously but i just dont understand. any thoughts/advice/comments?

Sounds like he's comfortable and secure enough in your relationship to not worry about things too much for 30 days.

Maybe you're looking for problems that aren't there.

Are you as comfortable and secure in the relationship yourself? Any underlying trouble?

Remember that men and women are very different emotionally.

B

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wow thanks bret that actually helped a lot...it all kinda clicked when you said it like that...i'm kind of insecure with myself...so it probably reflects on the relationship

Hey, I have the same problem as you. Only my boyfriend isn't going away for a month but when I can't see him or anything he changes plans instantly and I take it badly & can't see why.

*he can't see why.
(My mistake!)

I know i never started this post but as I said i was having the same problem and felt so crap and thought me and my boyfriend were failing, but after hearing that advice and everything from Bret, it makes so much more sense and i was worrying over nothing!! Now I feel so much happier & this weight has been lifted.
Its really weird how different guys & girls can intepret things...but now I know this, I'm taking it as a massive compliment! :-) xxx

yeah, its just seems as if seeing me and my feelings dont matter sometimes...i'm probably thinking too much on it though.

yeah same here...as soon as bret said that i realized that he always has been the secure one and that's probably it...

Women are like a 32 inch plasma screen with Technicolour. There's so much colour and a thousand buttons on the remote to press in the right order to get a quality picture

Men are like cheap little portable tv. Everything's black and white and there's only two dials to play with, channels and sound.

Next time you're feeling insecure remember he's a black and white portable tv. Simple to understand and easy to maintain.

That is very good wisdom...and it also makes so much sense. Thanks xXx

hey!!! ur bf prob does care and alot more than u think! just coz he dont show it dont mean it aint there. broke up with my ex a few months ago and ive been trying to get him back. he just txted me and told me he still loves me and that he wants me back and i would never have seen this coming coz he never showed emotion like that before!!! anyway it might be good to have some space between you's coz it seems like you spend every waking hour together which is cute! im sure you will get back and he will tell you he missed you like crazy...if not, then dont sweat it hun xoxox

From past experiences I've found men to be the ones to act bigger than everyone. They can't express their feelings too well. A year is a long time though.. I wouldn't spend the rest of your life with just one person.
*shrugs* Love problems can't be solved with the voice of the people.

when i get married i'll spend the rest of my life with that one person...as for now, im not thinking of marriage but i'm not going to break up with someone totally great just because we've been going out for a while...that doesnt make sense. i understand it might be good to date around, but right now theres no need for me to.

I think maybe he just didn't want to show to you that he is going to miss you let him know that it comes off as he doesn't care and see how it goes!
*good luck*