please give me advice, i really need it

well my friend decided to rely on me and i want to help her but i dont know how. like im not to good at emotional things being i never share emotions and i dont want to hurt her. see a friend before her relied on me and i let her down. she tried to talk to me but i tried and could not help her and she tried to kill herself and i blame me for that and so do others so i know im not alone in that. but i dont want to mess up her life, give her bad advice or hurt her. she cuts her wrists and its because of her step mom and other reasons such as rape and being ignored by a parent. i have been through a lot of things that she has but i dont know what to say to confort her. im not any good at that. i just REALLY do not want to screw up. i dont even know y she picked me, why any one would. im a screw up at life. please please help. offer any kind words of advice. i NEED them. =*(

she picked you, because she probably feels closes to you. all people really need in their life is someone to talk to...someone to listen. all you can do is be her friend. you have no control over what people do to themselves...so don't take blame. my guess is that you don't want your friend to continue slitting her wrist...let her know that. tell her how much it concerns you, tell her that hurts you to see her go through so much pain. when she confides in you, tell her what you would want to hear if you were in her situation. however, most importantly..promise her that you'll never leave her side no matter what...because it sounds like what your friend needs right now...is someone to be a friend in return. and obviously you can do that considering the fact that your worried you might her. trust me...if your friend to the best of your ability...you won't. god bless and good luck.

-dominique

All I wil say is if someone wants to committ suicide it will be done. There is nothing you can say or do to change that. I believe whole heartedly that if someone decides their ready they will do it - without the failed attempt attention grabber. Someone "attempting" to kill themselves is crying out for attention - it's not your fault by any means. If someone tries to kill themselves because of something you said then they were far beyond your help to begin with. Just be a friend and be there for her...who says you have to give her advice.

hi. im not sure what you should do, but she obviously told you because she though you could her her and she trusts you so just go with your instincts. It's really hard to understand why people do such things like this, but never ever give up on her. Just always be there for her, a shoulder to cry on, and dont try and force her to stop cutting because it will only add to her stress. I'm sure you wont give her bad advice, just give it your best and no1 will blame you
Pollyx

Natalie84 is right, when someone tries wants to kill themselves, I mean really is intent on doing so you can't stop them. I have had some dear friends who had done it, even when there were people in their life that loved them and everything it just turned out that way. I know I had the boyfriend of my dreams and a really good best friend and I still tried to kill myself. It just happens that way I guess. Sometimes some things just seem too much, but either way you friend's death/attempted death (you didn't way weither she successed or not) is NOT your fault. That was a lesson that took me a long time to learn. I had a guys that liked me in middle school but I told him that I didn't like his that way and for months, several months he told me that he was going to kill himself if I didn't stay. He had tried before so it wasn't just an empty threat. (That is how we met, I stopped him from killing himself one night.) I remember that was hell and I was so so so scared and thought I was all my fault if he did, but I know it's not. He was a horrible person at the time and really unstable. What he did was his decision and his life, but I didn't know at the time. Thanks to him and a billion other things I fell into depression and I have been there ever since. Anyway, not discussion my life story here. The point is that it is not your fault. You can love someone all you want, but in the end the decission is theirs. You can't beat yourself up for their decision.

-Tainted Mikochan

Sorry, not done talking yet, lol. That post was just too long. Also about your friend asking you for help. My ex and I were both cutters (another long story) and we were both struggling so what we decided was that we were going to crutch eachother. We could depend on eachother to talk and to listen. (we broke off for other reasons thre freaking ***** ) anyway . . . sorry that is a sore spot for me. Tell your friend that you what to help her but you are also struggling yourself. Ask her if you guys can help eachother out. It could build a very strong relationship between the two of you and really help you out while still letting you be a friend to her. Talk to her about how you feel, the most important thing in ANY kind of relationship is HONESTY. Once you loose honestly, the relationship will fall, no matter what. That is my other but of two sense. I hope I helped. Love you baby!

