irrestistable escape

have you ever woken up in the night and wanted to fly away?
ever come home in floods of tears and wanted to die?
have you ever wanted to escape just to see how others will react?
because that is all i want to do, all i think about, i want to kill myself or disappear to see what people really feel, especially my mum. i want to die and watch her cry for me, or pray, or say she loves me, and wish i come back. i want to know what she is without me, if she misses, if she even cares that im gone.

i want her to say she has taken me for granted, i want her to know that its her fault, i want her to feel the pain i feel and feel the love i feel, all at the same time.

i want to run away and see her reaction when i return but she'll probably shout at me, i want her to make appeals for me and give up work to search for me and cry and want to join me.

i want to stop these feelings, but even more i want to know the truth.

xXx

sounds like you have proper issues babe! jus think about everyone else around you before you do anything silly! maybe you should try goin to see a councellor or someone like that, just a suggestion! im here if you need to talk anytime!
lv becca x x x x

u spelt irresistible wrong

Don't kill yourself over it. Are you gonna let one person ruin everything? If you want your mom to cry over you, then you want her to love you. She probably does, you can never know for sure. And I agree, you can't see her reaction if you're dead.

Kori, Goargi didn't yell at her about it he just told her. You dont have to yell at him for that.

Gabriel, I guess it would be interesting to see peoples response to my sudden disapairance. I do feel like I'm some times taken for granted. I try not to get in the way of people, it'd be interesting to see those people react to the death of some one who wasn't always right there, see the reactoin of casual friends at school, people who wished I was gone, people who thought I wished they were gone... I do want to know what they'd do if I died.

Guys I don't think Gabriel was talking about killing herself, just about wondering how people would react. I know I would never consider killing myself.

thanks purple, but...im a girl lol georgia. hehe dont worry, happens all the time!