its all coming back to me

SERIOUSLY i dont know what on earth is wrong with me!! about a year and a half ago maybe two and a half....i dont remember how long ago this was but ANYWAY i developed severe depression and attempted suicide and starting cutting myself along with anorexia....well the whole cutting and anorex thing went on for a long time until about half a year ago my mom saw my arms and i got put on anti-depressants everything was going fine i wasn't cutting anymore i finally wasn't underweight anymore everything was going great but just this past month i've been slipping into those habbits again i'm cutting myself like everyday and i never eat....well i do but i feel so horrible when i eat and im still on my meds but they aren't working anymore!! i dont want to tell my mom because she'll just put me in the psych ward! i 'm so lost i dont know what to do! please help!

i seriously don't want to be that person again! and i try really hard to not let myself become that person again but i just can't stop doing it! i've tried to talk to my friends but it just doesn't seem like they care. don't get me wrong i know they do care about me but when it comes to this sort of thing i think they get scared and dont know what to say. i dont really have someone i can talk to that will understand me........well there is one person i used to talk to about it but he's really mad at me right now

why am i doing this to myself?

i know my life could be a hell of alot worse but my parents have been fighting ALOT my dad started drinking heavily awhile back and would hit me whenever i did something wrong and for some reason just everything around me is just tumbling down. and it just gets to be too much and i started cutting and not eating again because i just have it stuck in my mind that i'm a worthless piece of junk and that i'm just a mistake and there's no use in living if no one is going to care about me i dont know i just feel like no one is there for me and no one cares about me

well, you may or may not agree with me..but i dont think being on pills is going to help anything..i mean at first, it will and always will i guess when youre on them.But dont you want to be able to be fine WITHOUT them? it may seem like alot of work..but you should try getting better without the pills.

i dont think that the meds are going to work the magic to help me sorry if i made it sound as if i thought that. Honestly i hardly take them anyway but i dont know i'm just one really messed up person

hun i honestly dont know what to say...but just try and get yourself out of this... the mind is the strongest weapon u know...
use it against all this bad stuff you're doing to urself.
If you want it that bad..just try talk to ur friends or a counsellor or something and try to help yourself.
You're not worthless.
take care xoxo

and stop feeding yourself that "i'm a messed up person"..that's not gonna help sweetie!!

i know what u mean hun, i had "stopped" cutting, i tried so fucking hard. and i promised myself from the very moment i cut first time that id NEVER go bejond my arms. I read things about cutters who ran out of skin and looked for other places to cut and shit, but i didnt believe them. And for a while, i was fine, i had an AMAZING best friend, people who loved me, my dad wasnt being a shit, i a love interest, and then all of it was ripped away from me. and i fell into cutting again, but this time, on my leg. i did it last night. Somewhere tht no1 will see, and eventually ill run out of skin on my leg, too, and ill resort to the other leg, and im dreading it. Please dont do this to urself, get help, i will, too.
be strong

I know what your talking about. I'm pretty much the same way. But the length I stoped wasn't that great. It was probably about a month. Then I was back into cutting and axorexia. Just try as hard as you can to get out of this. Find someone that you can talk to and run to when things get sucky. I wouldn't suggest talking to your school counsiler only if you don't want your parents to know. By law they have to tell your parents. Just saying... it wouldn't be my choice. Just be strong and if it gets too out of hand you should probably tell someone that can actually help.
By the way about the meds, My opinion they don't work at all. But I haven't ever taken them more then 2 times. I don't like the idea and I know it doesn't work. It may for a while... but when I'm used to it.. it just doesn't work.

Savannah.

thanks alot guys i've told some of my closest friends about it and hehe last night it was so wierd cuz i was hanging out with one of my best guy friends in the world and i told him all about it and we talked and some stuff went down hehe but it was the first night in SO long that i actually felt TRUE happiness so i dont know maybe things might get better! anyway thanks alot for the help and advice and what not! your the best!