Has Anyone Tryed To Comitte Suicide,or Has Thought About It???

Hi Amanada
I have always thought of just ending my life right there on the spot. Whenvere my dad would yell at me or if the wrost would happen in my life and even when people talk about me. I used to just write things really hard into my arms and legs with leg intill it hurt so bad i would cry. I have a book that i write how i'm going to die and if I have any idea's. I ever wrondered if I would ever be happy. you will always have that day once or twice in your life but you don't want to get to grown to it because you may never be ahppy again...

Hey Amanda... one thing for sure, you are NOT alone! I've been through it all. I'm 16 and I've attempted suicide three times. I've been beaten by my dad since I was ten years old. My dad walked out on my mom and I when I was 13, and even though he abused me it still affected me how he just left one day. So basically, after he left, I just got really really out of hand. I've never had a problem with making friends at school, so as I entered a new high school, I mixed in with the wrong friends. I got into drugs and alcohol... and HEAVY drugs. I've basically tried every type of drug there is, except for heroine (I'm afraid of needles). My mom no longer had any control on me... I would leave the house when I wanted and I would come back when I wanted. Sometimes I would show up a week later. My mom didn't seem to care either though, being that she is an alocoholic. I started cutting when I was 12, but it wasn't as bad. As soon as I mixed with the wrong type of friends, that's when my cutting really became a problem. I basically did drugs every night, which means that I cut every night... I couldn't feel the pain so sometimes I would go really deep. Up until I was 15 years old, I was a heavy drug user and I was SO into cutting and I was very suicidal. My best friend, Danielle, was just like me in every way. Everything from the drugs to cutting. Well, when I was 15 and so was Danny, we made a promise to each other in February of 2004 that no matter how much we cut ourselves, we will NEVER go as far as to committing suicide. One night, in April of 2004, once again I got extremely high and I decided that my time had come. I slit my wrists and Danielle had found me unconcious, still bleeding. She called for help and I spent 5 months in the hospital. I was let out in August of 2004. Still, I continued the drugs and the cutting, despite my mom's efforts of sending me to psychiatrists and rehab centers. Then, in September of 2004, Danielle committed suicide. I lost my best friend. I found her dead in her room, and the instant I found her dead, I attempted suicide once more. But, fortunately or unfortunately, I was found once again, unconcious. Again, I was taken to the hospital, where I hated the fact that I was still alive. I wanted to die so bad, knowing that my best friend had just killed herself, and broken the promise we made to each other. I was let out in October of 2004, just in time for my birthday, where I turned 16. My first birthday without my best friend. Basically, from that day on, I decided that I need to change. Now, I've been drug free for 9 months, ever since November of 2004. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my dad walked back into my life in March of 2005. Once again, he started beating me. I gathered up the courage to tell my mom, who filed a police report. My dad is now in jail for beating me. My mom is still an alcoholic and I still struggle with the fact that my best friend committed suicide. I don't think I will ever get over it. One thing I wasn't able to overcome was my problem with cutting. But, I have faith in myself that I can in fact overcome it. So, now that my new goal, stopping the cutting for good. I think I can do it, keeping in mind that I haven't touched any type of drugs for 9 months, and trust me, it was difficult for someone like me, someone who had done drugs everyday for over 2 years straight. And now, Danielle's younger sister, Stephanie, is becoming just like Danielle and I used to be. She's only 12 but she's already started cutting and she's already gone to the hospital for attempting suicide, and it's like she looks up to me as if I'm her role model. So, I'm trying to set a good example to her by completely stopping the cutting. Hopefully she'll learn from all the good I've done, and not the bad. So yeah, that's my life. Sorry it's kind of long but I hope you read it all. Anyways, good luck with everything. I hope this gave you an idea that no matter how messed up of a situation you're in, it's possible to pull through. All you need is faith in yourself... and I speak out of experience.

If you want to know more about my life in rhymes, just take a look at my poems if you'd like... they're all true.

Take Care & Much Love ~ Tina

Hiya wow tina that is really insprirational. Well i also wanted to say you are not alone.

