here is the truth....

Truth:
*I eat alone 6 days a week
*My sister died in December
*I always told her i couldn't wait until she left for college but I was always lying
*I cry myself to sleep alot
*School and sports dictate my life
*I have never smoked (and never plan to)
*I have low self-esteem
* I hate being told I'm pretty
*I am terrified of my dad
*I am deathly scared of hospitals (especially mental hospitals)
*Only one person knows I write (not including people on this site)
*Almost everything I knew was a lie
*My mom was on birth control when she got pregnant with me
*I laugh when i want to cry
*I dread coming home
*I never take medication
* I love nature, wolves and the color silver

ok here is the truth, aparently there are rumors going around about me on here, they are not true. Don't listen to what other people tell you, if you want the truth, please come to me and get the facts right, before you tell anyone about me. Thank you.

~Joe~

Here's my share of truths:

~I was here a couple of time, wrote down a couple of truths, and deleted them all.

~I am secretly envious of my younger sister, because she is all my mother brags about to her friends.

~My mother had never told me she loves me directly to my face, it's always "I love her, because she's my daughter." to someone else.

~I want my mother to act like she at least cared that I received awards for my paintings and writings.

~I always say I don't believe in love, but the truth is, I can't help but yearn for a chance to be a victim of love.

Some are too personally, so I guess this is about it.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

More truths:
*My uncle works in Africa and the rig was attacked and hostages were taken
*I can't stand being around most people these days
*Today I was dianosed with Raynaud's Disease
*I have mild OCD
*I go on this site almost everyday
*Although i don't really believe in God, I still pray

Thats all i can think of adios!

*I feel alone even in my own skin,
*I cannot expresses my sadness any other way than in my poems
*every smile I show is just to block of the flood of tears I have stored up inside
*I am really bad at expressing love and sadness with spoken words
*I feel everything I have ever loved is gone or leaving me behind
*I am not and never have been a cutter
*All of the sadness in my poems are true but I deny this to anyone who actually knows me
*its been three years and I still think about my friend who died every single day
*I feel like my friends are all leaving me behind..
*I have wished death upon people close to me
*I have planned my death a zillion times but never came close to following through
*and after all of my many sins I still belive that I am going to heaven
*I have cried myself to sleep a few times
*I only cry in private

ok wow I have never expressed any of this so bluntly and staright forward... these are a few of my hidden truths.. and if you know me personally.. plz ignore this

I cryed today for 2 hours straight and vented out how much I dislike my aunt right now to my mom...which I never do I keep everything to myself

Wow, Kudos to you Bob.

When I started this thred, I had no idea that it would have this many posts.

Kudos to all of you that have posted.

~Joe~

Though I have alot of bad days and found myself suffering from depression it seems that everything is turning around in a full circle.

1. I got accepted into a four year college (my first choice too)
2. I got a professor of mine fired where I currently attend a 2 year college
3. I am so tired of having surgeries all the time (I return for #12 on Monday then one a week for the following 2 weeks)
4. I fear that when I finally have my neck and low back fused it will ruin my life

To original poster - I think I prefer the real you. The cop guy kinda scared me. I prefer this real you. Stay that way :)

Thank you Kim, and everyone keep up the awesome work, you are all doing a great job. Kudos to all.

~Joe~

hehe i have a list!
* i have major self confidence issues
*i am really self concious
*i am a manic depressive (hence most of my poetry)
*i am a total hypocryte
*i ABSOLUTLY *HATE* my name
*i am extremely hostile to most people
*i have written a journal since i could write
*i dont hate people unless i have a VERY good reason
* i try to be people i'm not
*im not putting all my truths here
*i am a scrawny b**ch but if you p*ss me off i will make you cry
*i am actually quite a sweet person...untill i wake up
*the above is supposed to say that im a sweet person if you get to know me and dont judge me
* i absolutly despise it when i get labelled or judged
* i DO NOT trust anybody i have been backstabbed to many times
well yeah thats about it so i'm gonna go
xoxXxox pip
p.s joe, it was very good of you to say that. it takes a good person to say sorry

Here is the truth:

I'm sick and tired of the following:
-being the good person
-always sacrificing MY TIME and MY LIFE to be there for others
-always being the friend
-always get F***** exploited
and always haveing to play the patient human being who's too perfect and too trustworthy that one cannot expect her to be the perfect little puppy

I'm sick and tired of thinking of others all the time and never myself. IT'S MY LIFE, NOT YOURS...

