How to make Girls like you

This post was originally posted here:
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/discussion/topic.html?topic_id=19574

It has undergone some minor changes.
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Want to make a girl like you?

You do these 5 things...

1) Don't ask. Especially not for sex.
First, I hope you're not that kind of guy.
Second, this means that women are emotional people, not logical. For some strange reason, if a girl knows you find her attractive, she will be less inclined to go out with you. The less attractive she thinks you think her, the more attracted to you she will be. This is partly why men can't get rid of women they don't like: they show no interest. Mistake.
Perhaps it's something to do with wanting something you can't have.

2) Dont give an honest answer, when you can lie.
WAIT! Don't run away. It's not like that.
If a girl says "does my bum look big in this?" You'd be a fool to be honest and say "yes." Lie. Say no. It's up to you to decide when to use this rule. Use it wisely. The only time women want you to be honest, is when it comes to the bad things of other women. So, if you don't like another girl who the girl you like doesn't like (if youre with me) then it's best to be honest there and say "you know xyz? I don't like her either." (I do not suggest you gossip).

Do keep in mind that girls hate liars. You lie, she finds out, you lose. Therefore, I would advise to only lie where it doesnt matter, like "does this make my bum look big?" type questions.

3) Don't be logical (like me!)
As I said, women are emotional, not logical. I have yet to meet a girl who likes/can play chess. Chess is a logical game. No girls like it. Ok, ok. There are a few freaks in every kind, but most girls don't like it.
If you do go down this path, it will result in your emotional death, and basically losing the girl you like.

4) Don't talk.
Girls like to talk. Shut up and listen. Simple.
All you do, is introduce a topic. That is your sole purpose in a discussion with a girl. Oh. And to agree with her at all times. She doesn't like something? Guess what? Or do you. She thinks something is good? Well, guess what buddy - that's right. So do you.
EXCEPT: when they speak badly about themselves. "I'm short!" - refer to rule 2. LIE!
"I'm fat" - you lie: "No you're not."
"I don't like my hair" - "It's lovely!"
I'm sure you get it :-)

5) Be a man.
This is what people here have been telling you. Be yourself. But be a man about being yourself.
Girls tend to like older guys. Why? Because they can look up to them, they have a protector type person, etc. It's all printed in the brains long ago. Incidentally, it's printed in the guy's brain to be that protector, and to look after his girl.
This means several things. Be in control, especially when there are other guys around. If another guy insults you, think of something clever and witty to say back. Be weak, and watch the girl you like fly away.

Have I done all that?
I'm not that shallow.
Does it work?
Yes. I've done almost the exact opposite at all times to the rules above:
1) I told the girl i thought she was pretty, and that i liked her
2) I was always honest (except about the bad stuff about self thing. I'm not that silly!) - I also didn't talk myself up, unlike other people about. I was just me. Mistake.
3) Yup, I was logical. Yes, it led to my emotional death.
4) I gave my own opinions about things. This simple made her feel inferior, and she never spoke about the subject again. Every time I would bring something else up, she'd always ask what i thought, and promptly agree with me. If she disagreed, she just said "i don't agree" and left it at that.
5) I'm a polite type of person. I never insulted people back, ever. It gave the illusion that I couldn't. This one person would always belittle me in front of this girl, and y'know what? I lost. The guy I lost to kept all those 5 rules.

Follow the 5 rules, m'boy, and you'll be fine.
And be yourself. Just not too much.
Oh. one more thing:
RULE 0: Don't trust another guy. This means don't talk about this girl to anyone who is male. No one. I broke that rule too. Guess who to? That other guy. Which is why you mustn't speak about a girl you like to anyone: they may say 'y'know what? he's right. She is nice!' - and then you'll have competition.

Follow the rules...
People will say im shallow for saying these things. I don't care. It's all true. People will also say it isn't true. If they're girls, they're speaking from their heart and emotion, not their mind. If they're men, they're speaking from inexperience.
It really is that simple.
The thing which is not simple, is keeping a balance between these rules. IF you show too little interest, you may lose her. If you don't actually ever have opinions of your own, ever, she'll think you're stupid. Keep the rules, and keep the balance. And good luck to you.

