I've never had a girl!

Hey I am 17, and I have never had a girlfriend and I kind of have really bad times with girls that I have crushes on, put it this way every girl I have a crush on doesn't like me, and it isn't certain types of girls I like, it's any girls I like. And now I have realised that I must be doing something wrong, and I know there are a lot of girls here and I would really appreciate it if you could tell me what a guy like me should do and how I should act around girls I like because they just don't seem to like me the same way I like them. Some girls I liked don't even know me that well. Right now there are two girls I really like.

One girl: I have talked to a bit, because her mates are friends with my mates and well I don't think it went too well and I think she pretty much thinks i'm an idiot.

The other girl: She's in one of my classes and she has only ever talked to me once, when there was a crowd barging past her and I stepped to the side and let her through, she said thank you to me. And I do look at her a lot in lesson, pretending to look at the clock, but I think she kinda has an idea that I am not looking at the clock seening as though I look at it every 5 minutes, but I might be wrong and she might not even notice at all.

So what should I do?

I have the same problem apart from its with guys... Kinda sucks when you like someone and you dont know how they feel...

All i can think of to do is... try and talk to the girl in class.. find what shes interested in and try and see if you have anything in common that you can talk about. This way you can subtly flirt with her without making it embarressingly obvious you like her.

Oooooor if you have any social thingscomin gup like i dunno *shrugs* partays.. try and talk to her then aswell.

Hmmm hope I helped even just a tinsy incy weeeny bit =)

x~X~x

Here's what you're doing wrong:
You're doing nothing at all. Do you even try to talk to these girls? You have to get them interested in something before they could even consider dating somebody.

Talk to them alot more then you do now. and it can be about anything. It should be easy with school, ask about her classes, grades etc. you can go on for awhile with that topic. Also I advise to you that you get to know a girl better before you even think about dating one.

For the second girl, you could ask her for help with your work during class. It's a good excuse to talk to her, and I think (much as I hate to say it) most girls like to feel smarter than the guy they are talking to. Not all of them, but maybe.
~Jaime

some** (didn't mean "most")

Infected --You certainly have a talent for coming up with some excellent advice here. Kudos.

I suggest you be yourself......that's what gets me interested in guys. Don't try too hard or it may push them away. Make sure you get to know the girls before you decide you want to date them too. People tend to act differently in school than they do out of school.

Mate, I am a bit worse off than you: I am 18 and have never had a girlfriend either. I guess I just want to wait for a really special girl. Do not worry, Love will call you when the time is correct.

Thanks for the tips and I am taking them very seriously.Well I did get very close to working with her today, as in the teacher was putting everyone in groups by their seats, I am on a side of the class and she is sat at the back and put it this way, it stopped at her for my group and she was the start of a new group, so I was extremely close to have an opportunity to speak to her and spend a whole lesson with her for next lesson because it's media and we will be making a short film in our groups. But I guess if our group does an awesome film which I am hopefully starring in and do really well she might say something to me. If not I'll have to find a chance to get an opportunity to speak to her. I have loads of time to talk to her only she is never around, I could talk to her while we are outside class waiting for lesson but she usually comes into class a few minutes after we have been let in so I can't talk to her because she is practically on the other side of the class. And at break and lunch I see her but she's surrounded by her mates. Maybe if some of her mates knew me I could talk to her then but I don't know any of her mates and I couldn't start talking to her in the common room because I would look wierd if I had never talked to her and just started talking to her then. But if I do get a good chance when I see her alone I could always begin with "Hey, we're in the same media class, do you know if we have any homework?" That would definetly lead into a conversation but there is one thing, I think she is kinda shy around people, well around me anyway because when I allowed her past in the common room when people were barging through she said "Thank you" but really softly and low. Anyway if I get any opportunity to talk to her I'll talk to her, if I did know her I could talk to her for a while though so it isn't about me not having time to talk, it's really about me getting the right opportunity for us to start talking to each other. Anyway thanks for the tips. :)

