Try this.. wow

Okay heres how you do this (it will let out some of your most inner emotions-- no cheating). Just start typing, type your emotions, everything that comes to mind, DO NOT STOP TO THINK. just keep typing! I let out so much emotion it was weird:S:S really odd feeling.. heres mine

So I dream I let reality take over
I don't think about anything but you and I just tell myself eveyrthing is going to be okay that I just need to be strong and push these feelings aside because their mere feelings and you won't accept me for who I am. I know I'm crazy for all this, I don't really know you but still i think and dream about you all the time. Part of the problem comes from inseccurity all of my fear. I so badly want to belong and I want to get over this depression that keeps me from the world. i hate life. cuz its impossible and no one will understand me no matter how hard I try and I can't even give anyone the chance to understand because I dont tell ppl my problems cuz I'm scared they'll leave me in the end.

You Try:):)

...emotions?
umm, ow my head.

I love everyone,except my family.I love CHARLIE I LOVE ANDREW I LOVE BRYAN :( I NEED A BF SO BAD IT HURTS wheres my love when i need someone to love me?!?! im so alone! i quit being depressed a few days ago but my empty heart knows no bounds! I dont really like josh hes a jerk now! i love my best friends so much! im not an idiot im just a critic! why dont people like me sometimes? im so fun! ....
i love...me.

its feels kinda good doenst it?
just to let everything out

ok here goes

Why am i so fucking depressed all the time? all i want to do is succeed in life but NO i cant do that can i cause noone believeds me me, my family dont believe in me, my friends dont take me seriously and im like one huge joke to them, the class clown ut not a person who is gonna succeed i in life. why cana nyone see thru the fake smile that i wear and actually help me? oh yeah i know because i refuse to LET them help. ive given up already on everything, school work family, the onli thing keeping me going os my friendships and even in that there is only one person i love enough to call my friend. Everyong thinks they are so perfect. everyone struts around like they own the place and everyone is so fucking 2 faced. I wanna enjoy every part of my life but for some reason i just cant!

you said type and let it all out? ok

right here I sit with all this on my mind I have no idea who to talk to everyone I try to talk to takes everything I have to say like I joke I feel all this emotion And I can never realease it holding all this inside I just wanna cry but I don';t I can't push myself down crying only leads to more pain. All the tears tht fall will just mean more pain. I hold All this hate all this hope all this scareness everything all inside! I love you so much and I can never tell you. you make me smile and you are so perfect but I can never tell you. I Hate you so much And yet I love you You alway had a part of me that You could just click Your fingers and I would return to you like nothing has happen! I HATE SCHOOL!!!! I have to sit in lessons five hours everyday listening to teachers telling us we are shit and tht we can do better than we are. Wat if I can't wat If i fail in everything I do everything I touch just turns to shite! and I can't take it anymore Everything I try to make right just is crap. WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER! I try to make everything perfect try to make everyone happy just to get hacky looks off everyone! I get all these hacky looks because I look so different to everyone eles. I am fat spotty a freak I look different to all the beautiful girls I hang around with I end up always having the piss taken out of me for nothing all I have to do is sit on a bus quietly everyday and have you call me names Say I am a bitch you all hate me I know why are you trying to make it worse!!!!!!!!! I can't never please you all so I don't even know Why I try To you I am invisble. You tell me to get over myself! And so I shud I am just making all this worse than It is nothing Is wrong I am just a stupid person thinking that her life sucks wen actually it is ok everything I talk about going wrong is just stupid and little and Just nothing! I am nothing.

There ya go

~@L€X~

lovemewhileucan... ur rude! but if it got ur feelings out then kool

I started to write but then the power went off and I couldn't finish...