Oh. The girl has a boyfriend? No problem:
RULE 6: Undermine him. This means keep control at all times when he's around, point out his flaws, talk yourself up, and show, in general, how silly he is, how bad at something he is - even if he's really good at it. It doesn't matter. Remember, girls aren't logical.

But the guy is. He will hate you forever. So don't think you're making any friends from Rule 6.

To the guys: Heh. Good luck.
To the girls: Maybe i'll tell you how to get a guy one day ;-)

The following was lifted from here:
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/discussion/topic.html?topic_id=19574

Original author: ж♥жD£ċ£a§£d¤Aήg£lж⼯a>
date: 2005.07.01 07:52
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I'm very impressed with how incredibly smart you are...actually im EXTREMELY impressed....you know chicks more than most guys but you failed to mention that chicks are backstabbing whores lol and youre better off being gay...i mean im a chick and i know okay. no were not logical (in any way shape or form) we only talk from emotion and were completely clueless about everything EXCEPT fashion and whos sleeping with who...take it from me sweetheart..you are better off being gay or being alone of course there are lucky guys that can catch a sweet girl every now and then and im not saying that all chicks are backstabbing whores coz you can meet a lot of nice girls but im saying majority in the world umm yea def backstabbers...but i am completely impressed with your logical explanation on how we think and what we like im actually proud that ONE guy on this planet knows what hes talking about lol...

As to who ever started this thread im sticking with Danny coz he knows EXACTLY what hes talking about no matter what ANY stupid retard says...so like he said good luck (and try to pick a backstabbing whore coz in the long run you will be fucked over lol ) have fun!!

Love
Kiki

First, I thank you for your kind words.
Second, don't call me Danny.
Third, here are some things I'd like to point out:

1) Guys aren't that great either.
2) I'm straight.
3) With any luck, I'll find a kind girl.

That is all I look for in a girl. She has to be kind. The rest is fluff.

No problem.

And I started this thread so someone can disagree with me. That'd make things interesting.

If no one disagrees, well....hey. This is valuable information to guys everywhere: it deserves to have a place of it's own, instead of being burried under a ton of posts somewhere :p

OH. And as far as i'm concerned, girls should just be gay too, lol.
Although a bi-sexual lady once said they're both as bad as each other.

Anyway, quick joke:
One lady to another: Meh. I'm never going to find someone! Where have all the sweets guys gone?!
Second lady: They all have boyfriends.

lol, uh huh, that simple :p

okay after reading half of this i went down to the comment box.....wot the hell was all that bout...so basically are u sayin that a guy has to become an emotional robot, agree with everything the girl says (seems shell b talkin so often) and loose all traces of his persoanlity. girls dont want guys to lie n b silent...we want conversation, we want opinions, n we dont want to try n talk forever even tho we find it quite easy.

there shud only be one rule here and that shud be to be urself...if the gal dosent like it then move on to another cos u cant act ur entire life. so stop tellin ppl to live a lie, n focus on being urself.
xxxLoUxxx

Wel, LoU, let's take your comments one at a time:

"so basically are u sayin that a guy has to become an emotional robot"
Nope.

"agree with everything the girl says (seems shell b talkin so often)" Most things, yep. Although I don't believe that to be essential. It's just one of those little things which, if the guy does, will make the two closer.

"and loose all traces of his persoanlity." Personality? What's that? Yep. I hate it when people change their personality depending on who's about. But it appears to work.

"girls dont want guys to lie n b silent" Of course not. But guys probably will remain silent a lot of the time even without my advice. It just so happens that girls talk more than boys.

"...we want conversation, we want opinions, n we dont want to try n talk forever even tho we find it quite easy" Oh, of course. I merely advise people to make sure that when they talk, what they say essentially agrees with what the girl says. And as I said in the other half of the post, if a guy never speaks an original thought, she'll think ihm stupid.
I'm not saying go to extremes with these rules, i'm saying use them wisely.