You and NightTears would make a good couple Hehe.

well i think you should stop being shy with girls cause we girls dont like a shy guy ok and one thing find out who you like the most and if you do get close to the one you like dont be scared it may work ok try it

Well today in class i did notice her look over to me once or twice, I actually looked straight into her eyes and she looked into mine for about a second or two before we both looked away. I was wearing a shirt with a black vest underneath, so maybe she was just looking at my clothes or something because she's never taken much notice of me before and there were a few people looking at my clothes so I won't make a big deal out of it. But she's never talked to me apart from saying "thank you" when I let her past in the common room and I said "it's okay" to her, and I really dunno how to start a conversation with her as there are never any good chances. Whenever I see her she's either with her mates and I don't want to look wierd if she's never talked to me before by going up to her infront of her mates and starting a conversation. Also I can't talk to her in class because we don't sit near each other.

Well hunny. allz i can say is dont try soo hard to find someone. its like the saying the best things come when ur not expecting them! take it from a girl who has been through several boys. it really aint worth it. u find one that u think is worth all ur time and energy until they drop u right on ur ass. and ur left to pick up all the pieces and carry on. my last boyfirned cheated on me and i was COMPLETELY devestated i wouldnt talk or eat. he was my first for a few things. i was soo heart broken. but then i viewed my life as how i acted when i was with him and how i am now. two completely different ppl. i was soo wound up in him that i deserted my friends and forgot about everything i truly loved.

so all and all. babe ull find the right person for you and good luck. best wishes forrrr youuuu!

Aww N!

I'm in such a similar situation right now,
The boy I like is in my class but he hasn't talked to me yet, the only time he talked to me was at the begining of the year when we had to like introduce these people and stuff and he looks at me too sometimes.

BUT
from a girls point of view,
Try get her atention, Girls are like that :) we want a man who'll fight for us. I know I hate it cause' my crush wont talk to me so I act like I dont like him and ignore him completely, but you should talk to her, just find a random time or "accidently" bump into her in the halls :)

Good luck

I keep trying to get her attention, it just doesn't work, this is how bad it is, I hold the door open for her and she doesn't notice, she keeps talking to her mate in the class next door, so I have to let it close because I'll look wierd standing at the door keeping it open for her for a minute, also when she's leaving the class she pulls the door behind her instead of holding it open for me when I'm walking out behind her. So she either:

*is letting me know she knows I like her but she has a boyfriend/doesn't like me/or both
*has no idea I'm behind her
*just doesn't like me

So when this kind of stuff happens it is a bit of a "maybe I shouldn't talk to her" thing.

One more thing, when girls are playfighting with guys does it mean they are going out or does it mean they are just mates, because in the common room today she was playfighting with this guy and got one of her mates to help her.

So after today I am really thinking about not talking to her because she doesn't seem to care about me, she doesn't like me or she has a boyfriend.

All i have to say is in order to get a girlfriend you need let her know you like her. Flirt with her and talk to her about something. After getting to know her ask her out. Saying something romantic would be a plus. A lot of us girls love it when a guy says something sweet or does something romantic. Just be a little more out there with your feelings. That's i can tell you

Okay, the door thing, she probably just isn't used to having the door held open for her and more inclined to do it herself. I mean, this isn't the Victorian age.

On that note, polite society teaches girls not to start conversations with guys or just offer information. especially if they like the guy. So, her aloofness is probably just a good indicater that she's a good girl.

So, in order to get this girl to talk, YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE and TALK TO HER. Sorry, for the all-caps, I just have this problem with a lot of guys I know. *whine*

and as for "playfighting" the only times I've ever "playfought" with a guy is in "play self-defense." On some occasions they were just friends, on others, the guy was a guy I was flirting with, but by that point, he didn't take me seriously anymore. I haven't done that since...well, about your age actually.

