help...

darl i dont want to sound harsh but for your age you surprise be by how you feel so i think you might need some help but if you want to start by talking you can email me at misia_malachi@yahoo.com.au also i want you to know i understand and care very much buti hope you can stay strong and find a way to help how you feel love sarah

Nobody is 'happy' with everything in their lives. So don't try and find it because there is always something that is going to bug you. If you have tried to commit suicide twice let me assure you you'd be dead twice over. Stop cutting, if anything it's causing you more problems (aka your friend). She has distanced herself away from you because most probably it's killing her inside knowing that you are hurting yourself. See by not only hurting yourself your hurting others. Open your eyes (something obviously you have not done in a while) and have a look around. You are not the only one in your situation and you're going to hurt alot of other people if you 'commit suicide' (again!). "I really think i need some help" well go and get it. Don't sit here bitching about it.

Ismail is right. Though he's giving to you in a version of tough love, i'd take his advice.
-A