AGE DIFFERANCE

how would you tell your mom that your dating a 21 year old when your 16? And i know they jump to conclusions but i mean he's really nice and i actually found someone who likes me for me. so can you just give me some examples on this?

umm you have to let her know gradually like just being friends w/ him for a while then telling you want to date him and also have her meet him often

Its hard when this happens and i think julie is right mostly, i would imagine it would be hard waiting that long i know you just want to shout it from the roof tops do whatever your heart tells you too...or whatevr julie says lol her advice would have been helpful to me a year ago...lol

but theres a twist he's a differant guy, he has a 1 year old daughter and his record isn't the best either, and with his daughter mom's she still cares for him alot cause they were together a long time, and he doesn't care for her so yeah i don't know what to do.

well i got out of a relationship a while ago sorta like this but without a kid....i told my parents straight up i cant lie to my parents it was tough they gave me a hard time about it....he was in jail for the 3 months out of the nine months for tonz of things my parents are against....its tough....but it depends how much you wanna go through for him

Personally, I think that a five year age difference is way too much when you're 16. I'm not saying you are immature, but there are different maturity levels there, and it probably isn't such a great idea.

"how would you tell your mom that your dating a 21 year old when your 16?"

my mom would find out before I got a chance to tell her.

btw, I like the twist. and I highly doubt that he likes you for you. he's only worried about what he can get from you.

Im 13 and I lost my virginity to my best friends 18 y/o brother. My mom found out and flipped! Now I can never see him again. It sux. At first I thought he just wanted sex, but it turned into love. He always talked about other girls and stuff, but when we were alone it was different. I can never see him again! Im so sad..........

Whatever you do make sure she doesnt not let you see him again. Youll regret it BIG time!

Ok, I completely hear you and support the fact that you're saying he understands you and loves you for you and what not, but there's this little thing called statutory rape. Frankly, I'm surprised no one has brought this up yet. I bring this up because the law around this term states that it is illegal for a person over the age of 18 (ie your boyfriend) to have sexual relations with a minor (ie you). Now, I'm assuming that you are not going to abstain from having sexual relations with your boyfriend for the next two years, so what you have done or plan to do is in fact an illegal act. And yes, he could go to jail for it.

Just be careful, because it's more than just a "my mom doesn't approve" sort of issue.

yea that true but if she knows her mom wont press charges then she is fine....thats the only way he could go to jail is if someone presses charges....trust me ive been through it....thats why i told my mom i knew she wouldnt press charges she understood even though he was older and did not have a good record she knew i loved him and wouldnt do that to me...and belive it or not guys... even though he is older he still has a heart and can still want her for her...not just for sex...its a big possability that all he wants is sex but i just wanna help you...like i said follow your heart...if he is worth all this then do it dont do anything your going to regret.....i have a friend right now that has been with her boyfriend for almost 2 years i belive she is 16 and he is 28 or 29 i ve seen them together they are so in love and they have been engaged for i think a year now...i still think julie is right just kind ease into it....first "just friends" and work along that line... good luck sweetie

Wow... that is some intensely fertile semen.

I agree with bob shank completely. Also from a males point of view. You’re a 16 year old girl, to most you are naive and easily manipulated (just stereotyping) That is how most men his age would view you. Check out today’s society. In all actuality, what is it that most men think about? Sex. Now how is an easy way to get sex? Hmm find a girl who is naïve and easily manipulated? What a concept!

Here’s a run down on the stats so far. First, He is 21, far more matured then the 16 year old boys… A 21 year old man should be smart enough not to get involved with a 16 year old girl… AT first thought, hes an idiot… not a good sign. Second, he has a kid, which isnt a bad thing, but you clearly said he doesn’t care for the child’s mother even when they were together for awhile… I think that’s a GREAT example of how your relationship could end up. Now, third. In the USA there is statutory law, above 18 blah blah blah (in canada its 16) in most states, it no longer matters If your parents press charges, the state will press charges (it has changed so the parents only have a choice if the age difference is more then 3 years, and both are under 18)

Now with all that discord spoken and said. Lets a ponder a moment… hmmmmm Well, in my opinion, Don’t get involved with him… For YOUR best interest. The chances of it turning out bad, are higher then it turning out good. And theres always more love interests in the future with better stats… I promise…

What 21 year old man would SERIOUSLY date a 16 year old girl. Funny just the other day I was at 7-11 getting gas. This is so weird that I came across this topic. Two guys were getting gas on the other side - both in their early twenties. They were friends and apparantly hadn't seen each other in a while as they were both telling their stories of the young "sex Gods" they had. Ones girl was your age and the other one was like 18. The one with the 15 year old said that young "P" (nasty p word) is better than anything he'd ever had before. Now PLEASE tell me what this guy wants with you? Your beautiful heart? LMAO Don't be silly!! Use your head and find a guy your age. When I was 15 I was just like you...I dated a guy who was 19 because guys my age were too immature, so I wasted a lot of time because he ONLY wanted to get in my pants. But guess who I went on to spend 5 years with? A guy who was my age. Only one year older. Five incredible years of my life with one of those ole stinky young boys. Get over the MAN - you two have nothing in common and you lead two totally differently lives. You're "fresh meat" to a 21 year old m'dear.

And...any mother who wouldn't put a no contact thing on a 21 year old man dating a child would be an idiot and in my eyes a good for nothing mother.

Now heres a story you all. Its not to condone a choice of dating older men... Just if you do there may be some hope. My sister started dating Tommy when she was 14. he was 19. No one figured it would work, my mother flipped out. But in the end didn't press charges, cause my sister was so head over heels for him. BUt none the less the state did. He has become a registered sex offender and was kicked out of college.... Not very good huh. But none the less, my sister now just turned 20. and shes been haippily married to Tommy for a year now. Just to show that not all older men are sex obsessed... then again tommy was an 18 year old morman virgin...