Well I found out that the girl in my class has a boyfriend and the other girl I talked to also has a boyfriend. So there's no point now. One of my mates told me that they saw her with her boyfriend so that I didn't make a fool of myself by talking with her and then finding out, because that would make me feel like a fool infront of my mates and I'd probably feel heartbroken if I talked to her and eventually asked her out and found out or she told me during a conversation.

Actually he told me today that he thinks she has a boyfriend so who knows, maybe she doesn't.

Yeah, im 17 and im having the same problem but there is one guy ive liked for near four years and in 6 months i feel i will never see him again cause we are leaving school. He was in one of my classes for two years up untila year and a half ago so when he was put in my english class this year i was sooo happy...but after a week and a half just on the day i thought it was safe to think "well at leatst i can see him every day for the next year" he was moved out and iv never sobbed so hard in all my life. Even tho he got a girl about a year ago i cant move on because i dont want to. Even if we could just talk...but he...and every time I get near I...and we've nothing to discuss so...I do like other guys but I FEEL so strongly for him. He knows I like him now but we still dont talk, It tears me up and if I try to forget him I feel like im enforcing a terrible falseness. If I got a bf I would move on because id have a reason to make myself-because it would be for the bf's sake not just for the sake of my own sanity- but until then all I can do is think about him.

Okay well recently I've found out that the girl in my class has a boyfriend yet today I noticed her looking over at me in class if I didn't konw she had a boyfriend I may have thought she had an interest in me but as I know she has a boyfriend I can't really think much of it. Maybe she just thinks I have a wierd fashion sense or maybe she liked my hoodie or something as I had this hoodie with green aim signs up my arm and one right on my chest and my arms have bandages on them covered with black sweatbands. Don't ask why I wear them, I don't slit my wrists or anything or cut myself I just like them because no one else wears them and it makes me look unique. But anyway yeah, she did look over at me quite a few times and caught me looking at her in the process but I wouldn't look into it too much as I am sure she has a boyfriend now.

If you notice her looking directly at your face then she might like you. Normally when i like a guy i look at them but try not to make it obvious. If she turns away when she sees you notice her looking at you, then she probably likes you. Hmm...does she look at you everyday or hardly ever?

hate to ruin it for you, but body language is so misleading. i love a assertive shy guy. lol it sounds confuing. but cocky guys are a turn off and i like s hy guy becasue hes vulnerable and sweet. i want him to be assertive so he doesnt question what hes doing, he comfertable being who is. but whatever you do dont change for a girl, we arent worth it. doesnt matter if you've never had a girl. sooner or later you will find the perfect one, and it will be worth waiting for. high school is the time where looks and status come into play for alot of people as you get older it becomes more about who you wanna be with, what you look for, and who makes you feel amazing, and you'l be able to make someone feel like that.

Well, honestly.
Maybe you should try to just become friends with a girl instead of just rushing into a relationship.
That way, the girl will feel more comfortable with you, and you have a strong relationship.
And if thing's don't go well the first time you ask her out,
You guy's can still be friends, and have another chance.

punksunite24, I did notice her looking directly at me in class and when I was by myself walking through the commonroom this morning and she was sat with her mates I did look directly at her and I saw her looking at me but it has only been recently she started looking at me, maybe she doesn't like me but she has a feeling I like her and she wants to see if she's right, and even if she did like me some people have already told me she is going out with some guy called josh. So either way, if she does like me, she already has a boyfriend so I would have no chance anyway but I doubt she does like me and if she is just trying to see if I like her then there's still no chance if she finds out that I do. Also *nicc* I am not one of the cocky guys, I am one of the shy guys if you thought I meant I was one of the cocky guys, if you didn't and you meant I am going to become cocky there is no chance that will ever happen, I admit I'm not as shy as I was at high school but I still am quite shy compared to most people at college.

awww...well i say you shouldn't give up. If the guy she's with breaks up with her or she breaks up with him you still have a chance. Don'y give up on someone because they are taken. I personally think if she looks at you she probably likes you. She was probably waiting for you to ask her out. Even if you are shy, you need to get up the courage at least once to ask her. When she's single that is.
Hey can you answer a question for me? If you don't want to it's okay. Anyways i hope things still work out for you. If you really do have feelings for her, there is still hope. Oh and don't think so negatively. If she looks at you that is some kind of sign. I bet she wants you to ask her. Besides boyfriends and girlfriends come and go. I bet you her relationship with that guy won't last all that long. Maybe then you will have a chance. ^_^

What's the question?

