I need major help/advice, please answer me

hey about a year ago i got sexually assulted and didnt tell anyone, a couple monthes later he did it again, and i was forced to tell my mom, and the police, well hes doing the same thing again, saying we should hang out, I know he hasnt changed but a part of me is longing to be friends again, because he was a friend of the family, Im terrified to death, and so confused, my b/f knows what happened, when I freaked out on him once, and its interrfired alot in our relationship, i want to tell my b/f that he is contacting me agian, should I tell him, since he wants to beat him up, or should I keep quiet Im afraid if i dont say anything this time he actually will rape me
what should I do

um, before telling your boyfriend I thnk you should contact the police... don't you have a restraining order on this guy?

hes not in jail because they have no proof and he told them that it was a mutual agreement. the thing is, is that my mom doesnt know it happened twice she only knows about the one time, that I told the cops about, my b/f knows its happened twice, after I freaked out on him, and he wanted an explanation. Im afraid to talk to my mom about it, because on top of that she may make me talk to a councelor and I dont want that eirther because I dont want to talk to a professional about it, cuz then my poems and my cutting will be brought up in it

sigh.

okay so here is the low down on what you should do:

fuck your cutting, go to a professional councillor. I don't think you have any idea how much being sexually assaulted can mess you up for the rest of forever, especially if you don't get professional help. do a big favor to yourself and your boyfriend and anyone you care about (along with anyone you might care about in the future) and GET HELP.

next on the list:
go to the police. tell them everything. EVERYTHING. The truth will set you free, and quite frankly if you tell them you're worried for your safety and they refuse to do something, then they aren't doing their jobs, and you can feel free to sue the entire police department.

no but I already got in trouble for them before, I cant stand this, I dont even want to sleep, cuz I know I'll have my night terrors only they will be worse, cuz if i made him upset he might do it again or worse, Im so scared, i dont know what to do, I feel like wherever I go he can see me

umm i'm confused..why would you want to see him again?! talking of experience no matter how close you are it's there in your brain...the closer the worse maybe even because you were more betrayed.
tell someone for sure though..that's if you decide to see him again etc..
take care x x x

okay to answer some questions, I want to see him again because we had been friends for years b4 he ever did anything, I guess i just miss being friends with him I use to look up to him like my own brother. I dont know, i told him we couldnt hang out anymore

First of all he is not a friend if he did this to you ...Call the authorities right away cause he is just BAD news .

id say to tell your boyfriend and stay away from the guy who did that to you....i have been sexually assulted too and it is a big mess when everything goes on like that so just stay away...dont try to repair friendships bc a realy friend wouldnt do that to you...luv yas mwah and i hope eveyrthing is okay

-kayla-

I know I should probably tell someone, but I dont know if I can go through telling someone what happend just thinkin bout happened still makes me sick to my stomach

I've been seriously thinkin bout talking to a professional. This has seriously messed up my life, the second time this has happened. I thought after the second time my life would be okay, since it was okay the first time, maybe if I hadnt told the police, maybe it would be okay

First up, don't tell your bf just yet, cause it just might freak him out in to doing something stupid, I know I would. YOu should tell the police and your mother first. It is essencial that your mom know's what's going on, and that the cops know what he's up to.
Also, you're mom deserves to know the whole thruth. This would also make it easier for her to help protect you against him.

Think about it. And if you feel like this is becoming too much stress for you to handle, you should talk to a proffecional. Don't allow this situation to hold back on your life.
Good luck

sexual assault can lead to cutting to begin with. now if you want to be around this guy dont... its not worth it. i was molested at 12 then raped at 19 so look u dont need it, it is something that stays with u forever.
as far as thye cutting goes... thats not a good thing, hun there are other ways. i have a great website that u can look at! it helped me alot... and police wont do shit as far as conviction but tell them everything now and if he tries it again they will know u complained about it now and u will look better in court (hopes it doesnt come to that) if u ever need to chat just let me know! :)

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Abuse/lisk/index.html

I checked out the website, i was reading some of the stories, compared to them mine seems so minor, I dont see why im so afraid, and so hurt, they have been fine, and here i am wanting to cut, and sleeping with knives by my bed, and having night terrors, i just wish things would get better, i feel so helpless, and so hopeless, everytime something gets better something gets worse,

know exactly wat you mean. and no-one's here to help me

yeah torn it doesnt help when you get bashed on eirther

Someone stated he needs to die...
I think that is very hostile of you...and I'm guessing you're American.
No one needs to die for what they did.
No one at all, they should sit in solitude and root for what they did...have to think about what they did over and over. Like jail now, a very long time out. With consequences after wards.
Everyone should be allowed to have a second chance.
You would want one wouldn't you?

.... i have no opinion on this!.....

lol Ryan, at the American comment. Anyways, I actually agree with your opinion on this. It is not necessary for someone to die for their mistakes. I also agree that they should be punished, severely, but death is not the answer.

