Does any one know the pain of child abuse of any kind?

Hi, My name is Ashley Morris. I have been a victim of child abuse. Emotionally and sexually. I was emotionally abused til I was about 5 1/2 yrs old. Then I was sexually abused when I was 7 for a couple of months. I need to talk to someone who knows the feelings of being scared to tell people and who are ashamed. I know in my heart its not my fault. But my head doesn't want me to "forgive" myself. See, I am also having a problem with forgiving my "mother" who let her "men" beat on my sister and yell at me. If I didn't do something right or nothing at all, I would be yelled at for about 15 minutes to a half hour. But the only thing is, I feel like I was favored over my sister. See, my sister was physically abused. Thats what I blame myself for mostly. Its because In my head I'm always trying to figure ways to prevent what happened. I can't forgive my "mother" because of all the hate that has built up inside of me. I don't know how to get rid of the hate and stop blaming myself. I need help with this. I need someone who understands or someone who won't take pity. Someone who'll at least understand I just need someone to talk to not sympathy or pity. I don't need that. Least of all now. Please someone help me with this. I really need someone to tell me how to forgive Lori, my "mother", or listen and maybe give me some advice on this. I don't know if its right to feel all the hate I do for her. Am I right to hate her, or is it that i should just be mad at her and forget the hating? I'm confused, angery, upset, and everything else. Please, just please, help me I beg of you. I feel alone in this.

Hey Ashley,
I know what you mean, I have been through hell and back. I would like someone to talk to about it just as much as you.
If you ever want to talk or email I have MSN,
the_creeper666@hotmail.com

Hey ashley,

You are not alone in this, not at all. I can get you in touch with some people that can help if you want, but it's up to you. I was more emotionally abused than physical, but it was some of both. Stay strong baby, it is not your fault. You were a child, there is nothing you could of done. You can talk to me whenever you need to baby, I am around! School counselors are really good at helping with this kind of stuff too, even if it is just to help you heal and feel okay again. They're not all evil, trust me, I might even owe some my life.

-Tainted Mikochan

Sweetheart your not alone....i promise.....i've been sexually abused since i was 11.....it will 5 years in July since it started.....and i was lucky to get out of a rape situation....on many occasions now that i think about it....it is hard to forgive yourself i know...i've become so numb to the pain of it all by now i don't even realise it happens now.....look if you ever want to talk to me my email is wickedlyjods@hotmail.com....

xxKitten

Bob said it. You have to get help, go to the police, your friends, anyone. Trust me, get out of your house and away from your "mother" who continually let this happen to you. Get your sister out of there too, if not you run the risk of it happening again. Hun, i kno you feel ashamed and "its all your fault", but you really need to get somewhere safe. I was abused until my friend found out and dragged me to the police station, and you know what? I've never been happier. If you ever need to talk, pm okay? You'll be in my prayers. take care XXXXX
JL

sweetie, you aren't alone at all. If you need anyone to talk to you can email me. I was sexually abused for 5 years. i kno what you are going through and if you need to talk or vent im here along with everyone else on here

well i know how you feel a few years ago my dad beat me and my twin sister but one nite i went out n when i came home she was dead! we never told the police coz we were scared but we left it 2 late dnt you leave it late aswell my identical twin sister was killed by my dad that nite n i will never get over it i went to the police and had to testify and everything and my dad was sent to jail for killing my sister please get help.i think u sed something about being sexually abused i dnt know how that feels but certainly physical abuse i do n it kill my sister n she was my best friend aswell! please anyone who is being abused by their paretns or anyone get help as soon as yuo can!
luv drex

well it does effect every one who has experienced it like i still am tormented by the thoughts even tho my dad's in jail for it but even if ur dad only hit u once he shudn't have done it at all!
luv ya dre xxx

i think there are actually many people who experience child abuse... i'm 16 and i still get abused by my parents verbally and emotionally... they try to control my life even though they know absolutely nothing about me...

i can kind of relate, but i'm the one that isn't favoured (its chinese tradition to always favour boys, its even worst if you have a younger brother, which is the same in my case..)

as a child, i was physically abused as well and was completely isolated from everything, i had no friends until i got into high school... and before high school, my parents would take their stress out on me by taking a really flexible stick and beat me for hours with it... it doesn't break your bones or anything, but it stings like crazy and it bruises, i used to wear turtle necks and long pants everyday no matter what season it is to cover the bruises

but i don't think you are right or wrong in hating her, its a feeling you feel, there is no wrong or right. but remember even if you hate her she is still your mother no matter what, i hate my parents too, but i can't do anything about it except piss them off.

i'm not an extremely smart person, but i do ok in school, i want to get into a good university and become a teacher, but my parents don't believe that education doesnt make sure that people would be successful(both of them did not finish high school and are not 'school people', but they still expect me to be 'perfect' and get almost straight A's and have lots of extra time to help them)

I don't agree with that and my parents don't understand, and this becomes a source of where most of verbal abuse is from, especially because that if i'm not at school or chinese school, i'm either doing homework or studying or sleeping. i hardly spend anytime to focus on my moms business since i also don't believe that its right to make a profit of 500% of the cost... she makes me help her with her stuff even if im doing homework or studying, but rarely i will help her or watch tv or go out with my friends..

anyways.. .i guess sometimes its because of misunderstanding and miscommunication... i can't tell my parents anything... i've been dating someone online for 8 months now(i get to see him occasionally in rl), and my parents are on to me since they don't know about him and i know they will try to kill me if they found out before i can always be around my boyfriend, but if it wasn't for him, i'd be dead long ago

-kelsie

sweetie,
you arent alone you can already see that from the number of people that have replied to your topic
if you want to chat to me i can help you
if you have msn add me or email me
lil_miz_dumb_blond@hotmail.com
~pip xoxo

aww! *hugs*

my mom always is telling me child abuse stories from her work to scare me b/c she doesnt notice that she's killing me on the inside too. my mom works for CPS. my dad is lazy and starves us when mom isnt home and when moms home her short temper erupts n stuff. this is the 3rd day in a row ive cried in the morning. its horrible because she tries to make me feel pathetic.

but *hugs* dont ever feel like it's ur fault. when life gives u lemons, catch em and throw em back =) :D

ill always b here. if u have yahoo, im

cherryblossom_star

and my email is

shoujo_star@myway.com

if you ever need a shoulder, you can lean on me! :)

hey i know the feeling i was abused quite alot physically and sexually, if you would like to talk to me about it you can

candi_howell37@hotmail.com

or

candiecane1989@yahoo.com