Could My First Love Be My Last?

Okay, a little while ago I posted a post about Shane, my first love who went out with this girl but during the past summer we hung out a lot and he ended up kissing me. After that we didnt really talk much .. it was to hard for me because he told his then girlfriend(now ex) that a kiss doesnt mean anything unless u want it to mean something. I saw him here and there but whenever we were in a place together I ended up trying to stay clear from him because it was to hard to face him still. Well Saturday(october 8) my friend had a party and I didnt realize Shane was gunna be there - so when I saw him I all of a sudden got really down.. like depressed and I wasn't really talking to anybody just standing by the fire by myself. But then like an hour and a half before the party ended he wanted to take a walk with me so I decided to because he sounded really sincere about wanting to know what was wrong with me. Of course I couldn't tell him what was wrong . like what was I suppose to say 'I still love you'? But like we stopped behind the barn becasue everyone else was in the front yard so we wanted to go where nobody was around us. We were standing there and he took my hand and like when my hands were in my vest pockets he'd put his in the pockets too and everything and when he took my hand i was like Your freezing .. why dont u get a sweater or something and all he said was 'I rather be with you talking'.. my heart like skipped a thousand beats when he said that. Like every thing was so perfect .. I can't even explain some of the things that were going on...But then this is where it all comes into play - when I thought he was gunna kiss me-he didnt- then when I didnt think he was he did...HE kissed Me.. and I dont know what it means .. if it means anything at all .. maybe he thought he just should for the funn of it or something .. we have gone out before so its not like its just friends with benefits everytime we see each other or whatever .. but Im so scared because im in love with him, but how do I know if Shane loves or even just likeds me back .. am I reading too much into it? Please Help!

(I didn't read the whole thing but I read your profile) You're 14. do something constructive, read a book and get over it!

I think you may have missed an opening when he asked you what was wrong. That would have been an opportunity to let him know you have feelings for him or that you care about him in a special way. There's nothing wrong with being honest about expressing your feelings. Instead he is probably confused by thinking he was getting mixed messages from you. Don't expect a guy to read your mind and you shouldn't have to read his. Communicate!!

oh my god, jj good answer!

I must agree with JJ. you are 14 get over it.

I think thats a harsh thing to say. So what shes 14 years old? shes old enough to know how she feels, and shes only asking for advice not to be criticised because of her age!
Anyways, I think you need to tell him how you feel, i mean hes kissed you twice now, and when you were upset he obv wanted to know what was wrong. Maybe hes hoping you feel the same way as him? Its not everyday guys give a crap about us girls if we're upset, unless they like us. If you can't face talking to him, write him a letter, it'l give you the chance to think about things before you write them down. However, if you spoke to him face to face you could see the reaction he has.
Either way, you need to tell him, how else are you going to know how he feels? Good luck xxx

reality is harsh...I agree. Everybody gives different advice, that was mine.

I want to say thanks for the comments I got so far, and I do agree with it being harsh but I guess everyone has their own opinion and without seeing us when we're together its hard to understand the past we have. Age doesn't mean anything but I guess we all have different views. And thanks to the ones who were 'positive' about my situation u gave me really good advice about talking to him and all that .. thats the stuff I need to hear!