I'm scared...I don't know what to do.

Krissy,

What has happened to you is sad.. and Just think the guy that did this to you, will have that on his mine the rest of his life... It will eat at him everyday.. because he knows what he did was wrong. That's probably why you see him so much now.. He wants to see how you are taking what happened to you..

On the other hand, I was raped by guy I liked that I worked with.. About a year later my parents moved into this new house. and Him and his new girlfriend lived right behind us.. Everyday I would get up, and go outside he would be there watching me!!!! It made me sick.. I wanted to bad to take a gold club to his face and make him feel what I felt that night.. But he's not worth it.... Let him have sleepless nights..

Now about your boyfriend now.. If you are not ready to be trusting with someone, or let yourself get to know this person on a deeper level. Then maybe you need to talk this over with him.. Tell him where you stand, and how you want so much to be close and open with him.. It might be best not to waste his time, if he is in this for the laong haul. You might have to deal with your problems first before you can trust another guy again..

I am getting married in a few weeks.. It took me a while to trust another man.. But I found one that is there for me and would do nothing to hurt me. If you really like this guy. then stick around. Slowly move on.. and tell him you want to take it slow.. becasue of what happened to you before.. If he likes you he will be ok with that.. Take your time, and maybe soemday you will love him, and forget about what you were so fearful about before..

Good luck with everything.. It doesn't hurt to talk to someone about your problems.. you never know where thy stand or what they may have to say.

yes, I definitely suggest you talk it over with your boyfriend... especially if you are wanting toget closer. If he is not sympathetic and understanding, then you know you don't have the right guy. I went through a similar situation (read my poems "In the Shadowof Fear" "Forgiveness" and "Visiting the Past") ...I foolishly pushed it down deep and didn't deal with it... until I met my husband... we finally got through it...but it was a tougher battle than it needed to be if I'd dealt with it earlier. Feel free to send me a private message and we can email...