Kalika

i think you meant rot ryan...not root?!
umm yeh bashers aren't of any help if they just 'bash'...
and no no-one should die for their mistakes...although i'm sure when you're angry that's all you want to happen...even if that person was really close.
take care all x x x

anyhow, yeah we broke up so its not possible for me to tell him hes an ass anyways

Good.

hey thanks for being here for me, im talking to my mom about seeing a professional about the night terrors from that night, and i told the dude to no longer email me

Omg, my sister doesnt believe me, and told me i was a sick freak for accusing him of doing that to me. when she over heard me and my mom talking about it, my sister told everyone that i had made it up, and that i was a sick freak. I understand that they were friends we all were friends with him. its not the fact that she doesnt trust me i have no support

yeah but its different me and her use to be so freaking close, i miss having that bond with her and she doesnt even want to look at me,

ewie...

Stinky boys and their testostorone (sp?)

when my family found out about it. they said i couldve done something, im a whore, blah blah blah.
dont listen to them. they werent there, they didnt have to go through this.
maybe she just has trouble dealing with it. dont let her bother you hun!
i let it bother me and it didnt get me anywhere, excpet in the hospital for a suicide attempt. dont go there... ever. things will always change and get better, as trivial as that sounds...

yes sometimes your story may seem minor to thiers, but it helps u to know that it could always be worse. be thankful for what u have now. dont feel guilty for your feelings. its fine to have them. but u have to control them, otherwise they will control you. if u let that happen then he wins. rape is all about control. dont let him have the satisfaction, hes not worth it. he hurt you yes, but u can overcome this!!! keep your head up!
*hugs*

Yeah i guess so, My life feels so different from what it use to be. Nothing ever seems to go right. Like I can't trust any guy to be with me alone, and Im almost 17. I hate the fact that I havent been able to go on a date, without freaking out in over a year and a half. I hate that my ex got mad at me, because he thought I couldnt trust him not to hurt me, I want to learn to trust guys again but im still afraid of being hurt again.

the fear may never go away. but for the most part u have to learn to trust again. but do so in a safe way. dont be alone in a car with a guy until u really know him, go to well lit public areas so on. just dont feel guilty this sint your fault. but that doesnt mean u can use it as an excuse to do bad things to yourself!

Ok Im slightly confused. Why do you want to be friends with someone who you think might rape you? :S Trust me I know what you're going through. I was sexually assaulted by a guy lots of time in the space of about a year. I never told anyone because he moved away but my advice is just forget about him and dont try and contact him ever again.

posted twice. oopsie :)

thats fine
about being friends, its kinda a weird feeling, i guess i just miss being friends with him, we've been friends for soooooo long, like years before, he did anything, after the first time I didnt think he'd do it again, and he did, i thought i'd be fine if i didnt do anything or say anything, and now since i have, my life has turned upside down, i feel like such a freak, not being able to trust anyone.

Why not get a restraining order against him though he is a friend of the family. All you have to do is explain to your family that that guy hurt you once and again so you dont want him to hurt you but as far as your bf tell him so he could help you. He's your bf, of course his first reactions would be to kill that guy but its a reaction. I dont think your bf would kill him cause that would mean he'd have to leave your side.

if ur bf can protect u, tell him. also if u love him,tell him. he needs to know.

my mom doesnt think its right to punishmy sisters from seeing him, because he hasnt "tried" anything with my sisters, i believe differently! but who knows, im just hoping he wont come back around and hurt me again!

Is it wrong when you are afraid of any guy now? im afraid to even get close to my close guy buds

I can understand you not wanting your sisters to see him. If he did it to you, whats to stop him trying to do it to them? I'm not sure if you have told your mum and your sisters the entire story, and I know how hard it is re-telling the story but maybe it will be a little therapeutic (sp?) Also, if you tell them the entire story maybe your sisters won't want to see him anyway. Oh and your sister might be angry at you now, she's probably just shocked that someone she trusted could do that, which leads to denial. Hopefully she'll come around.

It's totally understandable to be afraid of all guys, but you have to realise that its a small minority of guys like that jerk that give the rest of them a bad name. I know what you mean (the same kind of happened to me, my best guy friend sexually assualted me not too long ago) It doesn't hurt to be wary about who you trust, but it sucks that you feel afraid to get close to your friends. When you're around them just remember that they aren't all like that. I don't know if that will help you trust them, maybe being wary is a good thing? If your guy friend knew about it, I'm sure they would be appalled and angry that someone could do that to you, I know my friends were.

Well hope that helped. :)

the friend of mine that i had for seven years raped me about a year ago. i saw him yesterday. i did way better than i thought i would. look i understand the missin of the relationship, but its better this way. it was so awesome to be able to look him in the face. he came in with his g/f and was all kissin her and i laughed because he was tryin to make me jealious.... umm guy i hate to tell ya but i hate u for what u did and i dont care who u date or if u live....

Yeah, go Fire Angel! People like him aren't even worth a glance, breath or second of your time. You sound like a strong person, so more power to ya! :)