Big Time Uh-Oh...long but please help!

Hello,
okay this story is going to be very long but there is a lot to know.... my what is now ex boyfriend was with me for 2 years (im 15 now) and we had the best time together. I loved him and he loved me! The first year went great...then highschool came around and everything changed. My best friend left me for no reason at all so i started doing shit i shouldnt do like cutting, popping pills (a lot of them), becoming anorexic..having suicidal thoughts...etc. my boyfriend was really worried about me... hed cry all the time telling me he didnt want me to do this and stuff like that but im stubborn so i didnt stop...then shortly after my boyfriend started to hit me, push me, grab me and just isolate me from everyone so it was always just me and him...i guess it was his way of caring... But anyway...one night i was cheerleading and fell and hit my head on the concrete and i got a concussion...the next day my parents werent home (like always) so i had to watch my brother and i couldnt i was so out of it so he came to pick me up... i went to his house and he took advatage of the situation and raped me. i didnt dare tell anyone about this.... until i thought i was pregnant with his kid...i told one of my guy friends..turns out i was pregnant but i killed it by not eating and bc i was too small to carry a child (92 pounds at the time) so after that i was still cutting and one time he pissed me off and when he went to the bathroom i cut and right as he came in i was wiping the blood away and he just freaked out and ended up cutting me with the knife on my leg....everything was just all fucked up but he still loved me and god i still loved him. So later on my parents found out and called the police and we arent allowed to talk or anything now but we still call eachother some times but i just dont know if it is worth it... i really love him and he is the only one who hung on everyone else left me. i know he loves me i really do.... he is just this way bc his father was. i just need some advice!!!
thanks,
Kayla

im sorry about your whole situation...if you really love him, tell him that he needs help. he needs to talk to a professional to learn how to deal with his feelings and problems.

sorry got bored and stopped reading after the first sentence...i dearly hope you forgive me

hey its me!
I would like to thank all of you for helping me... i am still confused as to what i will do...he means a lot to me even though he did this...and for all your information...i have tried to stop...seen all the therapists in my area...i have stopped cutting but i still suffer in other areas. i am seeing a therapist right now...much beyond my wishes but hopefully this will all end! thank you much!
-kayla-

Azreal- i know what you're saying and i underdstand where you are comming from but he could have threatened to leave me or something like that because there is no excuse for what he did and i know that. all along while doing this i knew that he would not dare leave me... i tried to stop but i couldnt i hurt too much...but all he did was make my pain worsein the end....where if he had left in the beginning i would have felt a need to get my act together because he is all i had..... thats all i am trying to say...and im sure kirsty is too

well just so you know ive already stopped cutting...my 1rst therapist took care of that...i still have some issues but i am trying to get them straightened out.... it wasnt like i was just sitting back and not doing shit i was trying to get help...it just wasnt fast enough because im stubborn and u know now it is his turn to get help but he hasnt yet bc his parents wont let him god knows why so we might go to court for this whole thing and damn...im scared but yea...peace