would you be so kind as in giving me your thoughts?

ok well to make a long story short. i was with this guy who i feel in love with, but my parents did like us dateing so we broke up and are still really good friends. but i want to be with him and he wants to be with me and i am only 17 so i cant do what ever i want.
the both of us dont have any idea what to do. and all day and night all i want to do is be with him. could you give me you thoughts should i find a way to be with him or listen to my parents??? and if you say find a way then let me know if you have an idea on what way that could be..... thanks for all who help

It's hard to draw any conclusion without knowing a little more detail. There are some pieces missing here. Why did your parents want you to stop dating this guy? How old is he and how long were you dating?

I assume your parents have your best interest in mind. But normally, at 17 it would seem like you should be able to exercise your own judgment about who you are seeing.

I think find a way to be with him if you have to defy your parents for someone you love and want to be with then go do it. Im going through the same thing with a relationship im in and thier mom doesnt agree with it and we broke up and now i dont' think i have a shot in hell but if i did if there was a way i would take it. So go for it

now my parents dont what me with him b/c they say his's controling but he;s not i dont think my parents ever gave him a chance. and they say he's not right for me. oh and b/c he stands up to my dad and is not scared to tell him what he thinks. and my ex boyfriend is 18 now and was then. he be 19 soon and he getting a place of his own with his best friend and he said i could move in with the 2 of them when i turn 18 if i wanted to. now i have known him for a lil more then a year now we were with each one another for 2 months. and i think thats the other reason why my dad didnt want me with him he thinks i fell in love to fast well the fact is i liked him the first day i met him and everyday after that i liked him more then told him and he asked me out.... i just dont know what to do i am so in love with him but i know what happend with my brother when he picked a girl they didnt like but i mean now they are mairred and everything good with my parents and my brother. but i know how they felt and i seen what it did to them.. but should i pick there happyness over mine... i am so sad all the time b/c of this and my ex keep telling me to be happy and i dont know how to all i want is to be with him... idk plz help me

thanks so much for your help .. if anyone else has a point on it would you plz let me know

It would be hard to offer you anything better than the above advice from Cyndi. Her own personal experience is very compelling, even though her ex had some very obvious problems to begin with. I believe that you have to accept someone exactly as he/she is. What you see is what you get. It is unreasonable to expect anyone to change in a way that is going to eliminate their faults or alter their character.

Anyway, you said that your boyfriend stood up to your dad. If he simply had a difference of opinion with your dad that he discussed in a calm, reasoned manner, that is probably a good sign. But if he expressed his difference of opinion by getting argumentative, angry or confrontational, that is probably a red flag. Like Cyndi, I would also urge you to try and do a thorough, objective and open minded analysis of your boyfriend’s character and behavior to see if you can determine anything that might reflect a controlling nature.

The following web site may be of help.

http://www.ou.edu/womensoc/healthy-relationships.htm

thanks guys. and i will be sure to look more for them sings. and now when he had the talk with my dad not one of them was yelling i was in the next room and i didnt really hear anything. in till my dad told him to never come back and see me and dont ever call me. i dont know .. i am check out that site now. thank you very much

go against your parents duh

anyone else have any thoughts? this is a big thing in my life i want to make a mistake and you all letting me know what you think would help. i love my parents and i love my ex boyfriend, and my parents are not always going to be there and i know that sooner or later i am going to have to make a life of my own. but well i am not happy now i feel so drepressed and sad all the time. and i am not with him now to please my parents, but should i give up my happyness to pleas them, i am mean i am so thankful for all they have giving me but i have to grow up and if i was in there shoes i would only want the best for my child i would want them happy. even if i think it's a mistake on there part and when they would fall i would pick them up. but i guess thats easer said then done, i know they only want the best for me and i cant thank them enough for that, but i hurt so much now and when i with him everythings diffrent i am happy till i come back to reaitly and remember " he's not mine" i have a year to do a lot of thinking it's been 5 months now and i still only want him.. but i am not sure he would wait another 10 months. i wish he would but i cant ask him of that, ... how many of you think this quote is true??? " if you love someone let them go and if they come back then you had them from the start and if they don't you never did".. i mean true love always finds away right ??? idk help it you want anythign would help

If you have concluded that your bf is NOT a controlling type of person, maybe you could try talking to your parents and discussing your feelings. You could tell them that you have explored the issues regarding his being too controlling in the way they have claimed. Show them the web site cited above as an indication that you seriously put some effort and time into this and you didn’t just come up with a rash decision that conveniently fits your objective. Be sure to explain that the purpose of that web site is to help young women AVOID abusive relationships.

It seems as though your parents may be overly protective, but doing something that would cause a major conflict with them should be a very last resort. Sometimes it can be effective to talk to each parent separately. Let them know that you love them and that it means everything to you to resolve this with them and to avoid any hostility. You sound like you really have a strong desire to do the right thing. I wish you all the best in dealing with this dilemma. I know it isn’t easy.

thank you so much and you right i have talked to my dad about the whole things yesterday right befor i had my surgery and he asked me if i still had feelings for my ex and i wont lie so i said yes i always will but just b/c i have them does not mean i act on them , and he started talking as though he might even let me and my ex start dating again.. he said that he see's that my ex treats me right so we'll see what happend... i thnak you all for you kind help. you have helped me alot you have no idea .. and if you ever need something be srue to ask . thank you so much

I'm glad to hear that things are looking up.

You just had surgery? Here's wishing you a full and speedy recovery.

--Lydia O