Darien, If You See This, Come Here

Hey Darien... I got your e-mail. I would've written back, but I thought it would be better if we talked here. Drop a message when you get in and I'll be here soon after. I guess I'll talk to you in a few.

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Still not here..? Okay. I'll be in the Friendship forum. Like I said, leave a message and wait for me when you get here and I'll come in to chat. I hope I do get to talk to you tonight.

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Hey Erin..
I'm here.. I just got in. How are you? and how was your day?

I don't know

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hmm.. whats wrong?

I just feel awful... I'm happy to see you, but I my day has just been dismal...

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Was it because of the email I sent? Because if it is, I'm sorry. But you needed to know before anything happened. I don't want to be fake with you. I like you, but I don't know if it could go further than that. I'm not sure if I made it clear in the email.

*nods*

I understand...

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the truth is, I do like. But to have a real relationship. It's not possible, unless we were closer. Plus like I said, I don't know you long enough, and I've never seen a picture of you, or heard your voice.

The same goes for you with me, aside from your picture on your profile and hearing your band play... I just always like to have faith in things... I really likeyou and want to get to know you much better and se how far this can go... It just made me feel bad when you said

I know, but can we take a step back from a relatoinship, and start off with friendship first? That's all I want right now. From there we can let it grow.

i cdnt see tge keybiard veru well rigjt mow. in reallt sprry

I'm really sorry.. and I hope you're not crying or anything. I'm nothing special to cry over. You're not losing me or anything. I'll be your friend. With time things can progress..

Darien... Are you still here..?

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I am..

*Hug* I'm sorry for being an idiot...

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*hugs* it's ok. It's not your fault. Can we start over you think?

I really liked you. Really the first time I ever felt this way about ANYONE... When you told me that you would probably leave me if you found someone at the university, I didn't know what to say, so I just cried. I know there's a lot of distance between us, and not much time has passed, but why would you just throw it away..? Hell, I'd move to Canada if you wanted me too..

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I guess I'm just being selfish. Sorry... [I've never felt so dumb]. Carry on.

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[I think I'll just go crawl in a hole and die now]

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No, I just didn't think it was possible for someone to fall for someone else in a day. That's why I was realyl surprised. I was extremely happy when you asked me. My heart and mind were tangled, and I just answered the question without thinking. I really would love this to work.

So what do you want from me? I want a relationship that I can stay in and be happy, not worrying what's going on in Canada, because I'd know you still loved me and wouldn't leave me for anyone. But those relationships take time. And time is something I'm willing to give. I really like you and want this to work like something more than an average internettie cyber couple. I'd love to just sit here and talk to you tonight and learn more about you. But the ball's in your court.

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Want I want from you, is your friendship. Right now. I know you like me, and I like you too. I've learned a lot about relationships, and I'm not very good with them. But I know it's best not to rush into anything. Especially with the situation we're facing. I want to get to know you, talk to you. Things we can do without seeing eachother. All of this before we can call ourselves a 'couple'. Do you think we can try it ?

...

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Like I said, I'd do anything. [I'm still a bit taken by your e-mail... (my head is still spinning)]

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I want us to be on the same level. Where we can be friends, that share everything and are really close.

I know I'm sorry. I'm not good at explaining things that deal with someone elses heart. I don't want to hurt you, but I want you to know the reality of this. So can we talk like friends do, because I would really like that.

Sure. As friends. What did you want to talk about? [Please something besides this nightmare of a day - I've already had my heart broken, no need to keep grinding it into the floor]

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I really don't know much about you. So if you would like to describe yourself or send me a picture or something. Then you can tell me about what you're doing in College, what you're planning to do with your life. Then you're favourite:

Colour, Number, Food, Place, Tv Show, Music, Band, Singer/Artist, Movie, Song, Book, .. anything you'd like to add.

ok .. well I don't know what else I can say to you right now. So I'm really sorry for hurting you. I never wanted to. I wouldn't dream of hurting someone I liked. But I'm sorry if I did. It's late and I've got work. IF you want, you can email me. It's up to you. I still would love to get to know you. So please, just consider it. Thanks. Have a good night. *kiss* sweet dreams, talk to you later..
take care..

Here's a run down of what i look like:
Hair: Dark brown/black [natural - never touched dye in my life! (Ew)]
Eyes: [Near black] Dark brown
Height: 5' 7"
Build: A few extra pounds, but I'm not huge. I have a lot of muscle from playing sports, too. So it's not all skin, fat and bones. [I have enough muscle in my legs to lift the back end of a pick up truck] *grins*
Other info: I'm your not so average Goth-type girl who loves rock and all things vampyric!

Colour: Black and Red
Number: 13
Food: Anything Italian
Place: My room
Tv Show: I don't watch a lot of Tv, but I like American Idol and I'm trying out for this season
Music: ROCK [duh]
Band: Green Day
Singer/Artist: Green Day
Movie: Lord of the Rings trilogy
Song: "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" Green Day
Book: Anything by Amelia Attwater-Rhodes or Anne Rice

As for college, I am starting at Northern Virginia Community College to get my Associates in Apllied Arts, then transferring to George Mason to finish in a program for Music Production, all while playing with my band and trying to win as many Battle of the Bands concerts as humanly possible to get noticed and maybe get a record deal [barring that American Idol doesn't work out for me]. I love music and writing music. If there wer no such thing as music, I'd die from lack of mental stimulation [What's the use of writing poetry if there is no music to play it to? What's the use of living without a song in your head?]
How about you [barring you weren't answering yourself while I was writing this]?

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