My Best Friend... SERIOUSLY help

okay, i have this friend named Ben. i am a 12 year old girl.. he is a 14 yr old guy. and he has been raped, beaten, showed off as a "trophy", never good enough, you know... his family doesn't care about him.. and he doesn't even know if we're friends. he wants to be.. but he's not sure. he cuts, drinks, does drugs... a LOT of bad stuff. and he had stopped for like 2 weeks... then last night i asked him why he did it.. and he told me everything above. about what happened in his past.. then he told me that he was prolly gonna start again because i reminded him of everything... and he wasn't MEANING to make it sound like it was my fault, but that's how i feel. and.. i'm not a perfect christian, i make mistakes, but i do belive in god. i don't think he does.. AT ALL. i just don't know how to get through to him. then today he talked to me online.. and he pretended nothing happened last night... and he knows something did happen. it was a HUGE fight, i was on God's side... but he was just focusing on the bad. i want to know how to help him, he has been to MANY counselors/shrinks/phsycotrists... i don't know what to do. i just feel like it's my fault if he starts again.. and he doesn't even know if we're FRIENDS! i care about him sooo much... please help! sorry it was so long.

i made a mistake above. i meant to say he DOES believe in God, he just thinks God hates him..

It's not your fault Tasha that he said he'd do it again. Just try to keep being there for him. He's lucky to have a friend like you. I agree with Ismail take his advice. Keep strong. It's gonna be a tough battle for the both of you. Best of luck, I hope things get better!

there's not really a lot you can do for your friend. you can be there for him when he needs you and that's about it. you can't make his pain go away... you can only help him cope with it. his past is always going to be with him.... he may forget it for a while.... but at one point or another, it'll come back to him. just talk to him, let him know you care and you're worried... maybe he'll talk about it all. but if he doesn't, just let him know that you'll always be there for him. as long as he knows he atleast has one perosn on his side, maybe things will start to look better to him.

tasha first of all ur a great friend, why? becuz ur trying to help ur friend keep that in mind,secondly i work in a program that helps teens that have been beaten and things like ur friend has gone through d main thing that u can do for him is b there show him that u wont leave his side, show him u care, thirdly never ask him or judge him about his situation if u tell him that he shouldnt do that its only going to hurt him more, dont critize his actions just listen and help him by being a friend....its hard, but give it a try i know what im telling u i used to b a cutter and i would hate it when my friends would tell me something about d stuff i did then they realized that their judgements were hurting me even more, so what they did is listen to my problems and try to help me as much as possible.Think about it!and i think ur a great person for trying to help him!

^^ agree with her

hey only just seen your post. first of all well done for being a good friend :) If you are a Christian and want to bring God into it you should pray for him as well as trying to do practical stuff to help him. he will know you are his friend if you stick by him and care even if he doesnt want to admit it. also at the end of the day he is responsible for what he does, not you. you can try as hard as anything to get him to get better, but its up to him whether he actually does, you are not to blame. anyway i mainly wanted to say well done and that i will be praying for your friend too :D take carexxx

tell him you care,tell him you are there for him,tell him you wil be his new best friend.love everything about him,comfort him,give him a card everyday to show you care!