"there shud only be one rule here and that shud be to be urself..." Uh huh. And that's a very, very good rule. If you're looking for friendship, not a girlfriend.

"if the gal dosent like it then move on to another cos u cant act ur entire life. so stop tellin ppl to live a lie, n focus on being urself."

Nope, you most certainly cannot act your entire life. Nor do I suggest that. These 5 rules should be used only when you want someone to like you. Not once they do like you. Otherwise never telling a girlfriend that you think she's the prettiest thing to walk the planet, or that you love her, or that you'll be there for her: not saying any of that once in a relationship would see a rather quick end to that relationship.
Equally, saying all that before the relationship starts, and the guy is basically a lovesick jerk.
What if a guy liked you, and suddenly started saying "I really love you, blah blah blah, soppy soppy soppy" - it would throw you off somewhat, for starters, wouldn't it?
What if your boyfriend told you that? Ahhh. That's sweet, isn't it?

hey daniel can u tell us girls how to get a guy?? i see that ur really smart.. uve really got us figured out lol thats gd for u... but can u also help US girls ? :) thxx

Sadly, thats pretty much all true. Except I can play chess and I'm NOT a freak! hehe. But you're right, unfortunately, and it makes us girls sound extremely shallow. I guess we are.
Now how to get a guy? That would be nice to know, except I've completely given up on relationships 'cause, while lets just say I've met some guys who should read this. (Ugh, I AM a shallow backstabbing bitch O_o)

hate to admit it but alot of that is actually true lol!

TELL US HOW TO GET A GUY PLEASE

I think a guy should want to hang out with his friends, if he doesn't, thats odd. No offence. But do you really want a high maintenence boyfriend?

that is ridiculous. well most of it is.
btw
Chess is a logical game. No girls like it. Ok, ok. There are a few freaks in every kind, but most girls don't like it.
AHEM I like chess...
What you said YOU did is what I would look for in a guy, honest except for those self image problems, has his OWN mind I can STAND a guy thats just there agreeing with you and doesn't talk...yes I like to talk but i also like a person to talk back!. And I hate those runaround guys that pretend they don't like you when they do its immature...I want a guy to come up to me and tell me I'm the most beautiful girl he has ever seen...it will never happen but thats what I would want. if you like a girl tell her, unless she just so happens to be a preppy bimbo then go with all the rules that person has stated but if you want a REAL girl don't listen to them. *rolls eyes*
~*Freak*~

OH yes and one more thing...all that protector bullshit...yes be a protector...of HER...I was with a guy all he did was talk shit to people if they insulted him, it was ridiculous but when his best friend called me a fucking slut what did he do???? nooooothinnnngggggg. If you want to be a protector show some maturity and IGNORE people that piss you off and protect your girlfriend o.O a little double standard but i don't care. personally I can take care of myself but it really shows that the guy cares if he sticks up for you no matter what...
~*Freak*~

RULE 6: Undermine him. This means keep control at all times when he's around, point out his flaws, talk yourself up, and show, in general, how silly he is, how bad at something he is - even if he's really good at it. It doesn't matter. Remember, girls aren't logical.
I'm dying to say fuck you right now...but I'm too nice..^_^ that is complete bullshit though...you are making these rules up for ridiculous immature preps...real girls are NOT like this. you watch way too many movies buddy
~*Freak*~illiogical my fucking ass

EEEEEK haha I'm reading what I wrote and I was in a little bit o' a bad mood haha...forgive the swear words and the harshness...I still stand as to what I said about most of it being bullshit...But I could have used "bullcrap" instead >_<
~*Freak*~

Excuse me, I agree with most (not all.. but most) of it, and I am anything but a "preppy bimbo" as you so nicely put it.
Although I have to admit you are right about the "always agreeing with me" part. It would be nice to have a real conversation instead of one where he doesn't listen, and agrees with everything you say.

I apologize for insulting you. I am deeply sorry. I was in a bit of a bad mood. I still hold on to most of my opinions though...But they are just opinions..
~*Freak*~

Well, everyone is entitled to their opinions.