Tell your best Jokes Here!

why is african-americans so tall? cuz their knees grow (the N-word) hahahaha sorwie if i offended anyone, it's one of the jokes i got it from my sis.. =)

yomama so stupid she puts make-up on her head just to make up her mind.. =)

one day there were two muffins getting put in a oven. the 2nd muffin starts screaming saying"get me out of here its hot and it burns". then the other muffin says "oh shit a talking muffin" Ha Ha

A bus stop and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is Galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once a more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'.

An English professor...

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

Question: What do you call a man with half a brain?
Answer: Gifted!

Question: What is the thinnest book in the world?
Answer: "What Men Know About Women"

Question: How can you tell if a man is happy?
Answer: Who cares.

Question: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Answer: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

~Wishing Well~
funny story
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!

Yeah.

A fella walks into a bar. He goes 'Ouch!'. It was an iron bar.

hahhahahaha hilarious!! =)

This is one of my favorite jokes, but I can't type it out here...heres the website for it though:
http://www.funtoosh.com/dj.php?details=A11~236

Theres 2 brothers, and they sleep in bunk bed's..

1 brother decided to bring his girlfriend...the younger brother stayed and just fell asleep on the bottom bunk. The older brother took his girlfriend to the top and started having sex, the girl started saying Faster and Harder Faster and Harder, The brother thought a way to hide and said, lettuce is faster, Tomato is Harder, so the girl started saying lettuce tomato lettuce tomato, the younger brother on the bottom bunk woke up and said, stop makin sandwhiches your gettin mayonaise on my face.

there was a girl who was invited to a fancy dres party.
but she turned up not waring fancy dress.
the bouncer at the door sed, 'sorry you cant comee in your not in fancy dress.
so she got her fany flaps, pulled them over her head and sed 'i'm a sugar puff'

your momma's so fat, she saw a schoolbus and said "stop that twinieeeeeeeeeee!"

your momma's so short, she can sit on a curb and dangle her legs!

your mamas so stupid she stopped at a stop sign n waited for it to say go

there were 3 men. a white man a black man n a mexican.a genie came a long n said ill grant u 1 wish as long as u say a sentance with the word calculator in it. the black man said"i can add on my calculator". the white guy said"i can subtract on my calculator". n the mexican said "i ate 2 tacos n i made caca-later!"

Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was only the Prince.
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Yo mama so old I told her to act her age, and she died.
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A student comes to a young professor's office after hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"