my past... and rape...(Guys advice needed most...girls welcome)

well the guy i am dating is really awesome. but i have something to tell him but i am scared to. i was malested for four years by my stepdad and i think he has a reason to know. when he touches me, say on the arm or leg, i flinch and he has asked me about it already and i just told him he surprised me. also i am in foster care and it is because of my step dad malesting me. when he asks why i am in foster care, i dont know what to tell him. i dont want him to think that i wanted it or anything like that. i dont want to lose john but i dont want to keep this to myself anymore. can any of you help me think of ways to tell him without scaring him away? if i lose him... i am just sooooo scared...please help

thank you so much for your advice...i took it and well...he really didnt say much at all...he didnt even comment...so now what? please help

Telling a loved one something like that usually takes time to set in. He must have been left speechless. Try to sit down with him and talk to him about it. Tell him what he thinks and if it will effect the relationship or not. If he feels that it'll cut into both of your time together then he never really cared for you. Your true love will stand by you no matter what has happened in the past. My girlfriend was also raped and I stand by her as much as I possibly can. I don't know how this will do...but I hope it helps.

thank you for your advice...

I'm sure he is a good guy, and is just really upset that something this terrible has happened to you. I can't imagine that he would like you less because you've been molested. So just be happy with him, he is just trying to figure out how to help you be happier (i'm sure)

i wanted to say im sorry that you had to go through that its never happend so im no help

well thanks for all the advice. it turned out he was a jerk anyways so i dont really care about him anymore. he cheated on me. but thank you all for taking time to give me advice.
xoxo-dawn