And yeah I might believe you as she does look at me quite a bit, she was doing it today in class, last lesson, only just before lunch I saw her walking with her boyfriend which got me pretty low, but then I saw her by herself when I was on my way to Tesco to get some energy drinks, I thought they would help me feel more happy, I am drinking way too much recently, so much my mates are telling me to stop because they are actually scared that I am addicted to them. Anyway I didn't say anything to her because I thought it would have looked wierd as all I could have said was "do we have any homework" which I could have asked her when I saw her with her boyfriend. And right then I didn't feel in the mood for talking as I was pretty low.

Anyway the next time I saw her was right before the lesson, which was the last lesson of the day, but when I saw her she was with her boyfriend again only this time they were kissing. I think one of my mates noticed but didn't mention it and I'm sure he tried to get me to look the other way, I didn't let on I saw them but I did. This got me really low. Then during the lesson she came in a few minutes late and didn't look at me at all during the start and middle of the lesson but near the end she looked at me a few times.

Anyway the main feeling of today was pretty low as outside of class this is the most I've seen of her but she was with her boyfriend for most of that time and at one point they were kissing. Also in class she only paid attention to me right at the end. So yeah bad day for me. :(

Anyway what was the question?

Yeah i really do think she likes you but she has a b/f right now. Like i said before relationships come and go. Before you know it you will have another chance to be with her. Well i wanted to know from a guys point of view, how you know if they like you. With my ex it was obvious because he was my best friend. Anyways there's this guy in my studyhall who looks back at me every few minutes. He also takes out his guitar (i love guitars) so it gets my attention. Then he looks back while he's playing it to see if i'm looking. Is this a sign that he likes me or no? I just thought maybe he might because i'm the only girl he keeps looking at during study hall. I know what it's like from a girls point of view but not from a guys.

Well I dunno every guys point of view but what this guy seems to be doing to you is exactly the same as what I am doing to the girl in my class. just to make it clear though the times she looks at me that I was taling about before are not when I am trying to get her attention, she just looks over at me without me attempting to, I can see her in the corner of my eye, if I don't just look straight at her not knowing she's looking at me. If he is looking over at you every so often and he tries to get your attention as you said and looks at you to see if he has your attention then I am pretty sure he must be doing the same sort of thing I'm doing so yeah I'd say that he probably likes you.

And I'm sorry if I sound really depressed but every single girl I had feelings for didn't like me and were pretty loud about it so I have no confidence when it comes to girls. Every girl I thought had feelings for me and I did something about it just ended up making fun of me. Whereas this girl seems to stare at me yet she has a boyfriend so that totally takes away that maybe she might like me and I could do something about it and it seems even more confusing to me. girls without boyfriends and I asked out laughed at me, this girl who has a boyfrined actually looks at me but I really don't get it as she has a boyfriend. There's always a possibility that she just likes looking at the corner of the class that I'm sat in.

Thanks JDFreeSoul, it's just when you have never fully experienced love, (not like love as in family etc. but love with a girl where they love you back) it is a little depressing, especially when you are walking through college and you see all these couples kissing and everything, including the girl you have sorta feelings for. You feel like something is missing, even though you have never experienced it it still feels like something is missing.

And I just want to say that the girl I like, I have nothing against her boyfriend, I have friends in some of his classes and they all say he is a really nice person so instead of acting all like "he's going out with the girl I like I don't like him", I don't hold anything against him for that, that would be stupid. They actually know him as a person so I believe them, as they are my friends so they wouldn't lie to me like that.