I'm tired of always wishing people to see through my "I'm doing great" and smiles, and yet guess what? NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

I have been fighting myself, part of me wants to be the same weakling, the other wants to transform this entire emotions I have into nothing but energy.

Anger, hatred, lonliness, feelings I have not experience in quite some while, and guess what, a so called "family" just gave me the perfect reason to abandon all that I truly believe in.

I will not tolerate any more idiocy from people, I will not tolarate whinning and if you've got a f******* problem, figure it out yourself. don't come to me whinning about it becuase I ain;t your servant anymore.

and for those who say they care... you don't even give a damn, you know why? becuase you're easily fooled into believing I'm this angel...

and people want to be nice... yeah, try it for 8 effing years, try to be the nice human being that's always helpful.

and do I get a chance to take care of myself, no, so here is teh truth. I will not and shall not allow any human being to make me shed one more tear.

I will not be exploited and if you've got a problem, solve it yourself, don't come running to me everytime you feel like you've got time.

I've wasted enough time and life on what others need. god, its pathetic... to think those years that have been wasted on nothing... friendship? my ass.

I help people all my life, I've been there for most people, and I have never complained, not once did I say that I'm tired of heloing people. but no more. no more will I allow myself to waste any more time on 'doing the right thing"

the advice was right, I need to take care of myself, and stop wating more time. everything is just another stage, and life is too short to waste any more time.

so I bid thee farwell, and I hope Kaite takes control of this account, becuase I'm truly fed up of wasting anymore time.

Cousling: BS, try being nice and helpful for 8 years, what am I saying, ever since I kid 9two years exception) I was always helpful, be it a fight to protect my 'friends' or a being a shoulder, yet, the same thing always happened. friendship met with with betrayal, love met with hatred, I have been so blind, it's true, you have to give in order to recieve, yet sometimes even if you give you never recive.

so here is the truth, I hope everyone now is happy, isn't that what everyone wanted, me out of this site.

congratulations, you just got your wish true. I will not allow myself to stay in a place where I get nothing form it but sadness.

forgot to say this before sorry
Joe i like musical people i dont know why you were so ashamed of being yourself and ofcourse you have friends you just have to look for them!
have a nice day (or night watever time it may be) and stay strong
xoxXxox pip

Thank you pippa

To be all good and honest, i didn't know that you weren't the things you claimed to be because i haven't really communicated with you.

But i don't have to know you to say i'm very proud of you.

Here's to living up to your faults and who you are.

-Nora-

a few more truths
*I'm very impulsive
*Alot of people hate me
*I'm "too smart and too athletic"
*I should be studying but i don't feel like it
*I'm fed up with school's bullshyt
*I don't understand why girls that dress like whores never get in trouble for clothes but everyone else does?
*I'm not thinking rationally at this point and time
*I solved a crypto graph today

Truths? Ah a hard one for me, but here goes...

I am trying hard to tell telemarketers the real reason why I don't want to talk with them, instead of some nice excuse!

I no longer wish to be a nice person to everyone, because it is too much work.

I want to give up my "nice" life and go live on a farm with lots of cows and get down right dirty and make love in the corn field.

I want to live and love whenever I feel like it and with whomever.

Now I am going to go to bed and dream about these truths! Thanks for listening!!!

my biggest secret is that i'm 15 years old and i take diet pills and i'm anorexic instead of bulemic. i feel ugly all the time. i just want to wake up one day and just breathe and not worry about what i eat and just feel beautiful. i look in the mirror with a starving stomach and i feel pretty but then i eat something and i look in that same mirror and feel ugly. i love showing off my body as long as i dont look down. i just want to be normal, and i dont really know what normal is but i really really want to be that and i dont know what to do i want help but im scared that they will tell me that i need to eat and i will never be okay about food

