I need someone to talk to

Im 14 and Im sure my life hasnt been as tough as anyone else's but its enough to make me miserable. My mom had a baby girl the day before my third birthday, that baby died 3 months later From SIDS on January 3, 1993. I went to play therapy for that. I remember using a little doll house and acting out what happened. But anyways, my whole family (Mom dad siblings neices aunts uncles and so on) is on anti depressants. last Summer my mom tried to choke me because i dropped somethign on the floor. She doesnt listen to me and I hate her, I want to move out of this house. I've lost all of my friends because of one fight. My boyfriend of almost 9 months broke up with me, My first love and he always told me we'd get married and how much he loved me. My sister is so judgemental and although most of my family makes me feel very stupid, she is the worst. SHe is always trying to make my decisions for me and she tries to make me feel bad if Im not in the mood to come stay with her for a few days. and her kids are the worst they do things just to push my buttons they always fight and scream and hit and pinch and its too much to handle. I've considered suicide so many times and there is always a voice in the back of my head asking if i am insane to consider it. I really need someone to talk to, I dont feel comfortable talking to the few friends I have, I dont trust my parents and I can never think of the things i want to say to my psychiatrist, Please I need someone.

Casey,
I've had a ruff life too. And I'm here if you need to talk. Email- kati3m33ks@hotmail.com.. Suicide isn't the answer, I know..

hey gurl dis ish sad but if u need me ill be thre for u i like to help because it makes me feel good lolz but yea u can email me at swtashunbabygurl@yahoo.com or um... aim u can im me at XxBrOkEnLoVe24xX kaz byez

1st of all-Luke is going through all of these boards making everyone feel like crap, so I wouldn't listen to him.
2ndly, don't say that you haven't gone through near as much as other people have, because It sounds like you have gone through a lot, and you shouldn't be comparing your life to others anyway, that just makes you think of yourself lessly.
then 3rdly, It sounds to me like your family may be reminded of the young girl by you because you were so young at the time and are closer to her, and they hate remembering her all the time and being sad, so they take it out on you. With the description that they are trying to influence your life and control it, that could be that they blame themselves for the death or blame themselves that they didn't stop it, so they need to be in control of something and make sure they don't make another big mistake, although they are making a mistake in not loving you enough.
Well that's just a little brief thing but whenever you need to talk or tell someone something you can email me and i would be happy to try and help you. or to at least just be your friend. you can email me at singinchic800@yahoo.com and i promise to write back. Lots of Love! --Sierra

First off that is very sad to hear about your families loss.. Lossing a child is very hard on parents. I think the way they are treating you is because they are not yet over the death of there baby girl.. They are to caught up in her death, that they have forgoten about you and your sisters needs.

You might have to sit down and talk to them. Maybe they beed to speak with someoen to help them get over this pain that is causing them to no live there lives.. I am sorry for what you have been going through.. And I would think about asking them to see someone with you. Get your family involved. It sounds to me that knowone there is over the death of your sister..

Try to keep an open mind.. The way you are being treated is not your fault. nor your parents. They are so deep into this death that they cannot function normally.

if you need any help.. You send me a messege ok.. I hope things get better..

luke are you really 99?

Luke i have to say you are a fuckin asswhole you jus need to shut the fuck up. you are a jerk, ok, you know some ppl can be depressed, they can have shit goin on int thier lives, and they can do things that no one really understands, they might not them selves, and your asshole comments dont help, so why dont u jus do us all a favor and shut the fuck up

Idk.... I dont think that his opinion was that far from wrong... my life isnt that bad, in the past few weeks i have met people who have it worse than me and i dont think the suicidal stuff anymore. he helped me more than anyone else cuz from what I read no one understood what i was saying.

It wasnt jus this post. He has been makin comments that are jus fucked up. like in the discussion about cutting, i think that he jus wants someone to kill themselves

Whoa Luke... You're even older than me! I'm only 102 years old... heh. Let's hope we don't die TOO soon...
Aken Sol

lol (cough choke cough)
Depends is a really great brand. Out of all the ones I used, it's the best.
And at least you get to breathe on your own! I use i machine...
Aken Sol

O.o...
You got one too?!?!? Those liars, they said i was the only one... That's the tobacco company for you
-_-
Aken Sol