I was abused by a neighbour from 6 till 14, had really ultra strict parents and i was bullied a lot at school. I dealt with it until i was about 16 then my brain couldnt cope and i talked about the abuse and the poice were involved and stuff and i just cracked i started cutting a lot and getting very depressed.

At 17 I met my husband to be Aaron and i thought he would help me get out of it, but he cheated on me a lot and made my life a lot worse, resulting in my first suicide attempt. I carried on the cutting until i found out i was pregnant and i stopped.

I managed to stop for about a year but due to my husband hurting me a lot stil through cheating on me and stuff i did it a few times because i just couldnt cope. I tried to kill myself again in Febuary as stuff just got too mmuch for me again. But since then no cutting or trying to die and i hoipe to keep it that way, especially because i am pregnant again. That it is my story so far....so we'll see how it goes

Go to school!!!

i have thought about it before actually a couple fo times but when i get to trying to do it i can pick up the knife adn put it up to my skin but i cant do it idk why but i just cant do it adn then i cant take pills idk i just dont have teh guts so i suffer with the pain i am going through without hurting myself even more

iv tryed like 10 times(Dont know why im still here) and i used to cut, i still do but not as much as i used 2, cause it just doesnt help me ne more.. but i just got like dumped from the one guy i loved so much, i found out he was lying everytime he told me"i love u" so now i think that i should just overdose one sleeping pills..

SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!!! LIFE WILL GET BETTER IF YOU ALLOW IT TO....PEOPLE WHO TRY ARE JUST CONFUSED AND DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO OR JUST WEAK..i tried to commit suicide once...but in the end it will just lead to more suffering....i belive in everything happens for a reason...and in the end everything will add up...who knows maybe when ur 30 u will win a million dollars and all or ur pain will go away........but you will never know if you kill urself...you will just sufer in hell.......ok i got that out of my system..so how was your day

Suicide is not the answer.The answer is to change the world into the love it used to be,so many years ago. I accuse the world for the pain it has caused me but I thank it for letting me have the only things worth living for-LOVE AND FRIENDS

You are not alone, and you never, ever will be. There are alot of people who feel the same as you, who go through the same things.

Who cares if you don't have many friends? I only have two friends.. My boyfriend and my friend Jacob. If the friends you have are those who you can trust with anything, why would you want more? More isn't always better, you know.

As for the abuse, many of us have gone through that. Most of us express them in poems or let it out in tears.
Up until just recently, I'd express it in red liquid. Yes, I used to cut. My right forearm has over 100 cuts, and the word "Sorry" is hidden in it.
It stopped when I met my boyfriend.

Life is what you make it to be, and, from my experiences, it's true. Yes, I'm only fifteen but I've been through more than most fifteen year olds.
My Mama told me that if you keep thinking negative things, only negative vibes will come to you.

The music you listen to also influences your actions. I used to always listen to Rock/Metal music when I was sleeping, and I woke up angry and I always had a headache. My Mama changed my music station to a soft rock/pop station, and since then, I've been calmer and, of course not as angry.

I guess what I'm trying to say is the environment you're in will affect your mood indefinately.
Things will get better, trust me!

its even worse now, i cant take it im not trying to get atention by this, but i think i might just have to kill myself b/c i just cant handle life, all this stress, and all this pain, i am just sick of living, i just wanna die right now thats how bad i am

jessie do u have aim?

xxxxxxx

I wouldn't do that jessie! we're still here for you so..

i have tryed it a couple of times. i have writen a suicide letter it is saved on my computer. so if i accully do it they will know why and what i want.

i dont know why some days are good and i dont look at it other i sit at my computer with a bottle of pills and beer. and wonder what to do. i dont understand why i feel like this. i mean is suicide the only way to get away from the pain

do you think that everyone who has tryed to comitte suicide thinks like that or is like just a one time thought. i mean some people only try it once. so do they think like that again.

I've thought about it....but then i realized it's not worth it.

