Does any one know the pain of child abuse of any kind? Please an

Hi, My name is Ashley Morris. I have been a victim of child abuse. Emotionally and sexually. I was emotionally abused til I was about 5 1/2 yrs old. Then I was sexually abused when I was 7 for a couple of months. I need to talk to someone who knows the feelings of being scared to tell people and who are ashamed. I know in my heart its not my fault. But my head doesn't want me to "forgive" myself. See, I am also having a problem with forgiving my "mother" who let her "men" beat on my sister and yell at me. If I didn't do something right or nothing at all, I would be yelled at for about 15 minutes to a half hour. But the only thing is, I feel like I was favored over my sister. See, my sister was physically abused. Thats what I blame myself for mostly. Its because In my head I'm always trying to figure ways to prevent what happened. I can't forgive my "mother" because of all the hate that has built up inside of me. I don't know how to get rid of the hate and stop blaming myself. I need help with this. I need someone who understands or someone who won't take pity. Someone who'll at least understand I just need someone to talk to not sympathy or pity. I don't need that. Least of all now. Please someone help me with this. I really need someone to tell me how to forgive Lori, my "mother", or listen and maybe give me some advice on this. . I don't know if its right to feel all the hate I do for her. Am I right to hate her, or is it that i should just be mad at her and forget the hating? I'm confused, angery, upset, and everything else. Please, just please, help me I beg of you. I feel alone in this.

Hey Ashley. Gosh...I'm so so SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry!! You're not alone..no way!! See....I was abused by my father when I was little. Then he stopped but I watched him beat and rape my mom until I was 6. Then we moved out. Anyway, I know what it's like...in ways. Gosh...I'm so sorry!!! Anyway, I'll tell ya more and PLEASE talk to me more. Here's my e-mail, ismene86@comcast.net. If you have AIM my SN is ismene86, my SN for MSN is ismene86@hotmail.com and if you have yahoo my SN is ismene86. lol. Anyway....please...write me and if you have any of those...IM me. You're not alone..and it's NOT your fault....I'm here. I hope to hear and talk to you SOON!!!
Much Love,
Amy

hey like amy said you are not alone. I have never been abused before so i really dont know what its like but just hang in there and try talking to your mom about it see what she thinks maybe that will help you out. ok. and if you need to talk just e mail me at princess13060@yahoo.com
Heather