i wish it was me

my grandpa broke a rib and he's already very sick. when i heard he was in the hospital my dad took me to see him... he looked fine and i was ok until i saw the IV in his arm...that brought back alot of memories from my cousins death. i hate the hospital i went home and i cried like a baby for hours in my room praying god would take me instead...i used to pray that he would go in peace but i've come to hate myself so much i've become a bit selfish. my uncle died yesterday morning in his sleep he was murdered someone put poison in his food purposely. when i heard i was shocked but i barley knew the man i only know my aunt was very much in love with him and his kids adored him though he was a liar and a cheat and tried to destroy my parents marrage. i hold no sympathy for him only my aunt and her kids. but no matter how hard i try not to think about it i keep wishing it had been me i cried alot yesterday everyone thought it was for him but they dont know what was going through my head... i truly wish it had been me.

Don't wish it was you. It's natural to think that way, but it's not your fault. You did everything you could, and you never knew it was going to happen. I'm sorry to hear about your losses. Keep your head up!

Best wishes,
Danielle :)