Perhaps advice...

Well, today was pretty depressing.
I was very tired, having gone to bed at 2:00 a.m. and being woken by my three hungry cats at 6:00 a.m., so that's about four hours sleep...

Anyway, I'll tell you that I used to have a cat named Tiger who was very wild. He used to scratch or bite me and wouldn't let go, and he was male so he kept on "marking" everything.
Eventually my dad took Tiger, me, and a handful of pebbles and took us for a walk about,um, five blocks from where we lived.
I can't remember exactly how we had decided it, but we arranged to leave the cat there, alone, to fend for himself.
My dad asked me not to tell my mum, to just say that he had run away, to avoid further trouble.
I think my mum is the only one in the family who doesn't know what really happened.

Today I almost told her. I was getting so stressed, and I said "Tiger didn't run away, dad dumped him."
And my mum was like: Oh no no no, it wasn't like that, dad doesn't even have a car, he couldn't have dunped him.
I almost told her the truth, that I had gone with dad to dump my poor cat, but then I started to cry.

Do you think I did the right thing, to spare her feelings by not telling her, and letting her believe that he just grew up and went off to mate, or letting her know that it was my fault, that me and my dad dumped him.

I even wrote a poem about it called Lamentations. I've tried to let out my feelings about this, but I feel so guilty and so torn up inside. I'm not sure if the guilt will ever go away.

-beth

in my perspective you should tell your mom, you need to

Kori, the poster lives in Chile where it is summer now.

And, Beth, I don't think you should tell your mom. It would do nothing positive and serve no purpose unless it your intention to stir up a lot of contention and disruption with your family. Instead, if you have strong feelings about this, you should talk to your dad and tell him you think what he did was wrong.

I'm sure that he did this out of concern for the safety of the family because, as you described, the cat was dangerous. How would you have resolved the matter?

I'm puzzled that the cat did not return to your home afterwards. Cats are notorious for finding their way back home over distances far exceeding 5 blocks.

I'm with Lydia on that one, there isn't much of a reason to tell your mother. Nor do i think you need to feel guilty about this. Cat's are born with a nack for surviving, and if you sayhe was scratching you all the time, he might be happy outside, where he isn't cooped up, cat's always find food. I wouldn't feel guilty about it. If you want to, you can ask your father to tell your mom what really happend, seeing as it was his idea not to tell her.
Hope you feel better.
~*Ley*~

I abandoned Tiger about two years ago. But if I remember correctly, it was in the warm season. Anyhow it doesn't snow here.

Thinking about it now, I know that the self that I know would never, ever abandon a cat, as much as a mother would abandon a child who had become violent.

I remember that I would look up at the roof from time to time, wishing that he would return.
He never did.
Now I'm left with another cat whom I don't know is alive or not.
Tiger just seemed so special as a kitten. Can you believe he was my Christmas present?
My dad made me throw away the "toy" he had brought me when it began to malfunction.

I just do not know why I decided to do something so cruel, and I just realized that, without wanting to, I blocked this out.
Until recently, I didn't really remember it so much.

I hate myself so much. I'm supposed to be an animal lover, above all a cat lover, and yet I threw away a precious little beast, a present.
I've lost so many cats, and felt so lonely after they were gone, I can't remember why I would treat Tiger like that.
It wasn't his fault that he was wild, but I just let him go like that. To fend for himself.

I was thinking of writing the story to my mum on paper, because when I try to tell her, I cry.

-beth

um, yeah, you should tell. that will probably be the only way the guilt will go away.