See...there's a difference. No one said it could NOT work but why chance it. No I feel and this is my opinion any mother who allows their daughter to date a MAN is good for absolutely nothing. I think your sister's story is awesome but what are the chances this chicks guy is a morman virgin? Hmmmmm...slim to none.

If you read above you would see that I do not cadone her choice. Just thought I would share. And from what I've heard about this guy, he is no mormon, nor a virgin for sure. I still agree with my first post, and say forget about him.

I wasn't suggesting you did...only sharing my opinion. No need for argument

Agreed darling, love and peace for all!!

Age doesn't always matter. My uncle and aunt have an age differance of 8 years. And they've been happily married not for like 25 years and have a daughter whose turning 21. So sometimes age differance doesn't matter at all. But it does depend on the guy. It always does.
~Luvz~
~Chica~

16 dating a 21 year old MAN that your parents have met?! You're parents are nuts and I'll tell you why. While you're gossiping in school he's in the real world working. While you're riding on the bus he's driving his own car. While you're playing on the computer on Saturday night he's out drinking. While you're living with your mommy he's carrying real responsibility. You two are on two totally different sides of the earth and it's silly. I wouldn't care if he was a damn prince - if he's 21 years old he wouldn't be dating MY daugther of 16. People can fall in love and that I understand but if true love it is then it can wait. It can wait until you're on the same path as him because in the next couple of years you will go through some serious changes and I don't think a young girls needs a MAN to more complicate that part of life. But that's only one person's opinion. What do I know - I'm only a young woman who's gone through all of this already.

If the dude has a kid you have to be step mom - I only say that as you talk like it's a serious relationship. No girl at 16 is ready to be a mom...and I personally think playing STEP mom is a bit more rough as there are boundaries and rules...which make things a bit more difficult. I think you'd be a complete full to continue the relationship with him. Let him go...

i was 13 when i hooked up with my ex.
him being 18.

LMFAO Now that's disgusting. Girl...he "hooked" up with you. MY POINT EXACTLY!!!!! You just proved everything I've been saying. You're a piece of meat to him. They'll tenderize you and then fry your ass like a dead chicken...HAHAHA You silly girls!

lol. hey i liked the guy and he liked me too.
to me age is just a number, not a guid line in which what category (age i mean) you should love in. if the guy treats me good, respects me, and there is great trust between us, i see nothing wrong.
he never layed a finger on me if i didnt like it, we never even had sex, im still a virgin.

You're still a virgin...now the guy is an EX boyfriend? Hmmmmmm.....need I say more. HAHAHA

before we even started going out he told me sex wasnt on him mind with me. he just deeply cared for me and he wanted to be with me, thats a true guy. and anyways, he was a virgin him self too.
dont pull that crap that all he was looking for was to get in my pants cause i wouldnt let him until i felt i was ready. shut your mouth you dont know shyt. maybe with the guys that you've been with have been like that, but not me. i've run into some 'one of a kind' guys. if you cant believe that, O well. i'd just say i've run into more luck with true guys then you. and my current boifriend he doesnt presure me into sex. he's says, "when ever you're ready, im ready..."
and my current boifriend is 16. greatful is what i am and lucky!
whether you or anyone else sees it so, i am.

read my something i wrote.
'I drove my Ex to his Death'

Any 18 year old guy trying to "date" a 13 year old is not looking for your beautiful heart deary! He's looking to get in your pants...I got seven years on you so I do know a little something. I never denied that there could be a good guy out there that was interested in a younger girl. However, a MAN with any dignity and half a brain wouldn't lead himself into temptation as a GIRL and a MAN have nothing in common. And another though - if he "truly loved" a young girl then his love could wait for her. As I said he is now your EX so it couldn't have been that serious. He was so wonderful why didn't he stay around? I feel no need to argue further with a 14 year old girl telling me an 18 year old loved her at 13. PLEASE!

say what you say. it aint true. i knew him and he had a beautiful heart that everyone took for granted. not all guys are the same, going out with you for sex. their are guys out there who go out with you to be that special someone in your life, and he was that. he had a big heart and a personality to fit with it. he was someone so special to me.

with love i dont think a number should matter.

he didnt stay around cause i hurted him, and i knew what he was going through, and i should've known better then to say the things i did.
love is something he's always lacked in his family.
and he told me i was the first to bring it in. i broke his heart for the last time. and i basicaly told him i didnt care/ and i dont believe him taking his own life he'd seriously do. (i was mad at him) he lost hope. espesically when he told me that he loved me and i didnt say it back. he was hurt by that, but i didnt know what true love was until i lost him the first time. then when i REALLY lost him...

a person like him trully defined love.
although we had our problems he was still always there for me, until i pushed him as far as he could go.
if you did read the story, the e*mail said he still loved me and he was just too weak. word for word i up what he wrote on his last e*mail. it was him. (except his name)
that was love we once had.
it was never nothing less.

Like I said - I'm done with the argument.

im not trying to make it go on. only saying.
its our opinion, not an argument.

Take Care,
BX Girl*

age dosent matter...if its love its love...go with what your heart sees not your eyes
take care
cherry

I don't think age should matter. I just went through a similar situation where a girl 4 years younger than me liked me and I liked her. She was really mature for her age and we had alot of things in common. It's just that her sister, who is my friend, and her parents made such a big deal about it that we really don't like each other anymore. What i'm saying is, don't let a few years difference break up what might be a great relationship.