Sean needs advice.

Sorry for not posting much lately, or commenting, or much of anything....as i had said on myspace "Problems and obligations are swimming into me like blades, and i'm trying to catch them before they hit into me"

I need help on some of these problems, one of the main ones consist with my girlfriend...

I've been seeing her everyday for the past coupla weeks now, and she seems so amazingly happy when with me (apart from the few tears which are based around things in her life before, regarding a relationship) and i've helped her overcome self-harm, solvent abuse and a reliance on anti-stress medication now...

When i first met her, her msn name was 'Scum - Stupid townie slut' after a while she changed it back to simply Tracie, but now it's back like that and she keeps denying things are up....but then she randomly bursts into tears when with me :(

I'm really scared she's slipping back to what she was like before and we talked about it on the phone...

Me: "Are you ok Tracie?"
Her: "Yes i'm fine"
Me: "Are YOU ok Tracie?"
Her: "Just leave it Sean, please"
Me: "Don't you trust me...?"
Her: "It's just the same things about Justin" (her ex who raped her...)
Me: "Well, why can't we talk about it? Even if it's the same things, i can say the same things back to you, that i love you"
Her: "Well what if that doesn't help anyhing?"

At which i got really upset....i'm failing her, and she has no clue what i do for her....I ranked up a 160 quid phone bill which i have to pay back in full (working part-time now and she doesn't know just so i can pay back the bill) She lives 5 miles away, i can't afford bus so i walk it everyday and tell her i got the bus.

I'm not even sure what i'm saying, i'm just really depressed and down lately before any of this..

I'm proposing to her on the 16th, but i'm so scared now...what right do i have to engage her if i'm unable to make her happy? Why the hell does she want to marry somebody who is so fucking hopeless?

*Shrug* Just needed a place to vent, sorry guys and gals.

I've got my prom later, and shall probably end up wrecking my liver to ignore things.

I am not able to access my hotmail ones at this time, so sorry for not replying Sunny, but thank you in advanced :) x

wow i cant say i have advice cause beleive me i dont but if ya ever want to vent or just talk ya can email me....just stay strong and hope it works out for the best...

there isn't much that you can do to help her. my friend got raped and although it really bothers her still she can't talk about it. I know how hard it is to see a girl that you love suffering so much and not being able to help. But the truth is hun i don't think you can help her. she needs to do it alone. or seek professional help. my friend sees a rape councellor, and she said it really helped her out. try suggesting that. as for what you CAN do...when im with jessica *my friend* and she starts getting upset i dont pressure her to talk about it, if she cries i give her a hug and tell her i understand and that its all over now...she still wakes up screaming sometimes...its hard...but its all you can do in a situation like that. good luck. and dont forget the main rule, don't push.
~*Freak*~

i agree with *~freak~* she can only help herself but u have to be there for her if and when she needs it. try posting the option of professional help, she may not want to fill u with her hurt and past anymore even tho thats all u want her to know she can do...i know its eqaully as hard for u as it is for her but just be there for her and tell her u understand and itll be okay and that u love her./ dont beat urself up...as far as i can see uve saved her so far and love her enuf to catch her everytime she falls....
u shouldnt beat urself up, u should put urself on a pedistal cos u really seem great n u gf is lucky to have u!....if u wana chat email if and when u can or just write on here if u okay with posting it :D

take care sean
xxxLoUxxx

She's had proffesional help already, and is still recieving it.

Sunny, no email has came through now - I can access my email, sorry to be so late to reply.

Bye all....thanks for your support.

OmG!!! you walk 5 miles for her everyday OMG! that is soooo sweet!

It's fine really, 1 hour and 20-30 mins it takes if i'm not too tired...I usually give it about 2 hours to make sure though, i'd bike it but my bikes screwed at the moment.

It's not sweet or romantic, or anything - It's simply realising she's worth every ounce of my energy and time, if i was trying to be sweet i'd pull of my socks when i got there and go to her "These blisters repersent my love for you"

Now...that sounds like a cool idea.

no way ... 1 and half hours... walking! to get to her thats pretty damn sweet. I dont think the blister thing is all that romantic lol (whatever floats your boat tho eh)...

best of luck with her, i can tell she means alot to u

I'm so sorry to hear that, man...

Wish there was anything I could do...

I know how you feel too, I think...

Mail me if you want to:)

Actually I think pulling off your sock and shoving a smelly foot in her face that is covered in blisters is sort of gross...I don't suggest it hun
~*Freak*~

heheh actually i think the sock thing is a good idea...least then shell have visual representative of ur love in a metophoric way! wow big words here hehehe....i just wana wish u best wi her and hope it works out for u both cos u seem great guy
take care
xxxLoUxxx

You guys take me way to seriously, christ. :p

Anyways, oddly enough she had a desire to both smell my feet, take off my socks and play with my feet, and inspect my feet today....as well as me doing the same with hers....foot fetish maybe? :|

I've made one decision so far, i WILL propose on the 16th of July.

I love her folks, so very very much.

Oh, and yes i am a tad little drunken at this present moment of time so please excuse the penguins.

penguins?!?! Where?!?! lol

As for that foot fetish all I have to say is this: o.O
~*Freak*~

*Shrug* If it's what she likes i don't mind, just they're smelly, and her feet had dry skin on it and stuff...but what's love if you can't take a bit of a iffy smell from time to time?

o.O....*burst out laughing*
~*Freak*~

It's not that funny, her feet would rock if they weren't sweaty =(

Oh trust me sean...If someone you didn't know started talking about sweaty, blistering, smelly feet it would be that funny to you
~*Freak*~ *still chuckling*