My mother taught me funny please read

I found this on the internet and I thought it was funny. What my mother taught me. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done. if your going to kill each other do it outside I just finished cleaning. my mother taught me about individualism. I bet if all your friend jumped off a bridge you would too. my mother taught me religion. you better pray that stain will come out of the carpet. my mother taught me about behavior modification. stop acting like your father. my mother taught me about time travel. if you dont straigten up im going to knock you into the middle of next week. my mother taught me logic. because i said so thats why. my mother taught me four sight. make sure you wear clean underwear in case your in an accident. my mother taught me about hypocrisy. if ive told you once ive told you a million times dont exaggerate. my mother taught me irony. keep crying ill give you something to cry about. my mother taught me the circle of life. i brought you into this world and i can take you out. my mother taught me about the science of osmosis. shut your mouth and eat your supper. my mother taught me about contortionism. will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck. my mother taught me about envy. there are millions of less fortunate children in this world who dont have wonderful parents like you do. my mother taught me about stamina. youll sit there until all that spinich is finished. my mother taught me about how to solve physics. if i yelled because i saw a meteor coming toward you would you listen then. my mother taught me about weather. it looks as if a tornado swept through your room. Sorry about it being this long i just had to tell you it was funny. please read and comment.

thanks did you get my e mail

i heard this poem during mother's day last year in my church!

those are funny!!!
i have a couple

My mother taught me right and wrong...I'm right, you're wrong.

My mother taught me to be modest...Don't think too highly of yourself, you're better than that

etremely entertaining.. where did you find that?

i found that on funny.com

hehehehehehehe*breath*hahahahahahahaha*lol those r great

LOL.. thats cool