Have you ever thought your birth was a mistake?

hmmz my mom didnt really wanted me she wanted a girl instead so all throught these years she hid it from me and took out her temper about it on me throught the years, i guess my mom hasnt figured out that you cant always get what you want in life. I just hurts me knowing that she didnt want me, I already ever talk to my mom now that my parents are speperated, I talked to my mom about 5 times just this year and thats all and only abot 15 mins a peice.

any way Just thought some one else may think this to...

-Josiah

i'm sorry to hear about this....my mom's told me i was a mistake. not in so many words but she did. my "dad" isn't ever around and he's separated from my mom too...but they're better apart i hate that bastard. yeah i feel like a mistake a lot of times in my life but come on think about what you have and what you did to have that. that has to count for something.

i am young and i am tired. don't think i helped you lol....

Take Care. Peaces.

Thanks man ;)

it sucks I know
I think about it when ever I see my mom just looking at some times even wanting to say some thing about that but it wouldnt be worth my time, "what is done has been dont and cant be undone"
-Josiah

I go through my life thinking about all my mistakes thinking if I wasnt here that wouldnt of happen or something other then that any ways...

Take care

-Josiah

I do that too. I think everyone does. They think about how things would be different if they would've never been born.

Most of the time i think about it when i'm upset or angry, and during that time i notice that my mom's looking at me in a hurt way. I know she see's my "dad" in me, i look just like the son of a bitch (excuse me i shall go back to profanity therapy soon. swearing is bad! lol) and i have his temper. I hate having to be the reflection and i want her to see that i'm not like him but every day something makes it harder to prove.

To think about your past mistakes is normal. But don't worry about the mistakes you might make in the future, you must live life. Remember, with these regrets we shall learn not from them but from trial and error. So regrets are pointless. Throw them away. :)

Nice to find someone i can really identify with. You take care as well.

Peaces and I'm off to bed...

I know but I can learn from there mistakes and my mistake and hope I dont do the same, I can live what they have done to me but I may never probly be able to forgive them for it... but things happen you know

thanks alotz
Cya and good night

-Josiah

Very true. :)

No problem...nice chatting with you.

Good Night For Real This Time lol....I think.

you to

okey thanks

Good night.... are you sure?

-Josiah

Not really. :P I think i shall surf the forums a few more times before i head off to sleep....gotta case of insomnia tonight, as usual hahaha...

lol its 2:09am here where I am and I have to work in the morning but oh well lol

I think I have the same problem?

:p

-Josiah

lol maybe....

it's the same time where i am....i'm out of school for the summer, going back in a month, so i have nowhere to be erm...this morning. :P

I see I have school in about 1 month to but it is my last year of school and I only go a half of day all through the year...

lol!

are you happy about it ending?

oh for sure, I cant wait but then I have to work full time after school gets out and so forth lol but I dont mind at all... I will miss messing around In school though...

i'll miss it too....but what am i talking about i still have four years to go before i "graduate"....seems like so much time but it's going to come fast i know that for sure...

going to high school next year. whoopee lol.

dont worry i thought the same thing and wow it was fast it seems just like yesterday when i was just coming in on my freshmen year but I had alot of fun through my High school.

it does sound fun....somehow has a lot more to offer than middle school does...i was talking to my friend about it today and we're thinking about getting more involved with the activities around high school when we get there. fun fun fun :P

oh ya there are alot of activites in high.. at least there was for ours.. and of course I am some times a trouble maker but I dont get in to deep deep trouble just fun trouble with friends that like to goof off... we did some fun things in high school. I will surely miss high school...

Parents usually say stupid stuff when they are angry with you, and most pregnancies are not planned. My mom didn't plan on having my sister and I but it happened.
So stop whinning about your mom being angry with you and saying something stupid.

yeah i am what a lot of people call retarded but what me and my friends call normal lol....we goof off and get into trouble but never the deep stuff....but we also never get caught haha....you caught me at a good time when i wasn't being "normal". :P

Missing high school.....i miss pre-school. At least there i could take naps in class and not get in trouble for it.

this one was plan and hoping for a girl but they normaly or havent at all dont it when there agree with me they try to hid that from me like as if there ashamed...

-Josiah

lol see it sounds like you are going to fit right in at high school and have fun, But let me tell you this dont goof off to bad were your grades drop down I know alot of ppl that have dont that and are taking grades/classes over....

-Josiah

lol too late. it happened too much this past year. but i promise i won't let it happen again. i'll concentrate this year...

thats good, it will look good for jobs and colleges if you go to college ;)

but make sure you have fun though =)

i will trust me. :)

i'm going to go to college in New York with that friend i mentioned. We're going to get out of this place of Georgia and get away. Haven't told my mom yet....she hasn't either. We think it'll break their hearts cuz we're the babies.....but you got to do something for yourself...right?

ya i understand you I guess they will have to expect the fact that your growing up and your not a baby
any more but you always will be there girl...

"thats good, it will look good for jobs and colleges if you go to college ;)"

Josiah for most jobs you have to go to college.
And jobs you get in high-school don't look at your report card.
And to get into a college, you don't need high grades, I have an average of 62% and I can get into many colleges.

yeah...they will have to. it'll just be really hard i think.

their little girl....don't mind being her. being her after i turn 50...maybe still won't mind. i love my mom, she's done a lot for me. feel like i might tear up right now hardy har. :P

I bet it is hard for ur mom, She really cares for you and loves you.

btw heres a tissue :p

lol thank you. :P *blows snotty wad into tissue*

there we go no need for tears now ;)

nope! no need at all.

save em for when you really need em. lol

thats goodz;)

I am reading some of your poems they are so sad but very touching I love the once I have read so far and I am sure I will love the rest of yours...
they have a powerful meaning behind them..

hey we've been talking for over an hour! can you believe that? i think i'm reading that time thing clearly...:D

oooh thank you!

lol I guess we have I didnt even notice that

i will read your poems...you are a decent person, i can tell....so i will see who you are as a poet! Interesting....;)

oh o_O thanks mam

I am not sure about a poet though:p

SHICKIE! Hun don't dare say that!

No no no i believe I am the one reading the poemses....? lol!