But umm... well I guess I should just say how wierd I feel right now. I feel happy that I just had my dance friends over today, we had an awesome time but I miss them so much. and I just psent like 20 mins ranting off to Dottie my NEW bestfriend!! I Love her to death!!! I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH!!!! We talked forever! and we totally trusted each other!! i hate what happened between me and Amy, but now I have dottie and I love her to death!! omg I miss her!!! :(:(:(:(:(:(:( LMAO sorry I just dont want to think about anything right now so I'm happy!

Peace out

that lid on the tuna can looked nice so i used it and i im not even sure if i feel bad i used to feel bad while iwas in i.o.p. but now i dont i dont feel bad not this time it felt wonderful that lid for a blade pressing against my skin and squezzing out blood watching it drip down my leg not patting it away it was beautiful it was home i did it again today but i cant tell anyone cant tell anyone about last time either im getting into my old habits and i dont care at all its me its how i feel and that s me and i want to b me not some damn pill and i no "me" was wen i was depressed and if u take me off the pills then i iwll try to b happy i truelly will but if it doesnt work im sorry if in the end up dead im sorry but thats me iwill try but i am me and u cant change that i wanan cut my wrists this time nto my thigh or my hip and illl cut really deep and mayb jsut mayb ill die yes yes thats how i wanna die the lid of the tuna can will be pushed and pushed on my wrist then ripped away and bleeding and bleeding all over hte bathroom floor ill run the shower so u dont wonder why im taking so long nad ill sit in the tub and let the tub fill with blood and hten ill jsut sit there all blooding nad such and fade away jsut watching the world turn black and ill enter into reality bc i hate seeing all this crap infront of me things are aheaded for the worst and i dont wanna watch the downfall all over again......

but for now ill jsut sit in my room and listen to my music for now ill just cut my thigh never to deep for now ill just dream about the day i die and pray that it comes soon......mayb ill jsut fade away tonite some how someoen will take me and ill b gone away from all of this away for ever..... because this isnt real none of this is real so why am i here..........................

~take me away~

(sorry if half of this doesnt make sense the words got all jumbled but i also hope no reads this u no its jsut for me but i just figured incase someone was reading it it should make sense so sorry if it doesnt.....)

how could they use me like some freaking playtoy? o look there's tiffani lets go flirt and then throw her away. lets tell her we like her ask for her phone number than leave her in some cold dark alley way. why do i have to be this way??? my heart feels broken in two by you. you took it thinking you really wanted it but now im black and blue from being hit. you said you liked me and took my heart then gave it back with a cute smile thinking you were so smart.
every day i sit in my room crying silently or just staring ahead thinking of what went wrong in my seemingly perfect life. i had everything planned out but now it's all chaos. my puzzle pieces flew apart into many colored pieces. i feel so depressed laying in the darkness feeling the cold. who is going to be my savior??? i don't like to be messed wit honey so if you don't like me scurry along now cuz sorry isn't going to cut it this time.

wow that actually felt kinda good...

k... here goes

i hate myself for saying those things about my brother to my mom. i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself. i'm so fucked up. i caused my boyfriend to cut him. i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself. i just want to feel like it is not my fault, that some how some way it wasn't me that caused all this in teh first place. i ruined my friend's reputation b/c i'm screwed up. i failed them. i failed my mom. i failed my dad. i failed everyone that loves me. i failed shawn the most. i promised him i wouldn't cut, and i did. i hate myself. now he is cutting himself. if i would have never done it in teh first place. he would even have done it before. which means he would not be doing it now. i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself.....

taht's enough. i hate myself is all i can think of right now. it's a good release to do this tho.

i wanna try again.

everyone loves me,even the ones who hate me. all my life is built on dreams and nightmares and sometimes i have no one to turn to but myself. i have lots of friends but theyre all on the computer. i feel myself fading away into my own little world,where everythings peaceful. it just hurts when my lil world is shut by a sudden yell from my mom to do some stupid chore i just hate. it sucks so bad cause i feel im losing hope. i cant seem to get a hopeless romantic for a boyfriend without losing the friendship after the breakup. it hurts so bad and i dont want to take risks at all to ruin a terrific friendship. i long to be at peace with just those i care about forever in my own world. sometimes i confide in strangers and that is just wrong!

in the wonderful words of bob shank.