Ok, well god knows I've tried hundreds of time to confess to everything I think, feel and I'm going through; however, everytime I did I just deleted it, and couldn't face myself. I hated everything I would say. I didn't want sympathy and I still don't want sympathy. I just want to get past it. So rather than dwell on those confessions, I've decided I'd come and confess to something that makes me much more comfortable in my own skin. (And I hope to lighten the mood a little bit)
My confession for the day is:
I hate the phone, it scares me - and I can never talk on it for longer than 5 minutes without running out of things to say, or spacing out from boredom... But!!!....That boyfriend that I've told some of you about, that lives half way around the world -and is infact a perfect stranger - well, I phoned him last night and heard him for the first time. I talked to him for the shortest half hour I've ever had. I love (I still hear it replay in my head *blushes*) his voice, I love his accent, and I love that - half hour - moment. Everything I was feeling, was swept away; and I can honestly say, I woke up this morning with the same smile I fell asleep with.
Love is wonderful... He is wonderful... Happiness has finally returned to me!!!
I hope you all experience a 'moment' as the one I had on the phone and that it stays with you for a long time after. I know it will happen for all of you, I just hope it's sooner than later. Best of luck, love and life to everyone. xoxox -Stefhy- xoxox

~A guy grabbed me by my wrists at school last week than went on to critize me. I thought he was going to pin me on a wall I was so afraid. Even though my teacher was there I didnt say anything, I blew it off like nothing happened, and then went back to my work.

~Now Im afraid of him. And been crying alot because he had no right to do that and embarrass me in front of the class. I want to tell my other teacher because he is older and I just dont know who else to tell.

~I also want to talk to my teacher about over problems I have but I dont want to open up to him because he is only going to be my teacher another 4 months.

BTW-Im so proud of everyone on this forum who has posted the truth about themselves. Its not easy coming out with the truth. God Bless
*Julie*

look... it doesnt matter.. i admit i lie all the time...i kno how u must feel because ive lost friends over it and its not very nice...just be urself and get on with life..i also admit i am jealous of my friend becca. she is like so sexy..

naomi

First of all I would like to say thanks to Joe for being so honest and letting everyone else have the chance to be just as honest and open without the fear of being judged, I'm so proud of you all and I'm so grateful that I know and talk to alot of you.

- I'm terrified of leaving me house now, I was raped when I was 6, I barely told anyone because I was so young and scared, I regret not telling anyone now. He lives around the corner from me and I hadn't seen him in ages but now I see him nearly everyday, I'm not sure if he's seen me yet but when I see him, I run into the nearest bush of crowd of people (even if I don't know them) just to get away from him. I don't know what to do anymore

- I've cut since I was 7 and then I stopped for sometime and started again until someone I really cared about told me I should stop so I did but things have gotten really bad again and I've started again and I can't stop, I wish to say sorry to all my friends who I told I'd stop, it's an addiction like any other. I'm sorry.

- I'm scared of telling my friends anything that goes on in my life as I'm afraid of rejection, over the years I've made a fair amount of friends n I never want to lose them even if that means hiding behind a smile for the rest of my life and I know that sounds stupid but it's the way I'm choosen to deal with things.

- When my dad gets angry, he gets really angry and I'm terrified that he's going to try and hit me one day as I can see a hatred for me in his eyes whenever I see him n it's almost like he's using all of his power to control himself n it scares me.

These are some things that I've never told anyone but I feel safe to tell people here. thanks.
Love Becca. xx

I am humble to say that I have found something in my life that makes me happy, what that is I found I still don't know. I recently cleaned my room and hanged 2 of my guitars on the wall, it is alot more sophisticated. For some reason I feel great inside.

On that note here is some truth to me....

I have stole before...you may ask what it was I stole....I was a stupid teen, going though a rebal time....a couple guys and myself stole a few construction cones ( the bright orange ones )...we thought we where cool...next thing we knew the cops where involved...we got off on a warning

This is something that I never really told anyone...but on the bright side, I see it like this, things that people do wrong...it only makes you realize how stupid you where ( hopefull, and least it did for me )

~Joe~

Here is the truth... I just spent the last forty minutes wrting down my truths, only to lose it because I was logged out for some inexplicable reason...
I will be back to post on this though, it has been awesome reading, inspiring to know that there are people not afraid of the truth... but I can't re-write all I've just done right now.
love and light
in truth

I'm addicted to this site.
I'm always happy.
people say I'm shy.
I love God so much. I mean so much.

nothing more comes to my mind now...

marjan

Here is some more shocking truths:

I seduce those I dislike, and certain people I do like.

I stole many time when I was a teen, a shoplifter. I only shoplifted what I wanted.