Peaces.

hey Jessi i'm almost sure anyone on this site will talk to you about whats going on in your life to try and help.. i mean heck i'll listen to you and help if i can.. sometimes it helps to talk to someone you dont know or havent met in real life.. i have always trusted them more only b/c i have never met them and they dont know me when i'm out around other people.. just a thought.. you can email me ne time if you need someone to talk to.. and that goes for ne one.. people say i'm a good listener..
Yes i have thought about suicide.. i think almost everyone has.. but i never have only b/c i know it would kill my friends or family if i did.. ups and downs in life.. thats all.. just try and make it through to the next day.. thats all you can do.. well thats my opinion at least.. bye bye EJ

but what do we have to live for. in all reality a few material things.

I'll just say this.

Suicide is the most selfish thing on this planet.
I mean, how could someone get that lonley?
How could one honestly believe their alone?
That nothing will get better.

Yea, i've tried. Back in my adolecent years. Now that i've lived through my uncle and best friend, and grandma and brother all kill themselves. I wont do it. no matter what, i cant get that selfish. Because you never know how much you cared till their gone, and then the regrets start. And the pain of them being gone forever is just heartbreaking. I mean suicide is just selfish. It was the worst thing in the world going to wake my uncle up, and him being dead. And saying ''see ya'' to my best friend whom i loved with all my heart... and never really seeing him again. ..... i mean, its just too much pain.

No offence to anyone or anything. But its stupid. it really is.

yeah do you rember that feeling though were no one gives a damn. (or you dont think they do) half the time you that lonely and no one notices it because you try to be happy but it that time in the middle of the night when no one is around. thats when you start to think no one cares so why am i here.

amanda! I have never felt suicidal or anything, but I know that there are people out there that would care if your dead.

Read my poem "Before You End Your Life" .. that should help.

Please Try And Stay Strong, Even When Everything Feels Like It's Wrong

xX Erikka Xx

you arn't the only one, you never have been and you never will be!!!
2 years ago my mum told me she had cancer and that she was gonna die, by the christmas just gone or april this year at the latest!! i then couldn't cope and i started self harming because i didnt think i could live without her!!
then about 7 months ago my mum told me that she didnt have cancer, she never did and it was all a lie!! that then made me feel even worse because she lied to me and i didnt know what to think!!
my mates told me they would alwayz be there for me but then 2 days later they said they hated me!! i got really down, and my self harming got worse, but i made a new group of friends that understood me and now are trying to help me!! i then got some professional help, but she didnt help that much. my mum found out i was self harming and told my doctor he then said to her that this is nothing to worry about and all im doing is attention seeking, i then spoke to my councillor and she said that she thinks i really need to talk to him because she thinks i have depression and i need medication to control it!!
i can't talk to my parents about this, because all they do is have ago at me, hit me, and then say that if i don't shut up and stop self harming they will chuck me out of the house and make me live on the streets!!! they don't think about the fact that this makes it worse, they are just selfish!!
i have thought about overdosing quite a few times because i know you die quicker and with less pain that way!! and with self harming you don't alwayz die!! but i never actually take an overdose because i know that i would regret it and my mates love me and i know that! everyday they ask me if i self harmed the nite before and they are really proud of me if i say i didnt and i love it when they are proud of me, if i do self harm they don't mind they jsut encourage me not to!! they are really happy lately cause i havent done it in 2 weeks!! (trust me tht is a lot to me and them!!)
i don't want to ever kill myself, but i only self harm because to me it is a way of punishing myself for things that i think are my fault (even though they arnt)!!! i don't really know what else to say.......
luv RaNdOmGaL xxx

I will try to make a long story short. I had thought about suicide for 4 years off and on, even seriously consitered it. I had tried a few 1/2 hearted attempts, until my sophmore year. My parents found out I was cutting, and instead of realizing that there must be something very wrong if I would slash open my own skin for comfort, they made my life even more of a living hell than it already was. I was stuck at home all the time, they wouldn't let me go out. They took away my car... funny that all the knives and razor blades stayed in the house... I guess that was too much of an inconvience. I tried to kill myself many times after that. Would have the last time I tried, if I had grabbed the right bottle. Then they diognosed me as bipolar, put me on Lamictal, and I feel so much better. Therapy, though it is hard work, is really helping and my medication has kept me stable enough to do it. I still think about it now and then, but not really the act of suicide, but rather the feeling of death. Just to be gone, never having to think or feel again. That sounds good to everyone every once in a while, even if they arn't suicidal. Sorry, this turned out to be long, what can i say? I tried.

