If You've ever been depressed.

"oh noo...another depression topic."

damn straight.

I mean, thats what this forum is for, right? It's not like I posted this in "fun and games" forum.

Anywho, This is just something I read on someones site. It's a lot of things that I've always wanted to say, but could never find the right words to explain it. This justifies my depression a little.

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if you've ever been depressed, then maybe you know where I'm coming from. It’s like one minute you’re fine, and the next minute something happens that makes you think -- I mean really think -- and then you’re totally empty. the only thoughts that are in your head are negative and it makes you feel totally alone, like you don't mean anything to anyone. all you want to do is tell someone how you feel, but you don't want their pity, and even if you could tell someone, nothing would come out right. you don't want to laugh or smile, or whine, or argue, or even be stubborn or difficult, you just want to go to bed and cry and hope this feeling passes, and sometimes it does, but it always seems to come back. you think that all your friends hate you and only talk to you because they feel bad for you. you know complete strangers judge you just because of how you look and how you act, and when you think about how you’re not as beautiful as the crowd that surrounds you, it makes you feel even worse. you know how it feels to know that you’re a bad person, to let your friends down and always be selfish, isolated, self conscious, bitter, whiny, and obsessive. you listen to what everyone else has to say, but you never tell them how YOU feel, because that would mean revealing part of yourself, and you just can't do that; you can't let anyone really know you. and your opinion wouldn't matter to them anyway, and most of all if you took the time to sit down and try to get all your feelings out for the first time in your life, it would be completely overwhelming and if anyone ever listened to all of that, they would have to agree with you 100 percent.

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Just something you can think about, discuss, argue against, whatever.

I actually think it's a great post, Coonay...i can relate to a lot of factors in there...

But better days are waiting. You just watch. :)

Peaces. //Ari\\

Coolor, I'm glad you got past that. I thought I had it a month ago. I thought I was done with it. Oh well, just gotta keep trying, right?

Oh yes Ari, I know theres better days, It's just the waiting thats getting to me.

The wait...i know....it's long as hell and i wasn't born with the ability to be patient. :P

But i try...just to keep up.

Peaces. //Ari\\

god you feel like eso much like me i felt like i was reading something i wrote lol weird

yeah, when I was reading it on that site It felt like someone was reading my mind.

*Sighs* Please no offence meant but I get REALLY sick of skinny people complaining how fat they are. *Shakes head* 103 pounds? Well that is something I can only DREAM of so don't complain. Back to the subject at hand that piece of writing was like scary. It's like someone literally took the words out of my mouth.

the reason that what you just read sounds like someone has read your mind or took the words right out of your mouth is because depression is a condition, it's an illness, everyone that has it feels almost the same as everyone else that has it they just don't realise, i have depression thats exactly how i feel and i hate it, and the only real way to stop you from feeling like that is to get medication from your doctor, unless your as unlucky as me because i have doctor who thinks i'm just attenton seeking and he won't give me medication or anything, but anywayz i think this post is brilliant!!! like yeh it is a "sadness and DEPRESSION" forum lolz!!!!
luv RaNdOmGaL xxx

what? no not really, it's sadness, that takes over your mind!
luv RaNdOmGaL xxx

i feel tha exact same way. & i mean i dont kno if u believe in God....but it really helpz....jus sayin.

tak care'

wow.. this is exactly, like 100 percent how I feel!!!! I want so badly to open up to someone.. OMG.... im gonna post this on my blog (of course saying that it was written by someone else!).... I wish my friends could read this, maybe they'd understand me a WHOLE lot better! wow thanks for this GrEaT post.

Yeah i feel like this, but i'm getting good at pretending as though everythings okay.
I used to self harm loads but a load of 'friends' made a big deal about doing it for attention so i had to stop doing it so often.
I hate people who think that, just cos some people do it so it gets them noticed others don't...
xxx ~*~

yeh thats is exactly how i feel.... couldn't put it better myself!!

oh and i did the same as the person above me... when my m8s found out how bad my self harm was they made me feel so stupid i stopped.....tho the scars are still there.... and constatnly remind me of how i felt....

When I first found out I had m.s and I was put on injections I went into a severe depression. I thought about killing myself and even went as far as to take 8 diazapam (nerve pills ) one night but thank god now it didn't hurt me just made me feel really shitty the next day. I once cried for 3 days and couldn't stop (and that's no lie) Then my uncle (whom I was very close to ) passed away and I could swear that he was sending me messages .(still not sure if that was real) I withdrew into my own little world and didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I was also battling with panic attacks at the same time. If anyone has ever had one they can relate to this,it is the scariest thing to go through . You have this scared feeling all the time ,it feels as though your heart is in your throut. One minut I was scared I was going to die and the next I was wishing I would. (weird huh)
One time I was in the line -up at walmart and I got a panic attack and I could swear to God that I thought my lips were swelling (funny now) but back then it was really scary. I couldn't stand to be around alot of people and you feel people are staring at you all the time.Your insides shake until you think you will fall apart .My specialist put me on Paxil and it seemed to make me feel better. I think these conditions were brought on by me founding out I had this disease (M.S ~~Multiple Sclerosis ) I think everyone reacts to trama in their own way .I hope this might have helped