Serious writers much wanted

My job is worse...

Could someone give me an honest opinion on my lates poem, the river?

About myspace, is it possible to just post your personal email myspace? Or doesn't that work the same way?
Eg, a web address that looks like:
http://spaces.msn.com/members/

Hold on a sec. I have got one now:
http://www.myspace.com/icegirlkat

There we go... ok, what have a missed all day? What has been decided to get this group active?

This may seem like a very, very silly question: but how can I add photos or change information on myspace?

Nevermind. Finally, I figured it out.

it says I need to be a member for 7 days before I can write in the forums...

anti-spam thing...

so we won't be able to write requests yet..at least not I.

Ugh, I missed alot. Sorry, I haven't had time to sign on over the last couple of days.

I went to myspace.com and tried to sign up. But it said that this function will be down for a couple of days so I just have to wait before I can sign up.

Anyway, I am ready to start critiquing now. So I will just start checking out the people in the groups poems and leave my comments. I hope I am able to be of some benefit. So look out for my comments guys.

Lol, the critiquers first venture into making something organised has already been put back a week :p

Doh.

Still doesn't stop us all giving good comment to one another though, so it's fine.

Amanda: In "the Enslavement of Beauty" it is the beauty of the swans that have been enslaved by the pond. They have been put there so that people can watch them and admire their beauty. But swans are supposed to be free, not enslaved, and thus their beauty of old has faded. You cannot imprison beauty, and expect it to remain as it is.

The last stanza is only supposed to emphasize the effect this sight had upon me. It tries to say how a heart in love is not a free heart, and that the beauty of the heart (the feeling of being in love) will slowly fade when it "belongs" to someone.

Could you check out "the river"?

Hello to all,

I'm very young and have only been seriously doing poetry for the last 6 months and been writing for under a year, although my work is mainly songs. Although my experience is not that big, I have been reading quite a bit of work and I am interested in a group who will help me improve my writing capabilities and that will comment seriously on my poems and i can critique too without people voting 1s on my poems because I did not give them a five. My writing may be immature to all of you, and i can agree it probably is, but I would still like to improve the content and skills in my writing,

Thank You,
Caitlin

Caitlin, your poetry seems of good standard and your heart seems in the right place to improve it, so i have no qualms with you being a part of this.

I'd like to put it down to Enslavement to make the list though, in place of any decisioning body we are yet to create.

Passed comment, Ismail.

Sorry that I haven't been on here guys! I just started a new job and I have family in from out of town! I promise on Sunday I will spend a good majority of the day reading and commenting on everyone's poems~Holly

Thank you Sean and Ismail! I really appreciate it, even if i do not become part of the group. I am off to read some more work, by the way, if any of you get bored with this site, check out:

www.deviantart.com

It is pretty good and has its own section of poets..
Anyway, Thank You guys a lot, I shall be back on later, bye

Hello all,
I posted a new poem last night, if you have time, please check it out. It needs some work...
Also, about the myspace group, I'm not even sure if I've been accepted into it yet... I'm not too good with computers and what-not.
Well I must be off- I have to work!

I can post in the forums... is everyone else able to?

Hey guyz
Can I Be a member of that group
also i've submitted a new poem which will need critquing..

Nema: I am not sure...I've checked out a few of your poems, and I notice that you do not write proper English. This group is for serious writers, and to use proper English is a must.

What do you guys think?

Enslavement of Beauty
Chris Walker
Amanda Bee
Sunny
Mike Glass
Ismail
JHarrison
Sean
Shædow Poet
Holly Armer
Maharani of Angels
Broken Misery

That's the list...

I will start commenting much more when I can be active on Myspace...

at the time being, i have my hands full...

peace

Thank you very much Enslavement of Beauty, it means a great deal to me to be part of this group to help myself and others become better writers. Thank You!

i would like to be part of this, if im welcome

I'm chop liver...

NO YOU'RE NOT, NAT!!!!!!!

i'd like to join your group plz it would mean alot getting more of a comment then wow great all the time or it was good let me no plz luv jessxxxx

Yes...

At the time being the group is full...

I suggest that you make a new one if you want to. the concept is great, I think, and there is no reason why people can't copy us. If you do make another group, we may consider moving the latest member of this group over to you. I do fear that we are too many already, but time will show. ¨

Feel free to follow our example...

PLEASE...

Could anyone check out "The River"?

It is night in Norway now, which means that I'll read and comment on poems.

so I'll be sure to comment on poems written by Poetry Inc's members tonight..

peace...

Thanks for the comment Chris...I'm impressed...

(I'm at work now, so I'm not able to comment right now..but in an hour or so...)

Untouchable's comment to The River:

I checked this out and I don't like it one bit. You're trying to use a productive metaphors but it just went down the slope. You are way too focused on the water theme. You could have used it but you went overboard with it. Were you done watching porn then you decided to write this? It's preposterous. "At first, I dared not swim in you...and dove deep within you. From shore to shore I swam...I remember when I drowned in you." Man, I give this a 1/5~Pathetic!

HAHAHAHAAHHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHh.... she is killing me...hahaahahahahahhah...

haahahhaahah

ohh..

hahaha

Okay Chris, I edited The River to a great extent...Let me know what you think when you have the time...

Chris: thankyou for the comment. I will definetely edit the poem... I would now, but I'm suffering from a terrible cold. Thanks once more, though.

Chris, you better watch your language or you will end up getting suspended.

As for the rest of the group, are you all set up on "MySpace" now? Shall I lock this or just go ahead and delete it, so that we can maybe keep others from following Untouchable's example?

I don't know if I am actually any good at writing poems. And most people who write comments about my poems never tell me the bad points about them - I also feel that I would really like to be honest with people without sounding mean and this seems like the perfect idea. I hope there is still room for another member and I hope I can join.

Even if I can't I would really appreciate it if someone could read at least one of my poems and give me honest feedback. I have only started writing about a month ago and since then I've written about 20 poems. And I really want to improve my writing techniques.

Many Thanks
-lyd

ok, I'm going to lock this. If someone in the group can Private message Lydia and Trish and let them know of there is still room in the group or whatever. I know it's going to look like I'm locking it out of the blue, but I did ask about it earlier, and there are a few posts I deleted, so if anyone has a problem with it, feel free to private message me. or edit one of your posts.