love issues.. can anyone help?

well.. i've come here before with a problem.. and some of you helped to make me feel better, so im here to try again..

my boyfriend and I recently broke up, we have several times before but we always got back together.. but I think this time is the final time.. and its really eating me up inside.. we've been together for about 9 months.. with a few break ups along the way, its like he was toying with me the entire time.. i know he wasn't doing it on perpose.. but thats how it seems, im left feeling worthless.. thinking maybe I don't deserve love.. everytime I'm happy with someone it all crashes down.. I lost everything I ever loved.. It may seem obsessive of me to break down like this.. but he was my world.. I can't eat. I can't sleep.. All I can do is cry.. is the meaning of life to suffer? I can't even really turn to my friends.. they all have someone they love, they call me either pathetic or just don't understand.. i'm happy they have someone and that their happy.. but it just hurts knowing that I can never have what they do.... am I just being selfish? i'm completely lost... what do I do? can I stop the pain?..

I understand that...
but I don't really respect myself.. and i'm far from love.. i'm sorta just stuck at this point.. I know its going to hurt for a while because he was my everything.. everytime we break up.. it hurts more then the last.. it just shatters my hope all over again so I loose more and more confidance.. that leaves me feeling helpless.. disliking myself for being so weak.. so I love myself even less..

i know how you feel i feel the same way too...... accept me and my ex had never broken up, and when he broke up with me iit was a horrible suprise..{yea. i know your probably thinking..shut up little girl your only 14 and you dont understand..}but i went through allot with this boy we were together 4 2 years and 2 months.. since we were in the 6th grade i know his whole family and they all considered me as family too..it really hurt me to have to just stop talking to them..i miss them all and i love him so much..after all that time we were together after he broke up with me..we got together with one of my friends...that hurt me even more...
but right now im sort of learning to let him go..
i tell myself its his lost and he wont ever find ne1 to replace me and he knows it and admitts it...
i really hope you learn the same...and you should love your self gurl..as much as you love him...

ok love always,,
me!
i

im sorry i messed up....... =/

he got together with one of my friends...that hurt me even more...