Comparing My Love to My Boyfriend...

Oh well this is a super long story just to prepare you...ok well I live right next door..literally like 2 steps...to this guy zach...ok well me and zach dated for like a year and even when we broke up...we were still telling each other we loved each other...having sex...and doing the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing except when we got into public we would act like we didnt even know each other...ok well months later things are basically the same...he would tell me that he is just so in love with me...wants to get married and have kids...everything..ok well we were basically going out and then one day he finally asked me to be his girlfriend again...of course i said yes. ok well when we were in school he would just completely ignore me, he only wanted my friends to know that we were dating...i have no idea why i asked him if he was like ashamed of me or whatever and he swears up and down that he isnt. ok well i basically borke up with him right after that and yeah we still did the whole i love you, i love you to thing. But then i was like ok i need to open my eyes and see whats going on here..so i decided that it was time for me to move on and start dating again...i knew of a few guys that liked me and i have been asked out a couple of times while secretly seeing zach...so i finally said yes to this guy eric....after talking to eric for about 3 weeks we are finally going out and i think im happy with that. BUT...me and zach still kiss and tell each other that we love each other...i just cant seem to find a way to get out of that. i feel so bad leading eric on like that but i just dont know what else to do. but ever since i got a boyfriend zach has been trying to make it seem like he owns me...whenever we are in school he will always come up to me, put his arm around me or just say i love you ashley across the hall...i wish he would of done this earlier. and i cant help but compare my love for zach to what me and eric have...my relationship now isnt much but we have only beeting going steady for not even two weeks. all of my friends tell me not to break up with eric cuz i will just be throwing something great away...he is a really great guy..he loves buying my flowers and candles...which he has already done twice in the past week and half...i mean how cute is that. he will call me at 2 in the morning just to tell me he was thinking about me and wanted to say goodnight.. i feel so guilty for seeing zach while not with eric...what do i love...love is stronger that just liking someone...but i cant take the chance of leaving eric and gettin stuck in the same situation i was in b4 with zach...please HELP!
xoxox
ashley

You are making decisions too quickly without weighing all the options and the consequences. You took Zach back with no conditions right when he asked. He probably saw that as a sign of weakness and felt that he could treat you however he pleased and you'd still want to be with him. It would have been better to tell him you would only accept him back on YOUR terms and not as the way things had been previously. That would have sent the right message.

I also think you jumped from just going out with Eric to getting into an "exclusive" relationship with him way too soon. If you are still involved in any way with Zach, you're allowing that involvement to cloud your judgment. What you are doing is not fair to either guy and it's also causing you some distress. Eric, he may be a great guy but things are still in the intial impression when best behavior rules. So don't base your decision too much on all that. Three weeks is too soon to tell.

I think the only way for you to make a clear and careful decision is to not see either one at all for at least a couple weeks until you are sure of your choice.