Thanks i'm gonna start up a conversation with him next time i see him and see where it goes from there. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel like something is missing. I just broke up with my ex a few weeks ago and when i see him with his new g/f it hurts. You see them hug and hold hands and kiss and you feel like your heart has been torn. seeing a person you have feelings for with someone else is painful. It has happened to me before...so i know. I feel like i'm the only one at this time without someone. I must be pretty stupid for feeling that way. It's not the first time i've been single it's just that all my friends are still with thier boyfriends or girlfriends and i'm alone. Don't take it to heart whether or not it works out with this girl there are pleanty of others out there. I bet one day when you least exspect it the girl for you will just show up. Don't dwell on this one girl so much. Yeah there is still achance she might like you and you will get a chance to be with her. There is also a chance she is not the one. If your college is big then most likely there's a girl who is right for you that you have never seen or met. It's all a matter of time and being patient. You're 17 give it some time. I think you may have a chance with her from what you say but for now just try and find someone else who might be better.

Yeah, I understand that it must be bad when all of your mates have someone and you don't, and I really hope it goes well for you when you do talk to him.

And I know I shouldn't dwell on her so much but it is hard because I really got feelings for her and I didn't know she had a boyfriend but then I found out she had a boyfriend and now I feel terrible because I still have these feelings for her and it's not like I can suddenly just say, "ah well she has a boyfriend I don't like her anymore" it just isn't that easy.

Yeah thats true. Nobody can just push their feelings aside. I still have feelings for my ex because i actually loved him and i can't just push them aside because he has a new g/f. I completely understand where you're coming from. All i'm saying is that you should try to see if there is anyone else you could possibly like. If not...well all you can do is wait until you have a chance to be with her. I never said it was that easy. All i'm saying is well...don't get to the point where you think she is the only girl for you. I've seen that happen. Ofcourse you still have feelings for her but just remember she's just someone you like. If you keep all your attention on her you will never know if there is another girl you could actually love. Sorry if i'm making this worse. I'm just trying to help.

Yeah it's okay, I understand what you mean. Thanks.

I'm giving up on this girl now, mainly because I saw her and her boyfriend in the common room and she was giving him a lap dance, so yeah, I'm giving up because I can't see them breaking up and there are aload of girls at college and I'm just wasting my time trying to get a girl who already is happy with a boyfriend to go out with me.

Wow! I would have never thought this would happen but I am actually sort of friends with this girl now! I talked to her online and we talked quite a bit, we have yet to speak at college but it has only been one day and the lesson we have together isn't until tomorrow, we didn't have it today. Only problem now is I have made friends and I don't want to lose her friendship.

Go N!!

One advice from me, be yourself... I especially love that in a guy, I don't seem to go for fakies, I mean really, who does? *rolls eyes...
So yeah, maybe what you find out about her will make you love her more, but keep in mind that yes she does have a bf...
Great you're friends with her now!
Keep it up eh??
Goodluck :)

Laterz,
Shirlz.

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good to know you have moved on. I can see your point though. If a relationship doesn't last most of the time the friendship is ruined as well but that doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a try. I say go for it! Good luck! Oh and by the way i started to talk to the guy in my study hall. I really like him a lot so thanks for the advise on that. If you don't want to lose the friendship you have, then don't lose it. If you go out and end up breaking up you can still be friends. You are the one who makes things happen. Friendships break because people don't try and make them work. Laterz

Hey, good to hear about you and the guy in the study hall. I hope it works out well.

But I just want to say I'm not like what you would call a friend who sees her a lot. I waited for her after class today and we talked for a few minutes. I didn't see much of her around college though, and I didn't talk to her only those few minutes after our lesson. But yeah she's a really cool person and I don't want to ruin the friendship we seem to be having by doing something stupid like telling her how I feel about her, especially when she has a boyfriend who she seems to like. So if we never become more than friends I am happy enough being her friend.