i just cant take it anymore

i know ive posted topics like this before but its just driving me crazy...yes my ex and all this shit, i hate it guys just wanna be with girsl who put or are hot...what ever happened to wanting to be with someone for whats on the inside i mean really?? it seems like every guy ive liked this year is either liking a chick waaaaaay younger than them or like a chick older...like me ex he's going out with and 8th grader...and he's a fucking junior..and this other junior guy he likes this freashmen chick and this senior like this sophmor, ahh god i dont get...idk i guess this is all just jealousy, but i still care so much for my ex, and i hate that i want to let go of him i really do...but i cant whenever i try to it blows up in my face and i wind up wanting to be with him again, but than again maybe apart of me doesnt want to get over him...its really like this...i do want to be with him....but at the same time, after all this shit he's done and after all the times he's made me cry i dont know if its worth it again...however despite the times he made me cry..i forgave him and forgave...does that mean he something special...or im just stupid ( i think im gonna go with stupid lol) but seriously, all of this everything is jsut scambling through my head and none of it is making sense...really if any of you, has any advice what so ever any kind will do...thanks bunches

There are some nice guys out there...it just takes time to find one!! A lot of girls have had the same problem, but you know what? Age is only a number. Whatever....ok...so I find it a little wrong that he's dating an 8th grader....but whatever.....you're not going to be able to find anyone else if you don't close your heart to him, and open your heart to others!! I really think that maybe...this is all about jealousy...sorry.