''If I told you my reality, you'd
say I have a great imagination,
If I told you my imagination, you'd
say I've lost touch with reality"

Thats how i feel because typing all my inner thoughts would be pointless, then what things would i have to think of?

O___o

I can't believe I wasted so much time looking forward to the prom. It just wasn't right without Anthony there. I miss him so much and it hurt seeing all my friends enjoying themselves and dancing. I just wanted to go home and dream about him. I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't come back. he said he might come home next week for a while, but things could change. Ahd even if he does, I'm just going to have to say bye again. Next time it will be for good.I don't know how to cope without him. I really need him here with me now. I love him and no one understands how much. Why can't they see me cry and realise that I would do anything for him?

I don't like doing that for some reason...

I hate myself for what I have done in the past with my ex-gf, and I still love her and she still loves me but I dont know why we are not going back out I guess its because of her mom and what I do I guess.. I hate my parents cus they dont really care about me they havee tryed to kick me out of the house more then once and it saddens me but I guess thats alright now but I remmber the bad things they have done to me and thats already dont and over with but I cant get it out of my head

It seem that no one really cares about me but My ex girl friend every thing is so confuseing and I am sick of being abused and being so confused. I am always depressed and sad and no one can make me happy
I try to write but most people THINK I SUCK AT WRITEING POEMS it makes me so sad and makes me not feel like I dont want to write, I wish I had some people to talk to but no one really seem to care I guess thats how I have to be in my life...
I really want to hug some one but I have no one to hug and I feel so sad and I want to cry and even maybe die but I know what I feell isnt really real but god only knows what I want and what can happen to me. one of my ex played me and is going to play my friend again but hes stupid I guess thats what hes going to get, I wish some one would understand.. so unlove i guess..

-Josiah

kk no prob w/ that..
why must i constanly feel this way after i get dumped? All i can do is ask myself why.. Im so damn alone and scared and i fel like evrything i had is gone.. I blame meagan for that i hate u(nobody from his website) and i wish u could see what u did to me, u were my best freind!! And matt how the hell could u dump me and act like u hate me know.. We were in sooo much love. U were my everything! My only one that listened to me and my best friend, thank u for being there when i needed u matt, but baby now ur gone im gone and what can i say? I turn 15 tomorrow and i hope u will call and i just want to be able to wake up every morning and not feel alone and scared. I thought moving would make everything better but for know i think it made my life worse.. why couldnt we just try a long distance relanship... if u said u loved and that u meant it why are we broken up and nothing now... I love u matt and thanks megan for ruining whats left og my life.

*Edited myself...

hmmm ok...

well i dont have any clue what to do.. i really do love beth.. but she hasnt ben in the picture and now i have really fallen for andrew but i dont even know if that would work out.. but i really wanted it to, but now beth came back into the picture? and i love them both so much... and i really do love andrew... but im engadged to beth... seh has waited all this time for me.. and i promised id be with her for ever.. she loves me so much.. but i dont even kno.. omg im so confused.. wtf.. i just really wanna die.. and my parents dont even care. they kno i cut.. but htey dont care cuz they kno its cuz im upset over beth an omg my brian is juss gonna explode i gotta stop now :S

i am so in love with tim but idk what to tell him iw ant to tell him how i feel and we ahve been dating for like 5 weeks adn we ahvent told eachother how we really feel yet i am gonig craxy cuz when ever i am with him i feel like just yelling i love you sooooo much but i cant cuz i dont want him to think i am wierd we have hung out so many times and me and him have been through so much becuse of how we got together in the first place which was i kissed him in front of the boy who was in love with me so the next day in school i got called a whore for the whoel day but then tim came to school ni 8th period adn he amde me stop crying adn he still kissed me goodbye that day i love him soo much adn idkw hat to tell him