-Tainted Mikochan

ok. well i invited her to come over my house on friday and we can hang out. i dont entertain much so its gonna be movies and food. hope thats a good start. people who know me and know my friend who attempted suicide tell me it is my fault and to this day we cant have a conversation together because of what was said and done. i just dont know what i would do if i let someone else down like i did her. it would tell me that im a failure at life and a terrible friend. but we have to look on the bright side, i havent done that yet! the whole idea of being there for each other is a great idea but that means i would have to share and i dont think i could do that. i know i REALLY REALLY should be able to talk to her and trust her being she trusts me but i cant. i CAN NOT get hurt one more time by someone like that. turn their back on me or tell my secrets. it has happened one to many times. once again if that happened i dont know what i would do. the reason i can say this here is because none of u know me. like all u know is nobodyspecial44. u cant put a name or a face to that. u all care so much. u cared enough to read this and enough to comment. that means the world to me. i dont have all that much caring in my life. so thank you

...

it WAS NOT your fault that your friend tried to kill herself, ok. all i can say is basically like what dominque said. just try to give your friend the best advice that you can. when they are upset, just listen to them. let them get all of their feelings out. it helps... believe me. maybe you should try to share you feelings with her. sometimes it helps to know that they aren't the only one that goes through stuff like that. she obviosly trust you, so you should trust her. i've got to go... my mom wants me to get off the computer. if you need to talk email me.

wow so im having a mental break down and its not going to well. today the only person who i thought really actually cared about me just turned away and finally showed me that she didnt care. she left me all alone and almost in tears when i needed her the most. im tired of people just giving up on me and just forgeting about me. if im that easy to forget maybe i should just die like i want but i went to a funeral yesterday for a child and it made me think, i have tried to die a couple times before and this child never even had a chance to really live. i am screwing up my life, the life i was blessed with and can live. im not much of an attention seeker. i think i am now b/c i just feel so alone. so VERY VERY alone. i should just shut the hell up and stop complaining. i just suck at life.

Hey. Your friend actually sounds a bit like me. All the advice i can really give you is always let her know that you are there. Let her know that she has at least one person out there who cares for her. Listen to her and tell her that you are always there for her when she needs to talk, although you might not be able to help, you can listen. Trust me, it feels HEAPS better when people just listen to my problems and sometimes its better if they dont help. I feel that the last thing i want is people coming up with all these ideas that i dont want to do! :S
I hope that ive helped, good luck! xoxo

Nobodyspecial44,
I know how you feel. I feel like dying everyday.. and if people in here are going to judge you because you think abut suicide then they can SHUT THE FUCK UP! People dont think of suicide for attention... the think of it because they are so alone, they feel like no one cares.. and ur right if someone wants to attempt suicide they are going to do it. The only thing you got to do is tell them that if they want to do it then do it.. but also let them know that you care about them too. When I cut my wrists and my boyfriend found out.. you know what he did? He told me to kill myself and he said sat down on my bed with a knife in his hand.. and he told me to take it. I thought he was crazy and I thought that he didnt love me because he was sitting here telling me to kill myself.. but he was the opposite. He took the knife and started slitting his wrists until blood started dripping on the floor and I started to freak out and cry.. I told him to stop... and he said "See.. how I feel every time you do it." And from that day foward I realized that I did have people in my life that cared about me. But me and that boyfriend split up like a year ago and we lost contact. Just a couple days ago I saw on the news that he was killed by a drunk driver... but since then I feel in love with someone else and got my heart broken. I wanted to die so bad.. I started cutting again, over dosing on pills, not eating, and if I did eat I would just go and puke it up. Nobodyspecial44.. your not alone. If you need help .. please e-mail me...
xox__broken__love__xox@hotmail.com

Take Care,
xox *Deadly Angel* xox

wow, day by day things get worse. i thought for new years i would give up cutting... ha! i wonder how cutting started like who would think of putting a blade to skin and why now in times it has become "trendy". i mean it is. most people wont admit it but u see someone else do it and then when u get depressed or want attention u do it.