im not saying im going to im jstu thinking about it

i ve just been thinking about suicide lately im nto liek coming on here syaing im gonna do it rite now....no one knows i wanna die and i cant get it out of my head bc iwant to i want to die my mom took away teh razors for awhile but shes reasontly put them bak and im home alone and tehre rite upstairs and i wanna cut can anyone just tellme how to end this without hurting my family and frends not my life i mean i mean iwant to but i dont wanna hurt anyone im in therapy but tis not helping idk i realized there is nothign i ve been thro all that shit with getting help and the only u guys are gonna tell me is go to the hospital but i cant do that i just cant my moms been thro 3 of her kids going there one of them going there 3 times in 2 months and icant go away she has nightmares about it and if those nightmares came true it would jsut b liek death for her she sed if it happened again she would run away and idk jsut this isnt real u cna call me crazy but thsi isnt real im nto gonna get into delails but i sware to u this isnt real and ur gonna die and ur gonna realize wut real is but it sure as hell isnt thsi i mean half of u arent even real u were jsut made up for satans little game or gods i cant deside and all of u ppl conform against us against me and tell us how discusting and ugly we are but wut the fuk is ugly???? wut si all thsi shit around me???? this table and camera and cup and fone and comp its shit and physical and physical si fake made for oru eyes but wut we see isnt real wut our minds interperet is real and not history cuz history involves phycial things im talking about art and poetry and feelings bc those u see in ur mind bt uu cant see otu ehre and its so much mroe real than this so im jsut telling u this isnt real ur living in a fake world i promise u this wen u die ull see if thise was so relal and perfect and wonderful then y would b die?? woodnt we jsut stay here bc idk we humans must have to have some kind of point to us bt uwhere is that point put thro surely not ehre on eearth for we die b4 it can come thro and once again its physical so once we find the place where our point is thats where we'll stay and never die so obviously its not ehre bc WE DIE!!! WE"RE NOT REAL and i no im gonna get kids callign em crazy thats cool thats cool and i dont care bc i no im rite and i no im nto gonna get any advice on wut to do about wanting to die bc everyones gonna get caught up on my stupid thoughts abotu reality and there not gonna help me i also jstu want someone to help me that does care and if u get cuaght up i nthe reality thing than u dont care u jstu thing im crazy and w.e think im crazy u no im sik of defending myself fuk it all

peace

sorry if i sounded angry im not im not angry at u im sorry

I know how u feel. i once tried to kill myself but it didn't work. i had thought i wanted to die more than nething, but wen i thought i was goona, i wanted to live more than nething. I felt so horrible wen i saw how scared my friends and family were at the thought of losing me. i learned that no matter how hard life might seem at one point, it can get better if u just keep trying. U only have one life to live. death is a permanent decision u can't go back. im here to talk netime. take care.
-Sami

Why would you put your number on a world wide internet page???

thank u

thats ok thanku tho... all this stuff happened the past couple days involving me almost going into the hospital and i relised a couple things good things so dont worry.... its like everything ive been trying to realize for the past 2 years kinda happened like all these racing thoughts ive figured out like the one up there with reality and i kinda feel calmer but then i went into the doctors and he sed i was faking it!!! w.e i no im not he still didnt send me into the hospital so thats good but im seeing him again on thurs :/ w.e thanx everybody lol and thanx for hugging me up there ^^ lol