i need some advice...

on how to feel better. my mom is always yelling at me, and my dad's an alcoholic. my grandma is always lowering my self esteem, and my life is so stressful that I became a cutter. =( i'm trying to stop, but it is SO hard! the only person i feel like i can tell anything to about all of this is my best friend. please, PLEASE give me advice.

hey lisa,
best friends are great to turn to when things like yours happen. I'm also a cutter and understand how stress can get to you. If I were you I would try and get your dad help, they have hotlines out there for help with alcohics and their families. And your mom and grandma I would talk to them also how you hate being put down like that..they are your family they shouldnt put you down like that. I have learned in the past year that talking helps alot no matter who it may be guidence counclers, teachers, friends and some many more people! I hope your problems get better and in the mean time just try and relax that things one at a time and think b4 you cut. Im trying to stop also so if you need anymore advice you can send me a private email through Poems and Quotes when you go to my profile. Hope to hear from you Lisa.

Your friend,
Juls

i'm afraid that if i talk to my mom and grandma about it, they'd get mad. as for my dad, i don't think i'd be able to do that. i don't know what he might do to me if i do. i mean he has't done anything to me yet, but who knows with alcohlics? =(

hey sounds like your having a pretty rough time and the only advice I can offer is for you to talk to someone, try as you might most of the time these things dont just disappear.

Try to stop the cutting I know its hard but a few years down the line your just gonna end up with a body messed up with scars.

Talk to your doctor, a therapist, friends. Anyone just get it out of you.

take care xxx

i'll try to talk to my sister about the cutting, but i'm not sure i want to. i mean i want to stop, but i don't think i can tell my sister

well.. telling just anyone is a start... including typing it up on forum?
think of it this way, the more you talk about it, the more comfortable you become with telling people about it, eventually you'll be able to tell your sister, and possibly even confront the rests of your family about it?? hang in there, try to think of the things you love and cherish most, how sad and hurt your best friend would be if ANYTHING happened to you...

Lisa, Im guessing you write poems since you are a member of this site. Try write a poem to your sister. Its a way so she can truly understand what you do and why. Good luck

lisa, yo uhave my sympathy. however, do you really think cutting yourself is the way to go? talking about is good, and im glad to hear that you do that. i just don't see why cutting yourself will make things any easier. if it upsets you that much. talk to your parents as well as your grandma, even if you don't think they'll understand...you'd be suprised. and don't be afraid either. even though i can see as to why you would be. but no person should ever have to be driven over the edge like you are now. you don't deserve it. remember that. but also remember cutting won't take anything away. it can't rid of memories. it can't get rid of people. it can't get rid of pain...it just causes that. i don't mean to lecture, and i don't mean to sound like i know everything. i just want to help. take care and god bless

-dominique

thanks for all the advice so far you guys. i know cutting doesn't help, which is why i'm trying to stop. it's just so hard. i started at the beginning of last year though. i know i need to talk to my family, i just feel like i can't.

that's understanable, in most cases like this one, alot of teens feel like they can't talk to the ones that are causing them pain in the first place. because they don't know how they'll react..or they might just make their pain worse. however, if you don't be upfront about it with your family this could get so much worse, and i know u dont want that to happen. im glad to hear that you're trying to stop. i have alot of respect for that, because you realize its an unhealthy habit, so props. i just don't want what happen to my friend to happen to you or anybody ( went to a "help" hospital ) and i know i dont know you..or anyone here for that matter. it's just i hate to see anyone go through pain they dont deserve in the first place.

ok, well my mom, she's really stressed out right now, so she yells at us a lot. when she's not stressed she's fine. i don't know, i'm scared to talk to her about my problems when she's like this because she'll probably flip out on me. i think when i tell anyone in my family... if i do... it would be my sister. i wouldn't tell my dad. that would just make my dad drink more.

(tears) i feel like cutting so i decided to get on the computer again instead. grr, i'm so mad at my mom!

dont cut, do anything but that. I do the same thing when I feel like cutting I go on the computer, go jogging, write poems......

yeah, i figured i should come out of my room so i couldn't do it. its helped so far. i can't do it now or my family might see.

yea, its really what i was going through. I was on the swim team and I couldnt do it anymore because my coachs would see the cuts, so that helped me stop kinda. Maybe try and get urself invovled with a activay or club or something. it might not help fully but it makes you a less risk to yourself because people are around and I dont think you cut in front of people, well I really hope not

no i don't. i don't want everyone to know. that's a good idea, joining something. maybe i should try that.

yea, I didnt think it would help me but once I got invovled with swimming and photography it has helped me. Im not on the swimming team anymore...but photography has taken up alot of my time. Just go out one day and get yourself invovled. I dont like being home around my family that much so I do that and im round my friends.
Good luck

ok, what i can't stand is that when people think of cutters they think of someone who wears all black all of the time and is isolated from everyone else. and another thing, why do people think we do it for attention? most cutters are exactly the opposite!!

thanks, juls. and everyone else. you've helped me a lot so far! i don't feel like cutting anymore.