well...i keep going on and off n ya i agree suicide is selfish..i mean think off the people that'll be hurt because of your death..n this is always what goes though my head when i think of death n suicide..i think bouts the ppl who actually care for me..i couldnt hurt them. n besides i know i dont have the courage to kill my self, i've stared at some pack of pills for ages and n held a knife thinking whether i should or shouldnt. n sometimes death seems to be the best option...but i have so much more to live for. i know that n so does everyone else.
but at the moment life seems so dull so pointless...but i duno i try to think positive....i hate feeling this way all the time, when i say i try to think positive i cant really.. mm..it's like i have no strength no motivation not anymore i cant even sleep n i hate feeling so hopeless n guilty for everything i do it only makes things worse...n for absolutely no reason...i wonder if i made any sense..n seeing scary visions is another problem.

Suicide is NOT the ANSWER! I tried it when I felt no one cares and lost my best friend! Things get better! There ARE people who care about you, believe it or not! If you keep it up, you will find that out, THE HARD WAY! Suicide is NO GOOD! Believe me when I tell you. PEOPLE CARE!

EJ, when ppl tell me they can help me, other ppl start to yell at me, they say "we dont need ur life staory" but they dont get thats my life staory, and i really dont have a word in how i feel on boreds, cause there r always ppl who, like yell at me
Love Jessi
P.S. i changed the name so now its young death insted of jessi

yeh but sometimes its hard to concentrate on life when everything seems so hard, yeh there are things to live for but its hard to see them when everything is soooooo bad. i've had depression for about 6 months now and it has taken over me, i can't even rememba what it feels like to be happy!!
i have my friends that are there for me but they can't alwayz be there with me, i wish they could but they can't and when your sitting there on your own all i think about is how sad i am and all the bad stuff that has happened!!!
and icklebaby, what if its a boy? lolz
luv RaNdOmGaL xxx

yeh but i've tried that and it aint true that don't work, i try to look at the world in a happy way but everything alwayz goes wrong like i was happy until all my mates left me at christmas, and i tried to carry on being happy but everything just kept getting worse, what am i supposed to do?
luv RaNdOmGaL xxx

"iv tryed like 10 times(Dont know why im still here)"

That means it's obviously not your time to go. Give up, you're meant to stay.

i dont wanna stay i just wanna end it!

I feel you, bro. Nothings wrong about hating your life or those around you. Hell, I even do it too. Every night I cut, to forget everything I fucked up that day. But whatever, back to the suicide issue, or whatever..

One night someone that was close (I've never been to close anyone since) left, worldly. I sorta wanted to join her, and I got the fucktarded idea of jumping off a building. Well, I didn't die, but broke both my legs and my arm.. Haven't done anything serious since that..

I wish I could kill myself, but I'm just to coward to do it.. I thought for a while I could get someone to kill me, but no one will.. even though no one likes me. God, why can't it just end..?

"I wish I could kill myself, but I'm just to coward to do it.. I thought for a while I could get someone to kill me, but no one will.. even though no one likes me. God, why can't it just end..?" i sorta feel like u do, but i feel the only thing that im holding on to is my mom, if she wasnt there id probaly have killed myself by now. i thought the same thing to maybe someone will kill me, during major thunder storms, id stand out in the rain hoping lightning will hit me.

"Every night I cut, to forget everything I fucked up that day."
i used to cut i dont ne more, cause it just doesnt feel the way it used to, and i didnt want anyone no i cut, cause i used 2 cut in the same place, i might cut myself sometimes, but only when i have a really, really bad day or something

depression...n that ...would it be better if neone derpessed went to see the psychiatrist? or just had someone to talk to ...cause suicide..n thoughts about suicide is a SERIOUS problem. ..hmm but im no expert just messed up n feel like same as what most of you have or are.

i have thought about it alot but i just dont have the guts to do it