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A while ago I made a list of everything I wanted in a boyfriend. My mom and i laughed about it for a long time. I'm fortunate to have a mom I can talk to. I met a guy about three months ago that met almost every point on my list. It was pretty freaky. Of course i fell for him, and him for me. Problem: I didn't know how old he was...I never really cared. He is 20. I am 16. My mom won't let me date him. I was sad for the longest time, and I decided to try to find things about him that I didn't like so it wouldn't be so hard to let him go...but I can't find anything that I don't like. He is fun to be around, and he always makes me feel good about myself. I don't know what to do. How do you be friends with someone that you have stronger feelings for? What can I do with my extra feelings?

Thank you both! I know my mom has my best interest in mind, and i fully respect her decision. She has met him, and she likes him very much. She wants us to stay friends, and I believe it is because she knows he won't keep an interest in me...I'm pretty sure she is right. I've been hurt a lot and it hurts her to see me hurt. It's just hard for me not to like him as more. He will be interested in someone older soon enough. We've talked about it (him and I). He was disappointed that we could be friends..but I told him I didn't want to stand in the way of any other girls he would be interested in. That was hard for me...I still don't know how to "play down" my feelings for him.

Nothing happened between the two of us! I don't know where the whole rape thing came from. My mom just doesn't want me to date older guys. I am okay with that. The problem is what to do with those feelings. I would keep them and let them build up, but it will get hard for me...most guys won't want to wait for a girl. I know he doesn't like me that much. If I don't find some way to not feel so strongly for him, I will always be jealous of the other girls he finds interest in. I hate to feel jealous. I am not really a jealous person...I find it a stupid and useless emotion. But sometimes I do feel jealous. I don't want to feel that for the next few years of my life. If he is the one I know things will work out...but in the mean time I need to deal with my feelings...

Four years isn't a big difference-- when it's 32 and 36 or something like that. Twenty and sixteen really is farther away, maturity levels or not. You'll find another guy closer to your age.

Thank you all. I'm not having a problem seeing why my mom said no. I know there is a large age/maturity difference between us...as well as he has had more life experience. My problem is how to get over him. I'm doing better I think..but i really need some ideas on how to just be friends with someone that you like as more.