I'm In a Relationship, And I Need Some Help♥

Ok I Don't Want To Sound Like a Typical Whining Teen...But I'm Having a Relationship Problem...This Is My Story...

I'm Currently The Girlfriend Of Derrick, And I'm An Outgoing Person With Dreams, Derrick Has a Baby On The Way And He Told Me He Had Dreams, But Now He Isn't So Sure About The Future, He Has a Drug Problem And a Drinking Problem, He Feels As If Drugs Help Him Sleep, Think, Be Himself, And All Sorts Of Things...He's Dependant Upon Weed...I Don't Drink I Don't Smoke, But He Said He's Going To Make Sure I Start....I'm Going Somewhere In My Life, I Have This Horrible Feeling Derrick Isn't, He Claims He Wants To Change And Yet He Wont Change His Drug Problem, I'm Scared For Him....And I'm Scared For The Baby Thats On Its Way In a Couple Months, Hes Not a Stable Father Figure At This Point And Time...I Love Him And I Want To Help Him So Bad, If I Had Any Money To Give Him Right Now I Would, Just For The Baby Or Maybe He Could Save Up For a Car, But Deep In My Heart I Know He Would Use The Money For Drugs....I Love Him...But Should I Leave Him Alone? -I'm So Confused xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

The Above Paragraph May Contain Severe Spelling Mistakes, Please Ignore Them And Focus On The Problem At Hand :) Thank-u

Ahh... I say ditch him. If he wants you to start smoking or drinking or doing drugs, then DROP HIM. Is the mother of the child he's having reliable? I hope so, because if not, that kid is going to have a messy future...

I'm shocked!! Why? Because from what I know of you on this site, Nikki, you are a giving, caring, smart and genuinely good person. You deserve someone with the same qualities and values that you have, not someone like this who would lead you through a life of drama, misery and shattered hopes and dreams. From your own description, this is a guy who has multiple self-induced problems and takes no responsibility for his own life or anyone else. When you say he has a baby on the way, I assume you mean he knocked up some other chick who means nothing to him now and he is not even willing or capable of supporting the child he fathered. He would be treating you the same way if you were in the pregnant mother’s shoes.

I've said it many times, but keep this in mind: People just are what they are, no matter how much we wish they would just be different. When you choose to be with someone, you have to accept them as they are. It is extremely difficult for people to change in any fundamental way. You know your brain is already telling you what is the right thing to do. So don't let yourself be ruled by foolish emotional whims that will ultimately bring you harm and hurt.

You seem to be a person with a big heart, Nikki, but getting involved with someone for the sake of rescuing them from their own problems is an almost sure-fire way of messing up your own life. And as far as avoiding ways of messing up your life, I have one further suggestion:

http://tinyurl.com/8kkhl

I understand that things like this are never easy to deal with. And I do wish you all the very best. You deserve it.

I suggest you just forget about him. I know it's hard, and I know you want to help, but he won't change. You deserve better than someone who will try and convince you to smoke and drink. A lot better.

Lydia: Thanks So Much For The Kind Things You Said *Hugs* And Your Adivce Spoke To My Heart Jamie: Your Right, I Should Just Forget About Him And It Will Be Hard, Thanks Shadow Poet: I Couldn't Agree With You More! I've Heard My Own Mother Tell Me That...So I Guess Its Time I Start Listening ♥Big Thanks To Everyone Who Took The Time To Hear Me Out And Share Their Advice (I Don't Take It Lightly) *With All My Love* xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

Just forget about him... if he hasn't changed yet, he won't... especially if he says that he's gonna make sure you start drugs... Go on with your life without him... Don't help him unless you help him into a rehab facility... because that's what he needs.... he can't rely on drugs for the rest of his life. If he can't give up drugs, then he's a bum and doesn't deserve to have such a loving and caring person such as you in his life.
~BJ~

well i have a different opinion...i think u should give him some time...i mean look...let me tell you my story...me and my baby Marco have been together since april but i know him for 4 yrs. i mean he has had a prob. with drinking and drugs...but he said he'd change...and he said "'yeah baby...sure" and i didn't believe him so i helped him and stood by his side and he changed...maybe yours can too...he has to change 4 the baby...keep that in mind

Thanks Once Again! Those Are Some Powerful Views...I Will Take All Of The Advice, Sort Through The Parts I Think I Should Use And Throw Away And Make Some Decisions...I'm Glad To Know Its Good Hearted People In The P&Q Famliy Thats Willing To Help *Kisses Of Appreciation* xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

Hey Im was dating a guy for 2 years with a drinking problem and he couldnt go without weed! Look my friends have told me so many times to leave him and move on and that he will only take me down with him. He isnt any good for you and its best if you move on babes if hes going to try to hold you back from your dreams then you need better. You need someone that will help you make your dreams come true darlin! I have gotten away from my ex and im doing alot better and meeting alot nicer guys and they are going somewhere besides the beer store and the drug dealers house.....You need better you really do, if you wanna talk you can email me k....casey1230@hotmail.com you can email anytime i understand what u are going tho... good luck xxxxx

UPDATE!: Today Derrick Tryed To Force Me To Have Sex With Him After I Told Him NO! He Grabed Me By My Wrist Really Tight And Procedded To Pull Me Inside The Mens Restroom....After I Let Go And Fled The Bathroom He Grabed My Wrist Again Really Tight And Tryed To Pull Me In The Womens Restroom...Its Officialy Over For Me....No One Will Force Me To Participate In Sexual Contact I'm Unwilling To Play A Part In (Thanks You Guys) xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

ew!!!!!

KICK HIM IN THE BALLS!!

RALLY!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

LET US CASTRATE HIS PATHETIC, USELESS WEINER!!

ITS NOT LIKE HE SHOULD EVER DESERVE THE PRIVELEGE TO USE IT!!

My 2 Very Best Friends Told Me I Should Have Hit Him And Kicked Him In His Penis...But I Know I Couldn't Have Hit Him Without Him Attacking Me.....xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

drugs....ive had alot of experience, i used for quite some time, deep inside i cared about people i loved but, it was deep deep in there, i didnt give a shit about anything but drugs, i was dependant on weed also, its usually not an addictive drug but if you have problems such as anxiety depression or stuff like that your self medicating and you love how layed back you are, ive been in rehab for 7 months and i just barely got the point, it makes sense, he needs professional help, at this point love cant change anything drugs are so powerful, i know its hard but maybe talk to a professional see what you can do to put him in a treament center, this baby that is coming is in danger, i know because my bro in law was also like me, he isnt there for my sister or my neice, if you love him, help him professionally, even if you have to call the police, or child protected services, he may be mad for a while but if he get how he is ruining his life, he will be so thankful for you helping him out i promise if you need anything else e-mail me at chickensrgreat@hotmail.com, i could tell you alot more oh by the way , the fact he wants you to start it, dont put yourself through that shit, im an addict and i will have this disease for the rest of my life and it is the hardest thing, dont put yourself through this, sometimes you gotta take care of yourself first before others, you sound like me, im a care taker i put others before me but sometimes its not such a good idea, my ex wanted me to start doing extasy with him, luckily i was smart enough that if he really cared, he wouldnt want me to do harmful things to my body, its pretty much a slow suicide