advice...?

Have you tried therapy?? might help :) But it's hard I know. Dealing with self-destruction might be the hardest thing to do... It's a great thing you've managed to keep off all that bad stuff for that long though! Take care hun!

Jenny if it is possible find an AA or NA meeting in your area the principles of AA are very effective. There are a lot of compassionate people there that won’t judge you. The principle signs of addiction are there. and you have already took a half a step to recovery when you admitted you have a problem. If you can admit that you are powerless over your addiction you will take a whole step

when you feel like cutting, or you cant make alot of noise, try creaming into your pillow. and when you can make noice, try singing along to a song really loudly!!!

if you cant stop cutting, i herd once that u can use ice, becasue it can sort of hurt, but it wont scar you.

keep your head up

Ruby

Some typos are just beyond funny!

creaming > screaming

There are quite a number of alternative things you can do when you have the urge to cut. And most of them have been mentioned by posters in other topics. Some of these include elastic or rubber bands on your arm, eaing a chile pepper, ice (as stated by the poster above), involving yourself in some hobby or activity requiring your concentration (you mentioned playing guitar), exercise, long walks, and finally, meditating or praying. I'm sure there are more.

Best of luck to you.

oh yes, that is difficult to stop. I am a cutter, tried to stop several times, and didn't. But in the last month or so I want real serious and almosted died. That really scared the crap out of me, so I decided I would try to quit for real. I gave my best friend my knives and got rid of everything I cut with. I went through and am going through major withdrawl which is not plesant and I haven't slept often for fear of cutting. It's pretty creepy and I am really pissed off to find out how adicted I actually am. But there is it, that is the thing. I got mad about the addiction and saw what my life was before and what is it now. Cutting took everything from me and left me all alone. Also something my friend talked to be about that really made an impact on me. I was sleeping over her house and she asked me randomly, what will you do if you go too deep? (I had tried to committ suicide a few days before, but failed.) I told her I wasn't going to try that again. She said what happens if it is by accident? If it just happens, what will you do? Then she went through the whole thing. Started by saying that if I was luck I would be found and be able to go to the hospital. Hopefully I wouldn't die on the way. Then I would be rushed into surgery where hopefully I could be sticked up, if everything went well. If I survived all of that they would send me back to couseling, and most likely a rehab phyco home. All my family and friends would know, and I would be on suicide watch. I would loose so much and everything, and that's even if I could stay alive through it all. So yeah, that's what she said and it really impacted me A LOT! It has not been easy and I have been there with a knife pressed on my arm almost cutting several times since I've been trying to quit. I am still getting there, and it is hell, honestly. But it is also important, very very important. I hope this helps. You are welcome to talk to me any time you feel like it! Lova ya baby! I am glad you are willing to try.

-Mikochan

Jenny this is gonna sound corny, but i know exactly how you feel, i do it sometimes too. and cutting is a hard thing to get over. I dont know what to do, so more luck to you i guess

next time you feel shaky... try to think of how your boyfriend would feel?? i know its hard sometimes, i used to cut, im starting to cave in too... but hang in there ok?? im sure your boyfriend loves you a lot and you should always remember that

even sometimes when to people are willing to die for eachother, they still can't be together... and just that... you're already a lot better off than i am...

an online relationship became the centre of my life, he loves me, i love him, we've been through so much, but he's pushing me away, it ended last night, i wanted, and still do, to cut, still haven't yet... just try to be greatful like i am and remember that he loves you a lot :)

least you and your boyfriend can talk, mine just dumped me, and i just found out... he might be dying, and he's still pushing me away...

anyways, sorry for ranting on your thread... but my point is... hang on tight whenever you feel shaky, don't think of the sad things in the past, only remenice the happy memories, and nothing more, wen your done remenicing, look forward, never look back, if you need to remenice or reflect, try to look into your heart, not your past

Well, when I get really depressed nothing works as good as a treat--iced coffee with whipped cream, ice-cream and chocolate sauce, a banana split with all the nicest flavores...if you can't afford that type of luxuries or can't go out to get them then go collecting all the little coins that you can, then go buying a "Depression Stash" adding some candy and stuff from time to time. Then instead of having, say, beer or a smoke you can have a treat.

-beth

mm... your welcome.. and.. thanks too :) funny thing.. i saw him like.. an hour after i posted last?
anyways.. we can't be together cuz of parents, but we might be able to be together after i graduate from high school and get into university of toronto, he said he might transfer back to canada after he spends his first year at oxford... yes your right they almost never work out, and he does live near me.. well.. kinda, near when he drives? i kind of see it as taking steps before a real relationship actually starts.. yes, its not really that productive? but you don't need someone physically there to feel their support and love...
he cant be there to be physical support, but theres not too much difference other than no hugs, kisses, holding hands, dates etc...
its just a hope to me i guess... just a hope.. that keeps me going...

when i looked at him in my school's theatre, i stood by the door while im supposed to be watching my brother play, i just stared at his back... but my friend and i saw his necklace got caught with his shirt... a necklace... which his friends said, and my friend proved, to have a ring on it... he's wearing the other one.. both engraved... then he turned around and looked at me... i felt like i was talking to him or something, i could see what was on his mind... the sadness, the pain... the fear...

good luck to you too,
i hope you never cut again,
i'm glad you think a bit differently,
but really, you don't need thank me, i'm not the one who's stopping you, your boyfriend is :)