FUNNY LISTS!!!!

how to freak out your room mate...

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."

9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer.

only in america...

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Im getting these offa a jokes site...just so you know i didnt make them up...

How to work for min. wage...by me.

1. Fail school, who needs college? WOO
2. Party all the time, who cares about grades?
3. Dont even take your SATs, just draw flowers and hearts!
4. Tell your principal that your going to blow up the school, every month so you get suspended.
5.Drop out of HS when your 16.
6. Apply to work at the Levi factory.
YOUVE GOT IT MADE!

"1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering"

1-9 happen in UK aswell!

Not sure if only in Quebec (Canada)

#1 You can buy your beer at the convience store (right beside the bread isle )

#2 You can legally drink at 18 but drive 30 seconds down the road ( cross the border to Ontario ) and get charged for underage drinking

#3 Buy a car in quebec ( drive it) buy a car from another province or state and have to safety it .... (what the hell sense does that make )

#4 Write everthing in French so no one knows what the F*** they're talking about

#5 Hire 15 year olds to sell beer and cigarettes at stores but you can't buy it till your 18

WARNING
ONLY IN FRANCE

1) Try to discribe a giant pink elephant with behemouth ears, a mini trunk, one big eye and one small eye, and humoungous teeth that you saw stomping down the street two houses away without using your hands. (And try using measurments in your description)

2) Take three pictures of your roommates best 3 outfits, and take two pairs of their favorite shoes that they cant afford that you own, then show them how good they look together, and the next time they ask to borrow them, tell them you threw them they fell down the shredder, but that you still have the laces.

ahahahahhahhahaha thats so funny

dude, I love the roommate one. I wish I had a roommate. I'm very attracted to number six due to its random harmlessness.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

I LOVE THE ROOMMATE LIST!! HAHAHA!!!!!

//Ari\\