I never beg or ask, unless I have too.

People think I am arrogant. That is because I am better than them...Lol.. Only joking.

I am someone who can be your loyal good friend, or your worst enemy....

I am very gracious, but because of my family. I have lost it.

I am pessimistically optimistic.

Bravo Joe, it takes a lot to admit what you did and stand and face the consequences!

My confessions:

- Im always there for other people, but no one's ever there for me.

- I was an alcoholic but was dry for 6 years until my girlfriend went home 2 weeks ago. I've had to reset the counter. I've been dry for 8 days.

- I only feel safe when Im in my girls arms.

- I died when I was little, since then, my grandad has been with me and materialises when I need him.

- I dont trust anyone.

- My family treat me as a servant.

- I haven't left my house in 5 years.

- Unless someone wants something, I am invisible to people.

- My biological father disowned me when he found out I was gay.... mainly because his wife told him to.

- Im addicted to the internet.

- I smoke far too much.

- I never express my feelings because people either don't care or claim Im overreacting.

- Im in love and it terrifies me.

- I despise racists, homophobes, abusers and pizza.

- I climb trees when I can.

- I love the ocean and miss it terribly.

- Im most alive in the middle of the night.

- No one ever tries to understand who I am, they think that because I appear to be together then I am. Im not.

- I love graveyards because I know without doubt that one day, I'll be in one.

- I hate the colour green.

- I am only really close to 2 people, neither one is related to me by blood, but they are my family.

- Im scared that my girlfriends kids will hate me and that I wont be able to deal with the instant family aspect of being with her.

- Im scared she'll make herself believe she's too old for me and leave me.

- The Candyman scares me

- I can still get my foot behind my head.

- People annoy me

- I will go to the end of the earth and back for the people I love.

- I refuse to rely on anyone. I will suffer rather than ask for help.

- The burn of a tattoo is comforting.

- I love really awful, cheesy music.

- I get really annoyed by people who follow the crowd rather than being an individual.

- Despite losing a lot of people and making lots of enemies, I refuse to be anyone other than myself.

- This is much cheaper than therapy! lol

I am real
I am me
I don't trust too many people
my poetry is very bad but i don't care
i love loud music
I will argue till i am blue in the face if i think i am right
I do not like people who constantly change their minds
I have lied i will admit
I am lovable despite my faults
I am not really dead
I weep at sad movies

This is me and i dont care if people dont like me!

My confessions:

I am a hypocrite.

I laugh when there's nothing to laugh about.

People think i am a crude person when i make jokes at innapropriate times, but it's my way of coping and helping others cope with the things that have happened.

The only time that i go to see my father is when i need money. He owes enough child support...but i feel shameful even though he doesn't really want me around, so i don't even know why i give a damn..

I don't cry often, i just cry easily.

I don't believe my mother when she says she won't leave us again, and i feel terrible that i can't trust her.

I lie all too often.

//Ari\\

my confessions:

*some people say im to hyper to live
*i get tested for ADHD next week
*im terrified that my dad is going to die from cancer, but i dont show it
*my mom hates me and beats me
*my best friend is a drug dealer and im afraid im an alchoholic
*im a cutter.. but they think i quit last year..
*i think im addicted to pain killers
*i love being with my friends because they treat me as a person, not a sex addict
*im still a virgin.. and i told my friends i have sex every friday
*i can sound like a man.. so i pretend im my best friend brad on the phone
*.... i think im anorexic..
*i made my best friend break up with his girlfriend for me.. (not intentionally)
*i think im bisexual
*i think i love my best friend
*my parents think i've stopped lying.. but i'veo nl gotten better
*sometimes i belive my own lies..
*i talk to a 20 year old guy b/c i think he really loves me, and isn't gonna treat me like shit..
*i feel emotionless
*i hate living
*i wish i could just runaway
*i drink to forget everything going on
*i lie to my theropist cuz i think he's going to tell my parents
******************************************

...that felt really good.. and i feel better about myself now!

.. i forgot some stuff

*i peirce everything myself just for the pain
*i love the feeling of being hungry, it makes me feel skinny even though i weigh 109 pds
*i love it when a boy touches me b/c i feel real and alive
*to hide cutting.. i started burning
*i set things on fire.. and i set a woodland fire.. but no one noes