Im not a "gothic" person as some people label others. I think people only say we dont it for attention because...they cant find a better reason to tell us. Most dont understand why we do it unless they do it themselfs, they dont know what it is like to cut yourself and why. I dont get mad at people that dont understand, thats how life is. Im glad I could help you and Im here for anyone that needs some1 to talk to.

Juls~

yeah, i know, most cutters aren't like that. anyway, i had to get off the computer earlier because my mom said i was spending too much time on the computer. then she started yelling about how i'm so lazy and how i don't help out any more, so i just decided to get off. whatever, she's gone now...went to the store.

My mom is the same way, she doesnt know I have been writing poems or talking to you guys on here so sometimes she yells at me to get off. lol

I will be in the chat room on this site if you need me

yeah, my mom doesn't know either. she doesn't even know i have an email address(my friend set it up). she'd kill me if she knew!!!!

My mom knows I have email but she doesnt know I write poems, like I said I would rather keep it that way

yeah, my sister feels the same way about my family. i mean, i talk to her about them, but not the cutting. i think that if i would tell her, she may not see me the same as she used to. in fact, i think i'm more worried about what she would think about me than anyone else, but i definitly want her to be the first one to find out if i ever do tell my family.

I was worried about what people would think about me if they found out I cut. I just thats why I kept it to myself because I dont want the ones Im close to change their mind about me. I think the people that really care about you wouldnt change their mind about you, they wil try and help you no matter the problem. But I would tell your sister if you want her to know, thats what sisters are for.

i'm just afraid she would let something slip to my mom. =(

grr
(tears)

i have to go now.
mom's complaining.
bye
**lisa**

Yeah, my sister was the one that told people about my cutting, but I was so addicted that I couldn't get over it without professional help so in my case that was good. Start by being honest with your siste and talk about your family stuff and even ask her how she deals with it. Start that connection between the two of you. Also there are support groups you could go to or hottlines. I haven't tried them myself but I have gotten positive remarks about them from others. I promise cutting will only make things worse and yeah. I was anti suicidal b/c I have had several friends who have tried, but guess what . . . after I started cutting I tried to kill myself . . . 8 times. No joke. Yeah. Cutting is serious. Keep talking to your friend, people on this site and start the communication with your sis and see how things go from there. I hope I was helpful. Good luck babe, you're not alone.

-Tainted Mikochan

thanks.

i wanted to cut today... BUT I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!

Well goood job, I wish I could say the same but I cant :(

well, it's your advice about doing something else that helped me. i wrote a poem instead, then started to clean my room, which made my mom happy. i don't have anything to occupy my time now that school's out for 16 days. but hey, i'm not complaining!!! still though, it kept me from cutting during the day. when was the last time you cut? it's been 4 days for me, i felt terrible for doing it, since i had gone for 2 weeks, which just made me want to cut more :-(

thanks. you know what? not cutting made me feel GREAT!!!!!

When I get mad I clean my room...lol. I just cut myself last night. I feel horrible about doing it and I couldnt focus in school I was so upset. I guess I should take my own advice. but anyway...Im SOOO glad u didnt cut that makes me feel so good

yeah, it was really hard. but, your advice really helped... and hey, i made my mom happy!!!! but yeah, i went shopping yesterday, and am going again today. god, when i got home yesterday, my dad was so out of it, it wasn't even funny. i just went to my room. i hate it when he gets like that.

yeah, i'm in my room A LOT!!!!!! i don't like to be out when my dad's drunk. no telling what he might do! god, i have nightmares about him doing stuff to me, and he's never done anything. is that weird? i always have nightmares about my mom and sister dying in a car accident, too. i think it's because i'm scared to be alone with him. i don't know.

I dont think its weird at all. I have dreams about that,not by my dad but with my uncles. My dad doenst drink but my uncles do and I have seen them drunck and it scares me I guess. I dont know but Im weird around guys I dont want to go into why I am becuase its a long story but if you think your dad might do something to you(I hope not) go to a neighbors or friends house or something.