Slightly depressed. I could use some advice, please.

Okay, so I'm not usually a depressed person. Nor am I usually a person to share my problems with others. But I think that I could use some advice. I ask that you keep your comments appropriate and with the topic. Don't fling derogatory terms at me or other people in this post, please.

The last week or so, maybe a couple weeks, I have been slightly depressed. It has been getting worse as time progresses. The woman I love was supposed to be coming up to visit me and meet my folks over Labor Day weekend. I live in Idaho and she lives in southern California. She couldn't come up because of financial problems. That is when it started, I believe. As you probably figured, living so far apart severly cuts down the time we get to see one another. I was really looking forward to it. I understand why she couldn't come and I can accept it. We keep in touch over the internet and by phone whenever we can. But, for a while now, I have been having a hard time getting ahold of her by phone (she has a lousy phone and reception). Sometime I might call her all day long, and she would never get any of my calls. I've also noticed that she hasn't been calling me as much, even though she knows I have a hard time getting ahold of her. This is the main reason I feel depressed, I believe. I can't help but feel that she doesn't seem to think about trying to get ahold of me anymore. When I try this hard to get in contact with her, and she doesn't seem to even try, it makes me feel hurt. But even though I know that she cares and loves me, I can't stop my own insecurities from cropping up and making me feel insignificant. It's gotten to the point where I become depressed even when I do talk to her. I'm starting to worry myself, not to mention her.

That's my little problem. Oh, yes. I ask that you keep comments about long distance relationships not working out of this. I don't particularly care about your opinions on if they work or not. I also ask that you keep comments such as "Oh, are you sure you really love her?" and such stuff like that out of it, also. I know that I love her and I know that she loves me.

Thank you in advance if you bother to give advice on my problem.

well i think the best thing is to try and get ahold of her so you can talk about this. but if you cant get ahold of her and she hasnt called you....then, obviously she doesnt care that much. i mean if she did, she WOULD CALL right?

well good luck with you

Since I respect your requests, and you know you love her and she loves you (For these things you can surely tell) and that long relationships *do* work, for I'm in the exact same place as you. Sometimes they don't, but sometimes magical things happen. :) Now, my answer is not advice, as much as it is a comment so, here it is:
You're becoming depressed for other reasons, but since she's been in your life so long, you believe it is her. I didn't bother to check your profile, so I don't know your age, but maybe school is getting hectic or work if you're older...maybe you have low self esteem and a lot of stress..But that's what really started it. Not her...you're just getting worried that she'll leave you since you can not see her. I know you don't want to hear that and You'll deny it, but think about it...and be honest...you at least think she's cheating on you some of the time. Maybe it's you cheating, (with all respect).
Basically, I'm saying you're becoming depressed because of something else, and the long distance relationship is adding to it. (Meaning it'll be harder for you to trust her)...but just camly talk to her on msn (since the phone connection is bad, make sure she knows what your talking about and not turn it into something else...) and tell her how much you love her and how much you know she loves you...and learn to trust. For trusting is the key to love and happiness....

Good Luck

Forever I Shall Remain,
Sheena - xDarkSuicidex

Mmmm..I meant to add that you can add me or email anytime if you would like to talk further; I hope all goes well.... -
shaward_27_483@hotmail.com
darkangel6215@yahoo.com
RestingSuicide@aol.com
Take care and the best of luck..

Sheena,

Although I appreciate your comment, you are quite insightful for one so young (I realize that you aren't that much younger than I, but I find that most people aren't as empathic as I), I must tell you that what you said is wrong. The reason I became depressed, and the main reason I am depressed, is because I didn't get to see her. I'm not in school, currently inbetween jobs, I don't have low self-esteem, and I lead a generally stess-free lifestyle. She personally isn't the reason for my depression, more like the lack of her. I'm never worried that she will leave me, though I do wonder sometimes as to why she is with me in the first place. I have thought that she might be cheating on me, but that was early in the relationship. I know now, and I knew it then, that they were unfounded and foolhardy. As for me cheating, I do admit to being flirtatious, but that is because I am normally a gregarious person. She flirts as well, and we both understand and know that it doesn't and never will mean anything. But as for me actually cheating, banish the thought. To bring her that kind of pain would kill me, and I'm not entirely sure that I mean that figuratively. I know that I need to talk to her about this, I'm just not sure as how to go about doing so. I don't want to sound as if I'm complaining or as if I'm demanding that she call me or anything. I also don't want her to feel obligated to do something for me just because I want it. We have a very good relationship and we are open with one another. But she has so much on her mind right now and I don't want to burden her with my own personal demons.

Once again, thank you for your sincere and insightful post.

Timothy Bledsoe.

I just recently moved to Texas from my homeland in the caribean, and I have had to leave all my family, friends, and the one girl I love the most behind. I miss her like hell, and I also have plenty of problems getting a hold of her. She very seldom calls me, but still, I have no doubts she is still deeply in love with me. See, love is all about trust. If you trust that she loves you, there will e no problems. Problems start when you have doubts. If you have doubts, you should find a way to contact her, even if it means by mail, and talk to her about what has been going trough your mind. Solve the prolem by taking a step forward, cause stikking with a frozen plan, you won't solve anything.
good luck

Timothy Bronswinkel

timothy, first off, I dealt with the same thing, and long distance relationships are hard, i dont know about your age, but maybe if you guys are young, she just really not that into a serios relationship, just be honest with her