Sexist jokes!

Hello all! Here is the place for all of your sexist/offensive jokes that you've wanted to post elsewhere, but were to scared.

Or, this is just the place for some damn funny yet awesome sexism.

Not just against women! C'mon girls, I wanna be made fun of too. You can't get all of the attention.

Nevertheless, I shall start with one of my personal fav's.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel!

lol. All in good fun, ladies. (otherwise stated as 'Please don't kill me.)

ok lol that was funny heres one of my favs.

There were 3 girls, and a gene (I cant spell) came along and said he would grant ech one a wish about intelligence. the first one said I wish I was dumb in hopes of being turned into a blonde and he turned her into a really pretty red head. Then the second one saw how it made her pretty and decided to aim higher and said she wished she was really dumb adn she was turned into a hot blonde. Then the third girl going along said she wished she was really really dumb and she was turned into a guy!!
no affence but i love it!!
~~Sweetie

XD
XD
XD
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XP

Holy f*cking god! Those were pretty much the shite... Holy crap... I'm STILL laughing! You are like a genius! Damn!

And the best part is, they're both TRUE!

lol. You're great.

Wow... ok, you're the shit. I'll admit.

*gives you the Golden Pimp award*

Congrats!

^.^

lol

Lmao, nice. Thought I don't see why people get so insulted, there funny. xD

*was just called beautiful for the first time in his life?*

*feels special*

lmao sweetenigma you rock

lol. Probably from all of the arguing... oops!

^.^

My bad...

Several bored casino dealers were waiting at an empty craps table when a very attractive blonde woman arrived and proceeded to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude!" With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!" Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other, shaking their heads in utter bewilderment.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching the table!"

Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

roflmao. Here's a short yet classic one:

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
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A: Who cares? Bitch should've been in the kitchen.

XD

lol

One day this wife decided that she wanted to prove to her husband that she wasn't just another dumb blond. She found that the perfect way would be by painting the livingroom..
She went to the paint store and got some paint and started to paint the living room.
When the husband came home and entered the livingroom he found his wife sitting on the floor with a down skicoat and a fur coat over it.
He asked her what she was doing and she read what was on the can to him. -For best result put on two coats-

lame... I know

lol Not exactly sexist, but damn funny!

KERACK UP!!!
Love 'em!
:)

Laterz,
Shirlz

LMAO! nice one, XsHaUnAx.